Can you have a healthy relationship with someone with opposing views regarding politics and society?

[Anonymous]

Me and my partner have started to butt heads regularly, especially the topics surrounding sexuality/gender and politics. I'm more 'open' and left leaning when it comes to my opinions, but my partner is a bit more conservative than me.

We manage to agree on certain things and find common ground, but the issue of sexuality and gender is becoming a huge problem. How can you even find common ground or meet each other in the middle when your partner is so rock solid regarding their stance and to them the topic is so incredibly important to them and they want you to more or less comply with them to protect them, make them feel safe and create what they see as a 'positive' future for the future children they want? I'm flexible with regards to compromise, but my partner just rubbishes everything I say, because I'm being 'dangerous' and it is frustrating.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Yes, and it depends on how directly impacted each party is on the issue.

For example if both parties fundamentally disagree on immigrant policies, and one of them is directly affected by the outcome of those policies, it's pretty rubbish for someone to be 'for' policies which directly complicate another's quality of life.

If it's something theoretical like you disagree on immigrant policies, but you're both citizens, it's has no actually affect on you, you can get over it.

Same thing with taxes. Obviously, I like the concept of having people who make a bazillion times a comfortable living wage (assuming 40k - 80k depending location) to foot more taxes. And Obviously, since I'm not the one actually paying 35% of my income, I don't know what that feels like to 'lose' to no good lazy gov programs.

If I ever get married to someone who makes that much money, where 'our' household income is a bazillion times a liable wage, then Ill see if I think differently, because it'll directly affect me.

[sage2021]

You might be able to have some type of relationship, but it won't be healthy. Your differences will not disappear, but cold get even bigger. A very good friend of mine is a Democrat, her husband Republican. During the campaign in 2019 for president they were always arguing about politics. Finally they got a divorce over it. I know one thing for sure, it so much easier to be with someone you get along with. Then it's not work. People say you have to work on your relationship. No, you just need to find someone that isn't always sucking your energy out of you. Find someone who you have a lot in common with. They say opposites attract - no they don't. That is a old wives tale.

[yofuknutz]

Valid point, too many rainbow 🌈 glasses wearing people, can't see the light.

[BazookaTrouper]

If by "relationship" you mean "intimate", then it depends on what the disagreements are. If a woman wants to have children, is against abortion, or is a feminazi, then obviously I wouldn't bother with her.

I'm friends with people who are left leaning and we sometimes talk about politics, and try to come to an understanding on what we don't agree on. I'm right-leaning, but more of a centrist MRA than a kool-aid drinking tRumper. A good example of a type of leftist I don't stay friends with are people who advocate for rioting and looting.

In short, it depends.

[DoneThat2]

I don't see too many people that get wound up about gender issues, but after the election, I completely gave up on trying to have a sensible rational discussion with Trump worshipers. It just doesn't work to debate things with someone who immediately denies proven facts, and gives you wild speculation and rumors as their proof. It might be best to just agree never to discuss those subjects again. It's worked for my sister-in-law and her husband for about 20 years.

[suisuiola]

Personally for me no. It's a huge deal break for me because I'm already someone who talks about everything (Racism, lgbt, abortion, sexism) and if I know your political views don't line up with mine. We're only either going to argue or we won't have much to talk about.

[mrtimn]

You can. It might take some work, but it can happen. You both just gotta agree to be chill and base your relationship on other things. You have to have mutual respect and understanding for why someone would believe a certain way, even if you don't agree.

[DarkWinterNights]

I don’t think it’s possible, which is why there are a set number of topics or beliefs that I will not compromise on when it comes to a partner. In today’s hyper-partisan to the point of hatred society, it’s healthier to stick with like-minded people. Bad in the long run for the country, but there is little alternative.

[karaspara]

Tough one but it is possible for example my aunt is a devout Catholic and my uncle is a staunch atheist yet happily married for 35 years he doesn't interfere or belittle her religious beliefs and I guess she just prays he will see the light one day lol

[Dude_777]

Its possible to have a healthy relationship, as long as you both respect each other different point of views. There is always going to be differences between people point of view and you don't have to agree with them all the time. It's normal.

But in your case, there is no respect from girls side, so it's best to not discuss such matters and simply move on.

I normally avoid controversial topics in friendship and relationships, it really pays off.

[John_Doesnt]

I could never have a healthy relationship with a Muslim woman who supports taliban.

Durka Allah Durka, Muhammad Jihad!

[Hairylegs222]

I already learned my lesson having a relationship with an extreme liberal listening to her annoying rants talking about the same topic over and over. I'm not into politics so I stay away from crazy political people. They can rant amongst themselves away from me 😄

[bamesjond0069]

You can't. Political views are values. You can't square a circle. Best to just call it quits before it gets too serious.

This issue is very important for dealing with kids. Presumably if you take the mainstream liberal transgender view if your son wants to chop of his dick you would support that. While she Presumably thinks thats a mental disease and hopes her son keeps his penis and has children of his own. You can't just simply agree to disagree on something like this.

[Anonymous]

There's a magical solution called agree to disagree and move on. it appears most here don't know about it and then conclude such relationships are doomed. No, that just means they themselves will destroy relationships and it looks like a common trend. Put the relationship above petty opinions. We're not talking about wanting kids or not.

[Anonymous]

Props to your strong independent partner. She deserves respect for having strong unshakeable values and beliefs in a time when most people blindly follow the flock.

She knows the future she wants, and if yours conflicts with hers - or is the complete opposite - you'll likely drive her away if you try to manipulate her. Some things are "yes or no", like her definition of Woman, if you disagree with her on that there's a fundamental incompatibility that won't be broken.

[FoghornLeghorn99]

A difference of opinion is great if both opinions are based on fact.

When it comes to gender nonsense, one side is not based on science.

[DWornock]

Unless it is critical to the relationship, their is no reason that a different of opinion on any number of issues should affect your relationship. My family and I disagree on the Bible, religion, and evolution. I know what they believe, they are not going to change, so I don't discuss those issuers with them. When they bring up how (in their belief) the Bible is from God and that they pray for me, I defer and don't respond.

[Smashingdoozy]

In my experience no. Better to surround yourself with like minded people. It's unfortunate especially when it comes to sexuality and gender which is a major issue that affects a lot of people currently in terms of rights.

[Kaneki05]

Nope, people base there politics on there morality. 2 people having different morality is normally not gonna work unless if it's really small issue that is a bit different.

[Avicenna]

Sure, it's possible, but you generally need to de-emphasize the political differences

[Livewire3]

How will you feel about raising kids under those restraints? I'd hate to have the heart of my child reflect my own and not stand up for them.

[exitseven]

Ten years ago this would not even be a question but the political climate has become so polarized since Obama became president that people want to kill each other over who they voted for.

[yofuknutz]

I've tried.

[genericname85]

Sure. Cause in the end of the day, everyone wants the same, which is: the best society for all of us. We only differ in ways to get to the goal. not in the goal. So that can really bring us together.

[BokieLoc]

Not after covid because it is really hard to have a relationship who believes in this fake virus. I can get past liberal views but this BS and then if you have a kid they will want to poison the kid with vaccines so it is impossible now.

[Anonymous]

It won't. If you're gonna focus on people and topics other than each other, no relationship will be fulfilling