I think everyone is a little bit "broken" in some way or another, and definitely some more than others. I think in my own experience I've not only seemed to attract broken men into my life, but it almost seems like I sought them out, on an unconscious level.. Like I want to try and "fix" them, or like I can help them, whilst they supposedly help me?
But this isn't always the case, this can be a recipe for disaster.. 💯 You can help one another along, thinking because you're both hurting or that you're in similar, yet different predicaments that you're able to sympathise and hold each other close.. but if you're not healing yourself, or have gotten enough support for your own issues first.. Then how are you meant to support someone else to the best of your ability? 🤔
Like wise, when it comes to healthy relationships, does this mean that you are able to rely on this person when something DOES eventually go wrong, not knowing what to expect because you were in a good head space to begin with? 🤔
Yes, this is true - explain why.. ❤️
No, this isn't true - explain why 👍
Other - explain why 😊
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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In relationships, does "damaged attract damaged" and "healthy attract healthy"?
I voted yes it is true. I've just seen it replay over and over with people. A mentally healthy person isn't going to deal with a mental retard for very long. You recognize the difference almost immediately and know this shit isn't going to last very long.
This is going to happen more for someone that puts themselves in a mentally retarded state... like getting drunk at a club for instance. Yeah... you went home with a dumbass, because you were drunk. That guy has practiced his pickup lines for years on many different people and you decided to drink out in public and somehow his meme magic worked on you. Congratulations. That's just a scenario I came up with off the top of my head to sort of display the point I'm trying to make... I don't know you and I'm not saying anything about you. But yeah, that's the sort of shit I've seen over and over in my short 40 years of life.
yes, attraction is sub conscious familiarity, to some degree. There's other thigns going on like opposite energies.
"the broken pieces of me love the broken pieces of you" can be very true. the ensuing pain can expose the inner damaged children, presenting opportunity for those things to be healed or changes to be made to reach stability again... in the end, possibly growing nearer to God... love... which we try to resolve back to.
healthy has the ability to filter to attract happy.
Sensitive/empathic will draw selfish. Needy will control weak
Yea damaged attracts damaged for sure!!! And actually 2 damaged people coming together is very intimate because you really build a connection and get each other. However in the long run it never works out and both of you end up getting hurt even more. It’s because you can’t meet the needs of a healthy relationship because you have nothing to give. Even though you really want to. You can’t. These kinds of karmic relationships are really special. They help you learn a lot about yourself.
It really is just a combination of things. That's why some opposites attract and last, and some don't, and two peas in a pod attract and last, and some don't.
Multiple factors.
Could be the likeness of goals, not always the likeness of their past/ childhoods/ or how pessimistic they may be/introverted/emo or whatever.
I think that many people lack self-confidence and consider themselves to be unlovable. In their mind, they must earn someone's love by rescuing them from a threatened peril. "Oh, you must love me because I saved you from the big, bad wolf."
I think that healthy and damaged describe a very wide variety of things, and one situation can be described as either while still being accurate depending on what you actually mean. For example, you can have two people with lots of trauma who are damaged form a very functional life together. And you can have two people who are fully normal but just click wrong and become abusive and horrible together. It can also be day to day.
This all sounds like a cop out, but it plays into a part of what makes relationships behave disfunctionally in my opinion. Health and functionality are a series of decisions to work in a stable, respectful, and productive way that both people benefit from. When people think in "am I a healthy or damaged person" they put themselves in a box.
I've seen a lot of people with damaged lives say that they can't make healthy decisions because they're damaged, only to then heal later on. When people attract, what makes it healthy or damaged, and what makes them healthy, is choice after choice. Lots of people with horrible mental illness and hardship have made amazing and beautiful lives for themselves.
I think people should focus less on how damaged they are, and more so on how much healthier they can become
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
The Law of Attraction is very real. The people who think it's not have never used it nor understand it. No way you could understand it by studying it for 5 minutes. Studying in general does it not much justice.
Damage does indeed attract damage. You are in harmony with it. Whatever energy you are putting out you attract those types of people with that same energy. When those people come into your life you will allow them to be there too. You are in harmony.
You have to understand what harmony means as we are talking about it. Most don't. It has nothing to do with being the same or being opposites... You can be a healthy person and be in harmony with damage people. It has to do with what images are you holding at a subconscious level.
I strongly agree with damage attracts damaged. I always find it funny because I’d class myself as damaged goods and the only people my eyes seem to turn to in the club are people who I find out are 10x more damaged than me in the long run. A sane person isn’t going to deal with the bs that comes along with a damaged and horrible person but I can say myself because I’m damaged I just put up with it. A lot of my friends are healthy and all they’re relationships are healthy, but the friends who are just like me end up in the exact same position as me which is with guys who are horrible or just not good in terms of a relationship. I ended up getting pregnant by a damaged guy and I don’t regret my baby but I do wish I healed because now I’m just trapped with a damaged man for life. When you heal you don’t seem to attract damaged I’ve noticed.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Personally, i kinda agree. Its what attracts me. I didn't realize this until I've met my current boyfriend. Before him, I've met good guys who are in good places with themselves and their lives. I liked them, but something never felt right and i always ended it with them with no right reason. I met my boyfriend when i didn't want a relationship (typical). We’re going eight months now. I've never loved anyone the same way i do for him. He’s not the usual guy i go out with. I relate to him, I understand him, and it comforts me to know that im not the only person who’s in a miserable place in life. Dont get me wrong, i didn't look for him. It just happened. I just eventually realized why im so drawn to him. So yeah i think i agree with it. I think being in the same “damaged” place, we find peace and security in each other because of it.
1
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
I never feel judged by him, and im okay letting him know things about me i wouldve been ashamed to share with any other guy.
It is true, but it's not always the case. For me, I often end up being attracted to women who've had trauma, since we get it and they often also have my dark/blunt sense of humor. Also, I just prefer it.
I think it would difficult for a girl who grew up in a healthy household and parents who were there to relate to me. It's not me belittling them or saying they've never struggled, but we just have had different lives.
Absolutely, but don't do it if you're broken. Speaking from experience, it's not the "heal eachother" magical romance you'd think it would be. It becomes more of a battle of who's the most broken and who deserves forgiveness for the bullshit they think they're entitled to pull
I think it can be hit or miss. I don't think I am damaged, yet I've been with a couple of women that were treated poorly and ultimately it was their damaged ways that ended the relationships. You can only help so far, if the person (s) not willing to accept your help then it can never become a a healthy relationship.
when I was a little bit messed up... I found my other messed up half... lmao
and then we built up each other through school years, became two people of our own
definitely a life changing experience, for both and for the better, of course
but I would not go as far as to say that's what we attracted... lol
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Yeah I think so. It’s not so much about attraction, more about what will be tolerated. Someone who has genuine confidence and healthy validation for themselves is not going to tolerate anything less from anyone else in terms of a relationship, they’re going to choose someone on the same level. People who see themselves as not damaged but needing to help fix others, do have some sort of issues that would benefit from being worked on.
Maybe, overall. I know there are some people out there who want to "save" someone, to save the damaged person. They are dumb and naive and deserve the turmoil they bring on themselves.
Outside of those types I'd say it is true for the most part.
Yes, this is true. I seem to attract to girls with mental illness, and I attract them because I got mental illnesses. No use to me, lie because one lie leads to another.
I consider myself damaged and I'm strongly attracted to healthy men. I struggle to be good enough for them but I make it somehow. I have never dated a truly broken guy because I'm incapable of fixing anyone.
plenty of healthy people get together with 'damaged' and vice versa, although i guess if you choose to stick around to people who have obvious problems they aren't trying to overcome then you'd probably have problems too
I think that attraction has to do with so many wonderfully different components than those which could be described as being "damaged" or "healthy", that they probably don't have that much influence.
I think at first it is a bit random. But usually two healthy people stay together. Whereas one healthy person+ one damaged person/cheater end their relationship at one point. In the end there will be only damaged people left.
I dont think that is true. I agree with you thay we are all a little broken but i never really like the word damaged. We attract people that find us interesting, they aren't always the same as us
Doesn't look that way, to me!! Look how many girls willfully get involved with abusive men! Most often, she's a healthy undamaged girl chasing after an unhealthy damaged man.
well im not damaged at all and my wife is as you would say damaged she has never been treated right by a guy before and I'm the first one to do it and she has had some experiences that would cause her to be "damaged"
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Me personally I love broken men for some reason, I'm not looking for them I just always fall for them. I always convince myself that I can help them or "fix" them when I can't even help myself lol
Ehh... You can say that. But have seen normal every day people attract totally crazy people. Like, a person arguing with themselves and losing.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I would say healthy attract healthy and damaged attract damaged so much as healthy doesn't put up with damaged and damaged is to f***ed up to recognize healthy.
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