What should I do if boyfriend doesn’t accept my sexuality?

[Anonymous]

I am bisexual
My boyfriend and I have been together for around 10 months and he never knew I was bisexual until a few days ago. He told me I’m weird.

He told me I’d change if I really loved him. I love him so much but I don’t think I can change.

What should I do?

[GingerGuy]

What's something about him that he can't change? Tell him if he loved you, he'd change and see what he says. It's about accepting the other person the way they are and he's not doing that. Honestly, it's enough to rethink the relationship. Doesn't sound like the right guy for you at all. This is you, you aren't changing period, so can he accept that and love you anyway? If not, bye bye! Seriously. If his attitude doesn't change, this will eventually come between you, love him or not. You'll probably in time end up resenting him for it, and then wonder why you wasted all that time with someone that doesn't accept you.

[GingerGuy]

Now it's possible like others have said that this is his insecurities talking, and not you personally. He might be afraid you're going to leave him.

[madgoat]

Either it's a committed monogamous relationship or it's not. And if it is, he doesn't really need to be concerned and should trust you.
If you're really bisexual, asking you to change is rather silly and unproductive.
And if he's being that dismissive of a fundamental part of who you are, you can either live with that, or you cannot. Your call.

[Anonymous]

he literally said he doesn't love you they way you are. he's looking for someone who is straight and thats not you and not to mention an outrageous dealbreaker. you need to talk to him and be like im bi and ill always be bi if thats something you can't handle then you can leave. im sorry if you really like him but he is not it. if he is the type of person who bases someones character off from their preferences.

[OlderAndWiser]

What he is really asking is whether you can be happy with just him and not being with a girl ever again. Your answer told him that you cannot change that way for him. What do you think you should do?

[HighValue]

In my opinion I don't think bisexual people can stay faithful long term. they always feel like they are missing out on something.
The only suggestion I have is try not to fantasize or consider other women at all if you can help it so you won't be as likely to get urges to be with one if you want an exclusive relationship to work.

[kaylealealea]

you're homophobic for thinking that

[HighValue]

@kaylealealea You must be liberal because you use the illogical "phobic" label for most things when someone's opinion isn't exactly the same as yours. No intelligent conversation, no logical reasoning or statements, just resort to name calling as usual.
I have never known any bisexual people to have an exclusive relationship for 10+ years.

[Andres77]

@HighValue
@kaylealealea
How about Highvalue, you read through my response and our interchange.
Kay, he's thinking SOME of what I was thinking and maybe didn't clarify his point so... I don't think he's homophobic.
I humbly ask, high, to read what I wrote and what she responded.
That might clear up her position.
Please, just try.

[kaylealealea]

@Andres77 @HighValue @Bklynbadboy12 I'm bisexual and i've stayed faithful before, obviously it hasn't been that long since I'm young but I've been ok staying faithful. a guy actually cheated on me so yeah, i don't think it's the girls fault and all of my bisexual friends have stayed faithful so i don't know where you're from but over here we're faithful. a sexuality doesn't change how much someone can be faithful to another.

[ChrisMaster69]

If he can’t accept you as you are, then move on, he’s not worth your time and simply does not understand sexuality.

Next thing he will be suggesting conversation therapy.

you can’t change how you are, suppressing it is wrong for a load of reasons.

I would say he accepts you (which it does not sound like, as he’s said he does not or cannot love you) or you move on.

moving on is the only option really.

[Andres77]

Regardless of sexual orientation... if you're with someone doesn't being faithful count for something?
Or does being bi automatically give you a pass to have a girlfriend while you're with your boyfriend?

[Andres77]

Ok... reading some of the other comments... if ur bi you can cheat on him with a girl and because that's your sexuality you can cheat as long as it's with girls?
What if you become emotionally attached?
Is it now polyamory that he just needs to accept because it's your sexuality?
So he might love you but he has to share you and he doesn't have a choice... because it's your sexuality?
Is monogamy a sexual preference?
So if I want to fuck around then I'll just claim it's My sexuality. I'm non monogamous. So I can fuck anyone and not be held accountable for cheating because it's my sexuality.
I don't care what your sexuality is.
If you're in a relationship with someone then you have a partnership with that person.
Work it out with him.
Be with him or leave him.
Don't use "it's my sexuality" as an excuse to cheat.
If that's the case then all the unfaithfulness throughout history is turned on it's head because you maybe wanted to cheat because it's your sexuality.
If he's okay with polyamory, fine.
If not... you choose him or you leave him.
How the fuck are all the self righteous ass clowns that are going to attack me now justify a bi girl cheating and still talk shit about all the other cheaters?
Your sexuality... fine, do whatever you want but it seems like you're reserving the right to cheat when he wants to be in an exclusive relationship.

[Asker]

Being bisexual doesn’t mean I’m okay with polygamy

[Asker]

Neither does it mean cheating on him with a girl is okay

[Andres77]

Fair enough.
And I wasn't attacking you.
It's some of the other comments that I saw were... not fair in my eyes.
So please clarify, if you love him are you going to be faithful to him?
Then sexuality doesn't really matter if you're exclusive.
I was never suggesting you change your preference but questioning your loyalty.
If you like girls that's never going to change. Expecting you to just stop being attracted to girls "because you love him" is not realistic.
I'm just thinking out loud so if it seems like I'm telling you to do something... I'm not. I'm just trying to understand this.

[Andres77]

Rephrase*, not questioning your loyalty but commitment... nuance but...

[Asker]

I don't know if he understands I’m still loyal because he thinks I’d want a polygamous relationship with him

[Andres77]

Then it all comes down to communication.
As long as ur with him you can be attracted to anyone you like, just don't act on it, regardless of your sexuality.
My guess is that as long as he understands that then you should be fine.
Good luck.
I hope he's understanding.
Take care

[slatyb]

"Doesn't accept your sexuality" ? How can he "not accept it" ? And no, you can't change it. You should dump him and find someone who is capable of loving you.

[qwert1234]

10 months and you did not tell him?
Anyway, either you change or he accepts for what you are. I don't know if you can have a middle ground about this. If one or both of you cannot accept or change, then probably you aren't meant for each other.

[Anonymous]

The most fun I've ever had with women were those that liked other girls. They had an openness and honesty to them that was refreshing. With them everything was all out on the table. And we had a lot of fun.
He should appreciate you're coming out to him and see that honesty as a very good thing.

[Ironic_Method]

Lol you can't change your sexuality even if you want to. Thats like asking him to be gay if he loved you.

[worldscolide]

I don't get it.. You're loyal to him? you don't plan to cheat right? How could this possibly be an issue? My wife is bi..

[cuckold1986]

As a cuckold I just say your boyfriend is old fashioned, my dream is marriage with beautiful bisexual girl and give her freedom in relationship with boys and girls, I believe coukoldism is best way of life.

[Caliguy88]

I don’t think you can not like what you like…. But I assume you are faithful? Why would he care? I wouldn’t at all.

[fred_durst]

dump him?
trying to change people is even harder than moving a mountain , trust me

[WhatDoYouHay]

If he can't accept you for who you are, he doesn't deserve to be with you. He's the one that needs to change sweety.

[noohair]

Find someone that accepts you as you are. F him. You have to change but he does not? Get out.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Which sex do you think you're going to marry though

Now that gay marriage is legal

[Anonymous]

And this is why men don't like dating bisexual women.

[kaylealealea]

why? what's wrong with it?

[bamesjond0069]

@kaylealealea guys love dating bisexual girls if they get to have 3somes. I speak from experience. 😁

[bamesjond0069]

Should be this 😊

[Opinion Owner]

@bamesjond0069 If guys are into threesomes that's a different story. Personally I only want monogamous relationships. I have dated two bisexual girls and both cheated on me with other women. They did not see the problem and didn't consider it to be cheating if it was with a woman, and they could just not see why it was a problem for me. The first one agreed to never do it again but then she did. The second one I broke up with after the first cheating incident. I'll never date bisexual women again and most guys I know feel the same way.

[bamesjond0069]

I think they are just bad girls and you didn't lay down the law. I dont think i ever met a straight girl in my life. I met girls who said they were straight... but after awhile i had them eating another girl out while i fucked the other girls face. Girls have a very fluid sexuality, its emotions that turn them on and any gender or sex can make them feel something. Thats my experience though certainly drastically different than yours. I've never had a girl cheat on me like how you mentioned. Usually girls can hardly get a girl and are thankful as fuck for me to actually pick a girl up for their no game having asses. Lol.

[Opinion Owner]

@bamesjond0069 I think you and I have different tastes in girls, but that's cool.

[bamesjond0069]

Yes. Probably. I usually stay away from the bad girl type for relationships although not for casual sex. I almost exclusively date girls from church. Girls that dont drink dont go to bars as a single... etc.

[kaylealealea]

@bamesjond0069 you're gross

[bamesjond0069]

@kaylealealea thank you. 😂

[Wise4myage]

Tell him to take a hike.

[KrakenAttackin]

He should know that all women are bisexual.

[kaylealealea]

thats not true

[KrakenAttackin]

@kaylealealea Openly bisexual women are usually serious whores. It took a lot of bodies for women to realize they like sex with both.

[Anonymous]

He should break up with you.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Dump him