Are there any good reasons to ever take a cheater back?

[coachTanthony]

Yes of course

Hell Nah

see poll ( I would never cheat on you Coach )

[lightbulb27]

yes, good can come from it... personal growth.

Reference: a leader from church that I used to attend cheated with women (more than one) at church. Note to people... church doesn't mean people are emotionally healthy, it means they recognize they need emotional help and have a helper. In a lot of ways, it is a magnet for ill people which is why I strongly advise anyone putting children there to guard them. This was Christian Evangelical, but any place of power/authority is a risk. As such, people fail. They had kids together.

He was busted, fired from his high position. Pastor is one of the highest failure rates of careers... for good reason. He had to confess his issues and get help for them. He now runs a group for men to help them heal from their inner issues. The wife kept him and they worked through it and are married.

I was a "cheat ee" before I was a Christian, albeit not intercourse but bad enough. I did that out of desperation and selfishness, not good motivations. I had remorse. She wanted to continue relationship, I said no and ended it there on my own accord. Mom didn't approve either, but I knew how I felt. She went back, they had kids, they were divorced years later. She was not trust worthy... I felt sorry for the other guy.

I vow to be committed to my partner, I know the damage cheating does.

Be faithful.

[CuriousJC]

In a relationship you have one chance and one chance only. When you start a relationship with someone that partner puts her love and Trust in your hands, my mother always told me to think before you act so if you find him or her unattractive while being in a relationship then you shouldn't have started the relationship to begin with even if he or she asked you to be their partner. Lucy's relationship is like that game Russian Roulette but instead of a gun is with different women. You find yourself a beautiful girl or a handsome guy (not judging) then someone else crosses your path in your brain spin the wheel to see if you should stay with your partner or focus on that person that walks by you causing you to cheat in the process. I kind of wish there was a law, anyone caught cheating on their partner pays $700 fine and spend two years in prison. That way the victim can think about what he or she has done to their supposedly love partner in the relationship especially when you're married and have children and you just seem to lost the thrill of being in a relationship.

[Sarahr123]

The only women who put up with cheaters are

1. insecure women with low self esteem
2. housewives and women who have no assets or money of their own who are helpless so they have nowhere to go and have to put up with him as he is the breadwinner
3. because they don’t want to break up their family because they think their kid needs the dad there even if they’re fighting everyday and it’s toxic af
4. Because the guy is rich and giving her a luxury lifestyle so she just tolerates it because she doesn’t care about him and only the money
5. a classless person who has open relationships and they have an agreement that the guy or even both can sleep around

So those are the usual reasons

[Jxjxhzh]

I’m a rich guy. This is proof that girls are just after money. I’ve never had a girl care about my money but I know I’m dating it matters a lot to them. Stay single. Women are trash.

[Aerissa_Jade]

@Jxjxhzh I'd be happy with a middle class earner, I won't take a guy that I have to support.

Guys do it too, if a woman is rich men will be more likely to date her and go after her.

[Jxjxhzh]

@Aerissa_Jade I don’t think so. Men chase girls that are hot. Men have more pride in making their own money.

[Sarahr123]

@Jxjxhzh not all women are after money. I have never cared about money. I’m an emotional fool lool I’ll live on the streets with someone if I love them. I am more about the physical attraction.

[Jxjxhzh]

@Sarahr123 but the reasons you gave for a breakup were all money related or almost

[Sarahr123]

@Jxjxhzh I said the women who put up with cheaters tend to do it for those reasons.

I didn’t say all women put up with cheaters or that all women think about money.

Every woman is different.

[Jxjxhzh]

I’m that case a prenup is definitely the only way for a healthy marriage to be successful

[Sarahr123]

@Jxjxhzh well see both the man and woman can sign one but I guess then people will feel like they’re not trusted. You should just act poor and see if someone likes you for you.

[Jxjxhzh]

Girls do like me and I don’t have money written on my forehead

[Cynicaldreamer]

Only if you have low self esteem, or you're desperate for companionship and/or attention.
Or maybe you realized they're truly sorry for their actions, have matured, and are ready to be with you again-

I hope no one's stupid enough to take back a cheater, no matter what their excuse or reason is!!!

Got a kid with them? Child support and visitation. They claim they have changed? Yeah, snakes shed their skin and change too; they're still a snake. You're lonely? Get a dog or cat until you find someone that's not a cheater.

[t-8900]

savage

[Caramalkisses23]

I’ve taken a cheater back out of love… I lived him and was hoping that he would do right. But I learned very quickly that if u continue to accept the behavior, they will continue to do it. Accepting an apology is not enough. I realized that if I would have broken up with him as soon as he cheated- maybe years later we could’ve rekindled our relationship because he would have realized that it was wrong.
I know that sounds stupid but I learned that most cheaters don’t do it to be spiteful, they usually just don’t think it’s a problem. My ex father was a cheater, his cousins cheated on their GF’s. He actually told me that it was natural. However, it was a learned behavior that was accepted by many generations in his family.
So basically- there are not too manys reason to take a cheater back. The only time I would think to take them back is if he really is going to do right and y’all have a family. Which 9/10- he’s may not do right.

[t-8900]

damn his whole family were scoundrels. Glad you got out.

[Diodoro]

I'm not sure there are any GOOD reasons. But there are reasons that will vary case by case because different factors carry different emotional weight to people.

It's on the individual to decide if it's worth it to them or not. Those who decide it is I cannot say they're wrong. But the reality is most people don't look from the outside and have concern for the person that they'll get cheated on again.

Outsiders want their personal sense of "justice" fulfilled. I'm not going to paint their relationship with the brush of what I would consider acceptable for me. That's their choice on how to live their life.

Now if someone who chose to get back with a cheater then tries to complain about certain behaviors to me, I'm going to tell them it was their choice to take them back. Own it.

But maybe that doesn't happen. Some relationships comeback stronger from cheating (rare. And if you're reading this you are not the rare exception)

[Moose304]

Let me speak to some people I know that have been infected by STDs because of cheating partners. Get their opinion about if they would reconcile or not. I don't give a flying damn what anybody's opinion is about life in the 21st century! A known cheater be they male or female is NOT somebody you can count on to be there through the downs of life. I am NOT a licensed mental health professional so I won't start using terms like NPD or BPD with cheaters. They are known liars and are not worth any further time. I have said this many times and will say it again. Reconciliations VERY rarely work for longer than 2 or 3 years, then the relationship either flies apart or the couple develops into roommates. No passion and both are miserable! Kick 'em to the curb! Let me ask you a question! Taking a cheater back is like bringing your trash back into the house! WHY?

[Anonymous]

Only good reason is revenge if your the vengeful type. My ex cheated on me and I didn't even want to bother with the revenge because a child was involved.

However I did know a guy when I was younger that took his cheating girlfriend back, they had sex and he just came real fast, using her for his own pleasure then he ran off with her clothing. Just left her there in the buff for payback. He left her shoes so she could walk down the mountain back to town. No phones back then, pre-cell phone days.

Other than payback, revenge can't think of a single reason anyone would want to take someone back.

Granted it depends on what kind of cheating they did, did they have sex or did they get a bit too emotionally involved with someone but never moved to the next step? there are different levels of cheating and betrayal.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Only for revenge, thus a temporary take back to get back at them.

I wouldn't take anyone back, once a cheater always a cheater. If I ever cheated I would never expect or even try to get him back, just move on.

No good reason to rekindle old pain.

[Heartache0405]

Why would anyone WANT to take back someone who had cheated on them? They’d just cheat again and hurt you again. And again, and again. Let some other unfortunate soul deal with that and find out what it’s like to be cheated on so that they can stop dating and focus on themselves

[Vanella]

There are some reasons I'd take back a cheater. When they claim it was "just a mistake" or that they "didn't mean to do it" its a hell no for me. But if that person was really struggling with something like (for example) their sexuality or another deeper issue, I'd see if there would be a way to get trough it together.

[Rob596]

My older brother cheated on his wife four times, but she always took him back. I feel sorry for her, but my brother was just a ladies man lol. He’s not a bad guy at all, but he doesn’t care to do that stuff anymore. And their relationship is stronger than ever now after being 16 years with her. So if my brother can change, I believe it can work if you really want it too.

[Carolmille]

A one night stand if he’s gives good sex and you are horny.

If he’s now got tons of money and you are a gold digger.

If you found out you were pregnant and you are a religious person who neither believes in abortions or not being married to the father of your kids

[NathanDavis]

hmm, not for me... I don't think so

but I have to consider that there's "levels of cheating"

I know it's always bad but... there's definitely worse and worst and beyond wtf...

so I guess there must be certain circumstances in which some couples could get through it and reconciliate... for example... maybe both cheated at the same time? they both regret it? they both move on... and their relationship ends up good again? just an example

[sufys12]

I'm not going to attempt to keep a partner after such an event as it generally ruins the relationship. You know that the partner was sexually dissatisfied or was generally unhappy with the relationship which already would indicate a break up so an intelligent individual would not waste their time on a relationship which has run its course.

[Alyssa11]

I have in the past and he cheated again so I left him. But I can’t judge anyone I think it’s completely contextual. I appreciate high value men who would never cheat on their partner because they are confident in practicing self control however.

[Assi2k]

Massive self growth and devotion to the relationship and you.

[DonkeyDan]

Seriously can't think of a reason to take cheater back.

[Guardian45]

I want to say Yes, but I fear I would say No. Many years ago, a girlfriend cheated on me. I made up with her, and we continued to date for two more years. I eventually left her different reason. We have remained good friends and is now happily married. But still something changed after she cheated on me. Perhaps it was the death of pure new love. I don't know what, but something was different afterwards... Cheating does that!

[Anonymous]

I can only speak for myself as I've talked to others on this site who forgave their partners for cheating and moved on. I personally believe there are some mistakes you just cannot make in a relationship and cheating tops them. I just don't know how you can cheat on someone and then say " I love you" and be believable again. I would never cheat becauseI know it's something I could never forgive of a partner of mine.

[somesoul]

I took mine back. Because I broke up for it and he still kept coming back , after breaking up I let him know that I slept with someone else on purpose. And I think it's long distance so may be it's okay to cheat.

[t-8900]

Did it in the past, learned the hard way, mistakes were made. I believe they CAN change but they 1) Require lots of time and self reflection and 2) Dont serve that chance with YOU, the one dishonored and backstabbed.

[abby17dmv]

I mean I think it depends but before you break up with a cheater always give the person a chance to explain themselves and what always helps is to talk it out.

[Juan_Curious]

A very good reason is taking the freedom to cheat on her, too. I would also arrange threesomes and stuff like that with her if she'd like it. I would propose it to her, and if she liked the idea I'd take her back.