If your boyfriend or girlfriend sleeps with someone else while you two are broken up at the moment and you don’t, would you feel betrayed?

[Anonymous]

[lilyanony1]

I have been the person that ended a relationship, then after a few months started dating other guys. Only to find that maybe it doesn't quite work out, then my ex comes back again. And I'm talking about months of no contact. At some point he even went as long as a year. And because the love was so strong I tried to work things out. But he was hurt.
Explaining that actually he felt betrayed because I got with someone else.
But I don't see the logic.
We were done. Maybe for him he can't see the reason why I went out there so quickly but I was a highly sociable person and meeting lots of new people practically everyday.

Although I wasn't the type to have one night stands if I met someone and it felt like we had a connection I went for it because well I actually wanted to be in a relationship.

Some people date just to have fun. But I was getting myself out there to start the life I wanted with someone.

His blowing hot and cold left me miserable. He wanted me but didn't want it to be "serious" even though we been doing the same dance for 10 years.

One day someone has to give in. And unfortunately I couldn't keep waiting for his ass to finally decide that now was the time he was going to commit to me.

If we exclusive that cool but when the person turns around and tells you they wanna keep things casual they're just playing games.

[Shamalien]

Sleeping with someone right away is the exact opposite of what you do if you want a serious relationship in my opinion. Little known man secret here but if you do that it’s very difficult for the man to fully commit to you

[lilyanony1]

I don't sleep with a man immediately. I simply said I start dating someone after a few months. Sleeping with a person is when I feel I know the person well enough that may or may not be date 3 or so

[Shamalien]

in my opinion I think people who sleep with someone after only meeting them a few times are absolutely nuts and it’s a massive red flag. You know barely anything about a person after 3 dates. I know people think this is normal but it really shouldn’t be. I won’t sleep with someone until at least a few months when I feel like I know them well and we’ve had std checks

[lilyanony1]

Well that's about personal choice. I can also say that bar one person the other guys I knew before dating them. They were mutual friends and we had socialised with mutual friends and or work colleague that I worked with for a year then dated a few months before I left. Its all about personal choice and what I did in the past is what I did in the past. There's absolutely nothing that I can say to you to make you think of me differently nor would I want to. The benefit of this is we don't have to date each other and that's the beauty of life.
It really is what it is!

[Daniela1982]

If you are broken up you are no longer an item so all bets are off. If it was just a time out to re-evaluate your relationship with the goal to work things out and give it another go, then that I would classify as cheating. In that case I would make the break up permanent. But that's just me. Some will take them back anyway because in their eyes it is better to have a cheater than no one. Doh!

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. Jazz getting thrown out of the Banks residence.

[ohshee]

Of course I would I'm human but at the same time I have to stop and say thank you for showing me exactly who you are and what you're all about and I'm looking for something better than that because I'm worth that and I hope you can feel the same way I hope you do the same thing I did walk away
That was his moment in time to prove to you how much did he cares for you by not doing what he did well you can see how much you cared and I guarantee you is manipulation is already started try to get you back but I will tell you what you taking back he's going to do the same thing over and over

[MrOracle]

I don't do that "break up and make up" nonsense. I tell any girl I'm with that she can leave the relationship at any time - the exit door is right over there, but know before you use it: it's a one-way door, and once you walk out of it, there is no way to ever get back in.

If you want to have messy relationships - breaking up or "taking a break" and that crap, then you're always going to have messiness. I don't play that game. I'm an adult, and I expect her to be an adult and to treat our relationship like it has adult importance.

[Daniela1982]

I'm glad you made that pic in living color.

[MrOracle]

@Daniela1982 I see what you did there... :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Betrayed no.. Just no longer interested and wouldn't go back to them...

[ZackBan]

Damn I expected better from the gag community especially the older demographic.
If you're broken up that means you're single how is it a betrayal?
And what does that mean "broken up for now"? Did you set a deadline to this breakup? Because that's not how things work.
If one or both of you need some time off you do it but you don't break up, it means you're still a couple you're just not seeing eachother on the regulat for a while to detox some bad stuff, in that case yeah sleeping around is still cheating.
But if you explicitly broke up and reverted back to being single then everything goes and no one owes the other anything.

[Anonymous]

This actually happened to me. About 12 years ago, my then-bf broke up with me for a couple weeks. A couple weeks later, he called apologizing and wanting to get back together. I agreed. We had sex, and I ended up getting a freakin disease from him. Luckily, it was curable, but what a piece of shit he was for not even bothering to tell me. Apparently he slept with someone else while we were broken up. Now, I don't do the on-again off-again thing anymore. I think a "break" might just be a loophole for them to sleep with someone else and say it's not technically cheating.

[Rob17792]

ewww gross

[St37xy11]

This happened to my brother. Dated a girl for 5 years I think. They broke up and she slept with this guy that he kept warning her about that she thought was a friend. He kept telling her the guy was into her. Well she slept with that guy. My brother felt very betrayed and definitely her decision severed ties. I don't get it. I choose to have very low expectations of people so if you guys are going to break up don't expect them to take your feelings into account still. That's just common sense to me.

[loveslongnails]

No -- if you're broken up, you're not together anymore, or then what would be the difference in feelings if you were NOT broken up? LOL If you're broken up, how do you know it's "at the moment" and only temporary? That's called a time out, and if you don't specify that you're having one, it's a break up !

That feeling of betrayal is nothing more than you wanting the other person to have missed you enough, or regretted the break up enough, to still be miserable. When you hear he/she is sleeping with someone else, you feel angry that you've been so easily replaced sexually, and so quickly.

[t-8900]

Yeah I would think she broke up just to find a reason to have sex with another person. Like the break up was doneo n purpose. We would never get back together after that. She can go be with the other guy, cya. I don't date people that sleep around that easily anyways.

[TruthBringer]

It would only validate the break-up even more. If we break up, whatever she does is none of my concern. Just as I have. No "break" and then getting back together. If it's over, then it's over. I don't look back when breaking up. I move on with my life and find a better person.

[NHI2017]

No. If we are broken up,
and . She bangs another guy.
she's fair game,

If you think you can get in her pants you go for it.

i dont blame her or him,
and if we got back together. It is what it is,
it happened and so what.

[The_sweet_brat]

No. If you two broke up, then that gives both people freedom. If you feel betrayed, perhaps you haven't fully found closure in your relationship, or perhaps you don't want to. And for many people that is totally natural and over time it gets easier. 🖤

[rachel776]

if i did it on a break it wouldn't mean i don't love my boyfriend anymore, the new guy could even be comforting and help with the hurt of the breakup, so if my boyfriend did it i would think the same thing and be open to getting back together if things went that way

[Aerissa_Jade]

Betrayed no, but that would pretty much ruin any chance of getting back together.

Some people will cause a fight and then breakup so they can do what they were thinking about, then want to come back.

How would anyone know if that would happen in the future, could they constantly create drama to have a fight to walk out, sleep around then come back and try to get together?

The pattern is set.

I wouldn't go sleep with another guy, unless I was never going back.

[hahahmm]

Uh, if we're 100% broken up then I'm moving on and not thinking of her as my girlfriend. If it's more of an argument and time apart that's different. In that situation I'd think she's saying she's not into me enough & it's time to make the break permanent. Why would she even let me know she got with another guy except to send me a message.

[MissStrawberry912]

Well “broken up at the moment” means it’s not a real break up, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings… so of course it’s okay to feel the way you do! I’d definitely be upset and hurt. I don't know the details but I don't know if he’s worth returning if he’s already hooking up with another person.

[Miristheiss]

If it was a very short break up... day or week or 2... I wouldn't want her anymore.
I move on.
If it was a year long break up... probably ok... if she had a boyfriend.
Hook ups... kink... threesomes or anythimg like that... no I don't want her.

[Heartache0405]

I don’t date or have relationships anymore but if I did and they wanted to take a break, I don’t do breaks. Either you want to be with me or you don’t. There are no breaks. If they wanted a break I’d assume they didn’t love me as much as they claimed and I’d leave

[CallmeTheKnight]

If you're broken up, then what they do is not your business. They're single as well and you can do as you please while single. Doesn't make it wrong, but I see where you are coming.

Now if you're talking about a "break" then your basically broken up as stated earlier. No one is committed to you if you're broken up.

[Anonymous]

People feel betrayed in that situation because the other person was "supposed to be heartbroken and waiting for me to come back". The breakup was a power tactic to let them 'see what they're missing', but instead they went on their way, so now you don't feel as important as you thought you were.

It's called narcissistic injury. You are not, in fact, the only woman in the world. Get over it.

[t-8900]

She could have been the one to break up with him as a way to go try other guys and leave him on the backburner as an insurance policy. Such people are no girlfriend material anyways. They lack basic human empathy and dont deserve love imho.

[Asker]

@t-8900 The guy I’m referring to, I had no other choice but to leave him because he had been physically abusive toward me for a year. I spent a year leaving and always going back. I love him to pieces, I care about him deeply but he just causes me so much pain in that aspect. Recently, I have been gone from him for a month. I changed my number, blocked his social media, not because I fell out of love but as a way to heal from what he put me through. Yesterday, when I asked this question, he messaged me from a new/different Facebook page, he was blocked on his original one, asking to speak to me. He said he wasn’t asking for me to come over, forcing me to be with him again and that he just wanted/needed to talk to me and hear my voice. Horus later he pulled up to my house and we talked for awhile in his car. He opened up to me about admitting to needing help, that he’ll get the help he needs for himself and for me to one day forgive him and how he apologizes for all the hurt he caused. After all that he out of the blue asked me had I been with any other guys since I left a month ago and I told him I haven’t, which is the truth I haven’t been with anyone else. He then tells me he has but only because I had him blocked and he had no way to contact me and because he has needs then he proceeded to say he was happy I didn’t sleep with anyone and said it would have broke him if I told him I had did the same thing even though we weren’t together and proceeded to ask me if I felt betrayed by him sleeping with other women while we were and still are apart and I didn’t know how to answer because we weren’t together and I knew exactly why we weren’t together and I know despite everything I did/do love him and I wasn’t so quick sleep with someone else like he was but do I really have a right to feel betrayed?

[Opinion Owner]

If you still love him after all that, you're a fool.

[Asker]

Maybe so, but I have told myself I’m not going back. We talked yesterday but that’s all it’s been/was. I think he understands I’m not coming back and I think he is gonna really work on fixing himself for him. It’s really hard to explain the feelings you have for someone who hurt you in that way to those on the outside looking in because if the roles were switched and someone told me they still loved someone who treated them like that I would think the same thing you just said to me “You must be a fool.” But like I always say you don’t really know how hard it is until you’re dealing with that same thing.

[t-8900]

@Asker you need to put the context in the description or we're just going to take a million things away from it. What you lack is self respect tbh. sleeping around and also going back to an abuser tells me you dont have a very high opinion of yourself tbh. You should be fixing yourself, not running into new relationships and sex partners. I mean no offense but your a sad reflection of the state of young people in society today. if you had a strong father figure in your life this shit would never fly.

[Asker]

@t-8900 ummmm I didn’t sleep around, I mentioned that my ex admitted to sleeping around and proceeded with asking me had I done the same in the month we’ve been apart and I told him I didn’t which I truly didn’t. This question came about because he told me he would have been hurt had I told him I had slept with someone else just like he had done and then he asked me if I felt betrayed by him sleeping with other women and I said when responding to someone else under this comment section that I didn’t know how to answer that question because we were apart and I knew exactly why we were apart, I know I still love him despite the reason why we were apart but how can I feel betrayed by him doing something when we weren’t/aren’t even together?

[Asker]

@t-8900 I Don’t mean to be rude but it seems it didn’t comprehend anything I said.

[Asker]

@t-8900 “ After all that he out of the blue asked me had I been with any other guys since I left a month ago and I told him I haven’t, which is the truth I haven’t been with anyone else. He then tells me he has been with other women but only because I had him blocked and he had no way to contact me and because he has needs then he proceeded to say he was happy I didn’t sleep with anyone else and said it would have broke him if I told him I had even though we weren’t together and proceeded to ask me if I felt betrayed by him sleeping with other women.”

[t-8900]

was never in your title WHO slept around. I assumed you as the concerned party would care about self image or something. I don't know why you care about an abusive pos, leave. he's not stopping. this i will go on for life with this dude. run!

[t-8900]

*this will

[t-8900]

"he has needs" lol I haven't had sex in 6 years. I have a high sex drive. But i'm also not trash. leave him, he's a pathetic child.

[Baredog69]

My wife and I were separated which I didn't really know the rules but she said we were just like we were single not married. But I still felt married and she wanted to be free and slept with one of my friends that I've known for 30 years and yeah it felt quite personal it hurt really bad I was depressed for a long time and it took two and a half years to meet somebody that I really like a lot but I'm still in the dreaded friend zone. me.

[Chillerbeee25]

I guess it'd depend on why we broke up, how long it had been, if it was more of a break with the knowledge we would get back together soonish, etc. Either way, I might FEEL betrayed but I also would acknowledge it wasn't an actual betrayal. Really depends on the circumstances though. Like if you felt he didn't really care about you or that he wanted to get with other people while you were together and he immediately did so right after you broke up, that would be a red flag to me.

[Deathly_Pheonix]

You're broken up, what happens during that period is neither individuals business. If you get back together. Then it isn't any different than saying for the first time and learning they have slept with people before. Suck it up