Do you think people with sexist views of the opposite sex can really sustain a healthy, happy relationship?

Question

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

Yes. When we say "sexist", it tends to have a negative connotation, but that is a skewed view. Sexism is simply prejudice in regards to gender. Prejudice is simply categorizing an entire demographic and attributing certain traits or behaviors to that group. The traits don't necessarily need to be negative, abusive, etc.

It could be:
"All women are caring, nurturing and loving beings, that deserve love and respect."

"All men are protective of those they love."

While I don't think even positive sexism is a good thing, I do see how sexist people could have healthy relationships. The reason being they have a strong sense of roles: what the man is expected to do, what the woman is expected to do. Everyone has their place, their role, their duties, and it makes it simple. I would even venture to say for more simple minded people, having prejudices and roles makes their lives a bit easier to manage, since they won't have to do any higher thinking, processing all the "what ifs" that are present when one is more open minded. A narrow perspective makes things more cut and dry; what is right and wrong laid out like black and white.

Again, while this might not be objectively actually "right and wrong", within the framework of a relationship, it allows the participants to be more secure and clearly define their roles/expectations.

RolandCuthbert · Accepted Answer

Of course. They just find women who agree with them. Many women have no issues with the "trade". It depends on the society you are in. I know in many societies women trade their rights for imagined protection or status. They may not have access to every right or liberty. But they have some insulation from other issues in society that may or may not be real.

I think the funny thing is, western societies are so backwards and nonsensical about women's rights. You have men who are angry about women moving up in society, when it was the assault on the family that caused this in the first place. If we had only guaranteed that a man could support an entire family on a working man's salary alone. . . . WOMEN WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD TO SEEK CAREERS.

It is just so stupid to hear men whine about this crap. But our society is so racist and sexist, it is too irrational to seek common sense solutions. We wouldn't have a society full of broken marriages, single parent families, etc.

I am a firm believer in traditional values. But I am also a realist. We are much too stupid to figure the way out of this jungle we created. We are failing in moral/ethical values, education, common sense, science, democratic principles, freedoms, rights,. . . every thing is falling apart.

nice-girl · Accepted Answer

I think they can. What came to my mind when I saw this question is if they can raise children of the opposite sex more then have a healthy happy relationship.
For example, a father who is sexist and talks to his daughter saying sexist things against women. Or the opposite, with a mother and a son.
Most of the time, those people don't have bad intentions. They are just their opinions and points of view.
Sexist people are used to always be "on guard" about the opposite gender, but if they have children of the opposite gender, is the real test for them.
Most of the time they are just scared people.

SecretsofKB · Accepted Answer

No. I don't think they can, personally. You need to have respect for your partner, and if you have sexist views of whatever sex you are in a relationship with, you obviously don't respect that person in some regard either.

Someone in this relationship is going to be unhappy.

AmandaYVR · Answer

If both parties have them then yes. If it's one-sided, not really. It can hobble along but probably won't be that fulfilling for the other.

Joshua_L_Blackmon · Answer

what she may have meant was, do you think people with virtues can have a healthy relationship.. People call me sexist when I prefer women who don't sleep around.. the failure is I AM not judging people.. if you feel judgement maybe you shouldn't be into virtuous guys who don't sleep around and likewise don't want to sleep around. I think that its realistic to look at the reality of the sexes.. NOT sexist. the reality of the sexes is both men and women want kids, (in general) and biology kinda cucked women on a time limit.. thats fairly brief , I think 27 ,28 ,29 , 30 year old women are intelligent. depending on the women I might go for it. but basic bio , is the reason I don't , and thats for most men. The odds are someone thinks well i am objectifying women.. when I know the reality.. I am expected to have a decent to high paying job and the longer I wait the higher paying job I can have, and the higher the pay the less likely a women is making more than me, and there is nothing wrong with that, except evolution to women says the women is not dating up if she dates someone with less pay.. THAT is not sexist. that is literally the functionality of men in the world to provide. so men who wait tend to have better women , not just attractive. If you lived in Louisiana you would be a sexist too , they had very attractive 26+ year old women asking where are all the men.. I did my whoring around in my early 20's.. oh.. they are fucking the whores in Louisiana with 20+ counts at the age of 19 . Thats where they are.. , but I digress even my ex said that the average female was gullible and believes all kinds of bullshit.. like the pronoun shit.. She was Bi , pro lgBT type shit.. BUT she was WAY an anti feminist. Fuck yeah i loved her brain. . I like a little realism in my life. I dated a women who said... you can't talk about this or that.. i was like.. uh bye. its simple.. I am a very real minded person.. I am soft with the people I love, but I am still gonna be down right honest. If im not allowed to be honest.. then there is no reason for me to be here. SO you should be specific with your question then.. Because what some people call sexist is sexist and what some people call sexist is just base reality , 50% of Louisiana women are whores.. and if you disagree with that.. you would be offending them.. they are whores. they love dick they say it all the time.. infact fuck you for not being a whore is the attitude they would have. . my God my sister admits to raping her husband. . jokingly. and she has a high count. so I am happy finding something genuine somewhere else.. and I suppose its gonna be like 10% of women that i would actually care to like.. Mainly the ones who are passed up because some dumbass saw a big ass and thought that was better than love. and there's nothing wrong with beauty.

Adonis7 · Answer

Yes if they love the person and are moved for a change.

But it depends on the quality level of the individual.

A valuable woman knows that to sustain a valuable man in their life, they must continue maintaining the value worth, and must bring such value to the table.

And a invaluable man likewise also knows they must maintain a valuable masculine frame, that sustains and maintains a woman who is worth it.

But people of low value don't understand this and also can't attract anyone valuable in their life. There are some exceptions. But for the most part they attract who they are and they will stay stuck in a bad view of the opposite sex and it will affect their relationship.

But no matter what value a person is, something that cannot be measured with any value measure stick, which is love, love will change an individual and take them to the destination they need to go to maintain that love. Some people may be mature enough to manage that love while others are trying to learn how to be valuable people so that they can maintain such beautiful love they're experiencing.

This is just my opinion, but my opinion will hit deep because a lot of people know exactly what I'm talking about.

Just because someone messes up it doesn't mean that they haven't loved the person. They just don't know how to manage the love burning inside them.

Everyone can agree that sexist views are not healthy and are toxic though. But a person can change if they are in love. But if they are not in love but still care about their partner, then, there is a possibility for Change and compromise. However if there's no connection whatsoever in an emotional level, physical level, and a mental level, then they will begin to destroy their relationship.

Lliam · Answer

Healthy? No.
But I suppose if might be possible for two people to be happy in a sick kind of way if one of them had low self esteem and didn't mind being treated as inferior. In that case, though, the dominant one might be happy, but I don't think a person who thinks they are inferior is happy with themselves in general. So it wouldn't be what I would call a happy relationship. It would be more like two people satisfying some need.

A happy, healthy relationship is an equal partnership in which two people respect each other.

Datboi65 · Answer

If by sexist, you mean a man who thinks women are useless, then yeah he can't maintain a good relationship, since that thought will cloud his judgement on what to do, and always assuming the worst. However, if you mean "sexist" as in believing that gender roles are good and that men and women are different and they are better at certain things, and compliment each other without having to compete for the same stuff, then that person is not sexist, he just doesn't follow feminism and is a traditional masculine provider who can maintain a healthy relationship.

NathanDavis · Answer

maybe?

many of them just want a "weak-minded" person by their side that doesn't confront them and submits to the way they see things and that's probably their idea of happiness

and then yes, you see couples around that fall into that kind of dynamic... I guess it's their version of happiness

Adam_INTJ · Answer

What society thinks is sexist, others think is normal or desirable.

A classmate of mine expressed that she'd like to be a stay at home mom and "stay in the kitchen." If her boyfriend holds the sexist view that women should be forced to do that, then it won't impact their relationship. In fact, it may be a net positive, because it aligns their view of what each other should be doing.

Now sexism that creates only negative feelings about the opposite sex will cause the relationship to fail, because you'll just end up hating the other person too. It's kind of like adopting a dog despite hating dogs.

Depends on the sexism
Depends on the people

spuitkaas · Answer

Even as a feminist, I would say yes, because if they have the same beliefs and are truly happy with the assigned role they're in then yes. It also depends on what you call healthy. I think it's a subjective term. If healthy means consentual and both parties feel fulfilled and happy, then yes I think it can even be healthy.
I would say though that this is extremely rare. You would have to find a woman being completely content with being subjected and being inferior to her husband. I don't think many women would subject to that if they knew better.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely not. There wouldn’t be a balance or respect for each other I mean it’s 2021 almost 2022 we’re practically living in the future. Sexism, misogyny, chauvinism, just wouldn’t work I mean our beliefs have changed within time and it’d just be too difficult to sustain a relationship with someone who just doesn’t have the same views as you (toxicity). Plus, that person would forcefully have to change because the algorithm of our own society is evolving every single day.. unless he time traveled to the past to find a partner (which that would be CLEARLY impossible) .

InventorofWarp · Answer

No.
I've met two kinds of Feminists: Rational and irrational.
Rational Feminists are absolutely lovely people to be around. Logical, reasonable, recognize the struggles that men go through and don't try to diminish them while also still not minimizing their own in the same breath and recognizing that every man was a little boy once and was likely hurt just as badly by just as many hurtful women in his life.
Irrational feminists... aren't.

I greatly enjoy the company of the first type.

ohshee · Answer

I would say it depends on the two people but I would also say no if you notice on here there are many guys that just hate women I don't care what the girls say to them do for them they still hate women and that's just sucks because if it wasn't for women we would all still be cavemen wearing no underwear with the chicken bone in our hand and scratching our ass with the other hand s a y i n g dude have you seen my car

NamerOfStars · Answer

I think it depends on what they are. Someone who thinks "Women are happier in the home than in the workplace" will probably be okay with someone who feels similarly; someone who thinks "Women are intellectually stunted, overgrown children" is going to have a harder time of it.

Cherry234 · Answer

I don't believe they can. If they have negative views of the opposite sex then they would be a drain on their future partners and they wouldn't want to deal with that and would just eventually break up.

Medicalbug · Answer

People can do what they want in their relationships. As many people have said here, depending on its use, something that feels sexist to one person does not bother another. I generally call it sexism if something is applied to an entire gender and has the potential to discriminate if incorporated into the framework of our society. It has afflict everyone as a generalization.
So, if you and your partner prefer to live in traditional roles, I am 100% on your side, as it is your right to choose and I don’t see your happiness threatening anyone. People are allowed to be different.
Only if you meet me (a stranger) and expect me to be like your partner or go as far as demand I change, will I call it sexism.
I say to each their own, so if you’re not hurting anyone, you can choose to live as you want.

Massageman · Answer

There's a whole pile of stuff that could be unpacked here, most of it unnecessarily so.

Key to the problem is the notion that the differences between the two sexes are inherently sexist, useless and harmful. They are none of these.

Let's look at those nice little washroom signs. For years, people clamoring for "equality" , "equity", whatever, demanded "unisex" bathrooms. Well, that is what they had for centuries- unisex, as in ONE sex. What they wanted in their little "reality" was PAN-sex or OMNI-sex bathrooms. And just as many can't discern the difference between unisex bathrooms and omni-sex bathrooms, I doubt that many could even give a decently understandable discourse on sexual differences vs sexist "views". But , you knew that.

ChiTown33 · Answer

A very good question @brainsbeforebeauty. I think we have to first look at word sexist. The truth is feminism has overhyped the word. I'll be the first person to say women DESERVE equality. Equality doesn't mean just the advantageous parts lol. But the problem with equality comes the reality that there will be certain things that men and women will likely NEVER be equal at. Men have their tendencies just as women do. To ignore that is to ignore reality.   I could elaborate but some might call me sexist.

jaybee281 · Answer

Well only if their partner or potential partner somehow agrees with their sexist views - also I truly think what some people might view as utterly sexist might be viewed as normal or "okay.." by a partner that really likes the person - Especially when dudes don't practice what they preach and I'm glad they don't (Like he says girls are not logical then asks his girlfriend for advice and likes having intellectual conversations with her) - Same goes for girls (all guys are jerks and liars and pigs then she falls in love and truly loves him).. That's the only way I see this happening - Imagine how non existent these people's romantic lives would be if they practiced literally what they preached..

CaptainOverthink · Answer

- Sometimes their sexist views comes later in the relationship.
- Sometimes it's not like they express sexist opinions and enforce them on you. Rather they keep it to themselves.

What I am saying is that it depends but that is true for everything.
It's not always apparent who is what.. I think this question is posed in regards to the way sexists push their opinions online. Online arguments are not indicative of how sexist men behave IRL, very few things said online are a true reflections of who they are in reality.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think it heavily depends on your definition of sexism and the amount of it.
There is sexism that effects a relationship less than other. Sexism that involves hobbies or activities would cause less harm than sexism in aspects of personality or character.
Therefore it can be said in general from my point of view that people with sexists view can´t have healthy, happy relationships.

Diodoro · Answer

Depends how strongly they adhere to their own views in how they carry themselves. Regardless of how anybody feels about it, the communication between men and women is first and foremost sexual in nature. That is primary

If he understands that and upholds his side of things, then his woman is going to be attracted to him regardless of how ever sexist some of his views may be.

People seem to conflate sexism and misogyny. They're not the same. I'd actually argue that there are more sexist people with healthy relationships that last than others that are careful not to be sexist.

Bcause they have the important stuff that actually matters most in check. People who actually care about sexist ideas are usually kind of a puss. Just saying

integrale77 · Answer

Depends on the situation e. g. if during there upbringing someone has had very specific ideals impressed upon them and they need with someone who renforces them ideals then it might work

Or in a same sex relationship the couple might share the same sexist opinions... Or not as them opinions might not have any impact on there relationship!

average-j0e · Answer

if they are willing to change and work on them yeah. if both people hold the save views and live their lives tht way then yes. if one likes the feeling then yeh probs. sometimes its not a core value but a way to handle insecurities. if its understood and the care is there then yeah. id recommend against it tho

JCrockett · Answer

It depends on whether the views are sound or not, I suppose. But generally yes. In fact, I don't think you can have a truly stable relationship if both parties don't understand appreciate the innate differences between them.

RoccRaider24 · Answer

No, as they hold extreme high standards of the opposite sex and if one were to find the person that meets that person's standards they would probably take advantage of them. I think typically sexist people are narcissistic and will be toxic to whomever they get in a relationship with.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. In fact I’d go a step further and say that they’re more likely to have happy relationships. If by sexist we mean someone who thinks that the idea of equality is ridiculous.

Men and women aren’t the same, other than effort put into the relationship everything doesn’t have to be equal or 50/50.

A big source of many people’s problems as I see it, in fact for the ones who hate the opposite sex the most especially, is the expectation that the opposite sex be like them. The man-hating feminist want a woman with a dick, a man who thinks and acts like a woman. MGTOW want a man with tits and a vagina. But naturally neither actually fond this attractive even if they find it, so they’re always miserable.

Mswonderous · Answer

Now me personally will not date someone who is sexist but some people are more nonchalant and understanding than I am and will see it as "We might not agree on things but as long as we respect each other and care for each other with no cheating or lies then we could always communicate about things and work it out". I don't know that's just how I see it.

LogicBomber · Answer

I have been with my wife for 10 years and I know how women are. Most people call that sexist but it is simply an understanding of biology.
She has lived up to every concept and standard of female I have had.
I love her and I understand that her actions are biology and not malice.

shaysh87 · Answer

Anyone who thinks that sexist people can maintain healthy happy relationships is a retard. And the only people who marry sexists tend to be other "sexist people".

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

Sure, if they exclusively date people of their own gender.

MountainMike · Answer

The only way it could happen is if the non-sexist partner is submissive. So the sexist partner will be abusive for example a feminist who has a boyfriend or a husband: She will be abusive to him and he will put up with it because he is submissive and/or he is using her for money so he thinks it's worth the tradeoff. The converse is true if the man is a chauvenist.

crmoore · Answer

It seems fairly unlikely. Though I do know some women who kind of like men like that. And you can argue what is or isn't healthy. But those are more edge cases. Generally speaking, I don't see it being a part of a vast majority of healthy relationships.

Nerdvana · Answer

No, How you stereotype people is how you treat people. Men with sexist views are more likely to accept violence against women or interfere with women’s career advancement.

Danisa · Answer

The hold those views because they can't. Hence all their BS projection.

Julielamar2 · Answer

I don't know, anything is possible, I personally couldn't. If the man is really sexist and he thinks that the woman should stay home and take care of the children, and that women are inferior (intellectually) to men, that will be a problem for me.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No, I could not date people who are prejudiced against Females or Males

Andres77 · Answer

How can you be in a healthy relationship if you don't even respect her as a person?

hahahmm · Answer

Yeah, because when you get into a relationship it's with an individual woman Not with the unwashed millions of man hating feminists and professional victims using their vagina as a crutch to keep from taking responsibility for their own failures.

Baredog69 · Answer

In today's time with everyone being offended by something. Who is the judge or the jury that decides exactly what is sexist in the first place. It just seems these days anything you say is sexist racist or xenophobic etc. I guarantee you this statement will hurt somebody's feelings. Get over yourselves.

jsincal · Answer

Not for a long time. The real asshole them comes out and if you’re psychologically weak, you’ll get stuck into this rut of a relationship, that’s the only way it’ll work, if your psychologically weak.

genericname85 · Answer

does being sexist mean "acknowledging that there's differences between men and women"?

notwoke · Answer

plain old facts and the reality of things is considered sexist now, so until we fix that there will be less getting along. I'd go into detail, but somebody will get triggered. I will go as far as to say as long as the affirmative action and the practice of making unlimited special accommodations in order for women to appear successful then claiming "see women are just as strong" is not going to end well

emperor90 · Answer

I think that they can't because a person who is sexiest towards another person they are not likely to stay on

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Yes they can spongy forehead... I'm not sexist at all as you can see, i'm just an innocent man 😇

Wiredone · Answer

I don't know anyone who is sexist so I don't know how to answer this.

Msputiton · Answer

Only if they find someone that agrees with their views, and surprisingly they do exist

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, I do! I actually think it's an asset. Because you're armed with knowledge of how bad the worst of the opposite sex can be, so you're more likely to make a wise decision in choosing a partner.

Anonymous · Answer

Most people are sexist, and they manage. Maybe not the picture of health, but functioning. Everyone knows what they're allowed to say, or not say. Very few are completely 100% open, revealing all of their bad side as well. How could we not be sexist? We have no idea what life is really like through the eyes of the other. We advocate on behalf of what we know, first and foremost.

SupremeWarlord · Answer

They just need to be on the same page, my aunts believe the woman should stay at home and man should provide because the Bible says so, but they are very happy in their relationships.

Djaay · Answer

No absolutely not. That's a barrior that forbids a relationship period.

krin_m · Answer

No, because they start with a prejudiced mind that just causes troubles.

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely not with the opposite sex. How can it be healthy when there are sexist "things"?

Sparks32 · Answer

the definition of Sexism is blurred like the word Racism. if you mean being sexist is believing in old fashion gender roles then yes it can work if both the man and women agree with those values.

JosyJosy · Answer

possible, if the partner agrees or accepting of the other's beliefs

stevef73 · Answer

If they find someone that agrees and submits then yes it would work all be it a unhappy relationship.

Mark987 · Answer

We live in 2021.. going on 2022... That can't work anymore.. we all have to treat gender with equal rights no matter what the topic is.

Anonymous · Answer

I actually think they can if they are with someone with the same values. I wouldn't say thhey benefit society but their relationship and love for eachother can be very real.

ep124 · Answer

Well, it what you call sexist
"Women/men ain't shit" -> no, they peobably won't have a very healthy relationship

"Women in the kitchen/men at work" -> yes, it's possible. As long both agree and are able to jeep their respective role.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Hell they can't even maintain a healthy thought

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I don't know, maybe if the other person agrees with their views...  I've never been in a relationship, so I can't tell

AviatorTom · Answer

Not all sexist views are bad. For example, it's sexist, though correct, to say that only women can give birth.

Do you think people with sexist views of the opposite sex can really sustain a healthy, happy relationship?

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What Girls & Guys Said

To be in a healthy and peaceful relationship or marriage aren't both genders suppose to complement each other?

Do you think people with sexist views of the opposite sex can really sustain a healthy, happy relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

To be in a healthy and peaceful relationship or marriage aren't both genders suppose to complement each other?

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