My boyfriend came out as bisexual, is there a way he can explore his curiosities without damaging our relationship?

[Emogirl999]

My boyfriend has recently come out as bisexual, he has never been with a man and is curious about it but doesn't want to do anything that will hurt me. I just want him to be happy and true to himself even if it means we have to break up. Are there any ways that he can explore these feelings while we are still together or would breaking up be the better option for him? I love my boyfriend and I would love to marry him one day but I don't want him to have any regrets about us. I'm willing to open our relationship so he can experiment if that would help but I have no experience with open relationships and I personally have no interest in seeing someone else. I'd like advice on what I could do to help him or what we can do together to work through things.

[laurieluvsit]

The bottom line is "you have to be OK with it", both now and in the future because if he likes it, he will want more and if you later try to tell him no, it will be only luck on your part if he listens and does start sneaking it. Now that he has told you that, it is most likely to manifest itself that way anyway.

What you might do is let him try and see what happens. He may decide that he doesn't like it as much as he thought he would but if he does like it, than you have to decide for sure at that point if you are OK with it or not. Bisexual guys are much different than bisexual girls since for guys it is almost always just about getting off with not emotional attachment to worry about but Bi or lesbian girls normal have the emotional attachment.

Anyway, hope that helped and good luck Ms Emo!

[Emogirl999]

How I feel is kind of tricky because thinking about it I am okay with it but it's easy to say that now and then when it actually happens realise that I don't like it, that I'm not okay with it. The problem is there is a lot of uncertainty, I don't know how I'll feel about things until they happen and well this is all new to him so he is uncertain about a lot of things. The only thing I'm 100% sure about is the way i feel about him, i do want a future with him and I do want him to be happy, I don't want him to feel trapped because he wasn't able to experience things and figure out his feelings. He was scared to tell me about his feelings because he didn't want to hurt me but I hate that he feels like he is going through this all alone, we haven't discussed everything in full detail yet but we will have to eventually and I want to be able to offer him support and possible options or solutions. He doesn't want to break up but right now he isn't sure what to do about his feelings. Even if I don't really like some of the options or I don't want to break up, I want to do what's best for him and what's best for us in the long run. We can't have a stable relationship if there are any doubts so I want to help him become sure of what he wants, breaking up would probably hurt less than stayin. g together but know he regrets not experimenting, being in a relationship where he isn't sure if he made the right decision to be with me is much worse than not being in a relationship. I'm willing to do what it takes to make things work even if I don't always like it and if in the end things don't work out, at least I tried.

[laurieluvsit]

You seem very understanding, I'm sure it will all work out, not to worry.

[Anonymous]

I am going to get some heat for this. But male sexuality isn’t as malleable as female sexuality. We usually go one way or another. Straight guys might have “bromances” where we idealize bad ass men. I was a 90s kid so I had a huge man crush on Brad Pitt (especially fight club Brad Pitt). But seriously the feeling of doing it physically with any man no matter how badass or attractive gives me a gag reflex.

Chances are your boyfriend is just a closet homosexual if he is thinking seriously about fooling around with another man. Nothing wrong with that. But the fact he said this seriously says ally. Also lots of straight guys joke about being gay but they will never will be. Ever. But that doesn’t sound like your boyfriend.

[wassim97]

Well if he’s bi doesn't mean you have to end your relationship with him or even have an open relationship if you twi loves each other just help him explore his sexuality with you not with someone else its not healthy to bring other people into the relationship it may be the end of your relationship help him I don’t know if you two have sex but if you do maybe get a dildo or a strapon and try new stuff and then he’ll explore new things

[Emogirl999]

I'd be willing to try that if that is something he wants to try, I want to help him in whatever way I can, I want to be with him but I want him to be happy, I want him to be sure of himself and to be sure of us, I don't want us to be together for years only for him to feel trapped or like he made the wrong decision in being with me. I want a future with him and if he wants one with me too then I want him to be sure about it. An open relationship isn't ideal but if it's what he needs to discover what he actually likes and needs then I'll do it. Being with him and him not being sure of us will hurt me a lot more than if we break up or if he sees another guy.

[CallmeTheKnight]

The relationship is already damaged if you have these kind of thoughts. It'll be best if you part ways and get yourself tested. He may not have been with a man sexually or romantically, but HIV/AIDS rates amongst gay and Bisexual men are not a laughing matter.

[foxrider77]

Why don’t you just use a strap and maybe that will satisfy his curiosity. You should get something back in the deal some maybe he does double pen on you.

[Coolj]

We'll have you guy's talked about it? How does it make you feel? What is your gut instinct telling you? Does he make you happy? Do you see a the two of you in the future together?

[Emogirl999]

I've know he was bi before we started dating but he never had urges then he just found guys attractive, I knew he would start to have urges sooner or later so I wasn't surprised when he told me but he only started having urges recently, he told me about them a few days ago so we haven't really had chance to sit and discuss everything yet but he does make me happy and I do want a future with him so if he needs to explore his urges for us to be able to move forward I'm okay with that, I want him to be happy and to be sure about us and be sure about himself. I don't want him to feel trapped just because he is afraid of hurting me. I won't know for sure how I'll feel about whatever we decide to do until we actually try, it is easy to say that I'll be fine with him experimenting physically but if it actually comes to that I don't know how I'll feel, all I do know for sure is how I feel about him and that I want him to be happy. I know that we will have to talk about it and I do want to talk about it with him but he is scared of his feelings because they are new to him and he is also scared of hurting me, that's why I posted my question, when we do talk about everything I want to be able to offer support and possible options or solutions to him so he doesn't have to deal with his feelings alone.

[FakeName123]

Thats what this is for.

[JohnK123]

I don't know why he told u if u two are dating… and something must have happened if he hasn’t been with a guy before ….. I don't know tbh

[2021biguy]

If you want to marry him one day and really love him, don't leave him.

[Anonymous]

I understand his struggles. I wish I wasn't bisexual. It complicates things. And I've already been with guys now so there's no turning back. I hope you two can find a way through this happily.

[Avicenna]

That's up to you, but I don't think it's possible

[swettannie]

just let him try it once or two

[TheBigGuy9]

Depends how open your mind is, but I would say no

[Anonymous]

Why don't you guys try mmf threesome

[Emogirl999]

I've considered that but we haven't really discussed everything yet so I'd like to have a few options to present him with to help him decide what he feels comfortable doing and what he feels is best for him and us.

[LegendaryIcon]

nope