Is it disrespectful if your partner comes back late, you were meant to eat dinner together but now you aren't?

[Anonymous]

So not sure how people will take this one, I'm interested. So my partner has gone out for tea and cake with colleagues, I said ill make dinner and she went yes please for both of us! I'll be back by 5ish, so we agreed to have dinner at 5 ready, so when I pick her up we can eat together.

Later on close to 5 I get a message saying they aren't doing food, and that she had a bad headache from not eating so would have had something there. Food is almost done... and she has changed it from eating together to ill let you know when my colleagues leave and I need picking up.

On one hand I understand its work colleagues and she is going to have cake/tea, on the other hand she has been gone a while and can choose to leave whenever and if we set a time, i would hope that knowing im cooking and we were supposed to eat together she would take that into account... I find it slightly disrespectful, what are your thoughts?

[HollyK21]

Not to discount how you feel, but I’d say to pick your battles wisely and this doesn’t have to be one. I’d understand if she just blew you off — that would be disrespectful. Even if this were a regular occurrence. But at most what she did was a bit rude, since I’m sure it was unintentional on her end and not meant to hurt or depreciate you. I’d say to just let her enjoy this bit of time with her colleagues and brush it off. Food can be warmed later, but if this happens again in the future I’d certainly address it because then it would be a blatant disregard for your time which is not ok.