As a stressed out college student, Is it normal that I daydream about alcohol all the time to escape from the pain of College? Am I an alcoholic?

WhiteBoyChill
I’m under the legal age in my country so I cannot purchase alcohol on my own.

My country forbids me from spending time with my girlfriend.

Yet I’m in college and I’ve been introduced to her by my older friends. It was then I met my first love.

Alcohol is my love my pride and my joy.

She helps me escape my pain. She teaches me to forget.

She gives me comfort in ways no other human person ever could. At times my body feels challenged my her, but life is even more challenging without her.

It’s been over a month since I’ve had her last and I feel at such a loss without her.

If she chooses to take my life when we meet again than so be it. For I am not afraid of death.

But I love her always because she helps me through the hardest of times.

She may come to me in many different forms of substance, but her grace and love is all the same.

I wish to see her again soon but my friends have not gotten in touch with her in a month.

Yet even when I spent my most time with her, it was still only once a week. But her impact and the times we’ve shared together have left such a strong memory in mind that I cannot forget.
As a stressed out college student, Is it normal that I daydream about alcohol all the time to escape from the pain of College? Am I an alcoholic?
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