Can you determine if someone loved you or cared about you by how hurt they were?

[Anonymous]

Can you determine if someone loved you or cared about you by how hurt they were when you ended it?

I ended it because I didn't think she felt the same way. We didn't speak for quite some time. She told me that she never really got passed it and that it badly affected her other relationships.

Is she being serious?

[jennifer_bloom]

I don’t think so cause I did not enjoy being around the last guy I dated but felt miserable when he ghosted me - I was needy for validation and trying to find it in guys instead of trying to find it in God, I would say many people hate rejection because they are insecure and not because they were madly in love with the person who rejected them.

[Espresso-Grande]

I'd assume she's being honest. If she didn't care, it probably wouldn't have affected her other relationships. It would be easier to get passed it if she didn't have any feelings for you

[Asker]

She went into a lot more detail too, about how this has been going on for years.

I'm not comparing how we both dealt with what I did, it's just that a lot of things she told me have happened to me too... especially relationship issues.

She also mentioned that she was worried about what would happen if we did try talking again... and that's probably being afraid I would do it again.

[Espresso-Grande]

Yeah, it's obviously left her with trust issues. It must have really hurt her when you ended it

[Asker]

I realise it really must have. I ghosted her...

[Espresso-Grande]

That's why it'll hurt her even more. She obviously didn't get closure

[Asker]

I know you'll find this hard to believe, but even after all this time a part of me still longs for her.

[Espresso-Grande]

Sometimes we all make decisions that we regret. It'll be hard to build her trust in you again , but not impossible.

[NathanDavis]

I don't get it...


for all the people that I loved and cared for... and they loved me and cared for me


we're still in very good terms, we never hurt each other

love doesn't hurt...

[Asker]

Heartbreak hurts.

[NathanDavis]

yes, but heartbreaks are not love...

[Asker]

Heartbreaks are a result of love (gone bad).

[NathanDavis]

love going bad is no longer love... it is something else

lack of love... that's what breaks your heart

[possumpi26]

You sound like you are taking an extremely manipulative and degrading approach to testing people's emotions. That's really fucked up.

[Asker]

That's really unfair. If you'd know the story, you'd understand better.

[In_Trance]

no..