I think you're really looking at this the wrong way. The fact that he has a past of being in long-term committed relationship, being able to form deep bonds of friendship and trust and... all the things you're envious of... well... you aren't looking at this right!!!
So this guy has this long, close relationship with his ex., THey even have kids together. Ok... well, I don't know what happened between this guy and his ex... but at some point HIS LIFE WAS TURNED ON ITS FUCKING HEAD!!!
It's reasonable to think that, for this guy, he thought he had found the woman he was going to spend his life with. They had built a life together over many years. Well... whatever happened, and now, all of a sudden that "future" this guy had pictured for himself, comes crumbling to dust.
Now, the life he pictured for himself, with his long-term grlfriend. The mother of his children... well that's no longer gonna happen. It's become impossible.
Ok so when this guy, who had plans for the future, that no longer apply... well he eventually decides to "get back out there" to find another romantic partner with whom to (hopefully) grow close with, come to love, and eventually build a life together.
This guy... with a history of long-term commitment, and closeness in his relationship... HE CHOSE YOU!!!
He looked around, and chose YOU (out of everybody) as the woman with whom he envisioned himself forming a loving, close, committed, long-term relationship and the woman with whom he said to himself "THAT is who I want to try and build a life with" "THAT is the kind of Woman I want to be with".
You have no reason to be jelous of the bonds he built with his ex. THose bonds are in the past, and many of them would not have survived the separation. The big difference is that you simply haven't had TIME to build the kind of bonds that can be built over a decade. But there is no reason to think that you wouldn't (won't) have equally strong bonds after being together for more than a decade.
The lesson you SHOULD be taking from your ex's history is: "This is a guy who is able/willing to form deep, long-term bonds, and to commit to a long term relationship. This man knows what it's like to be in the same relationship through good times, and bad times. He chose ME as the woman with whom he'd like to try and form... EXACTLY the kind of relationship you're envious of from his past.
He is NOT thinking about how close he and his ex were. He is looking forward to building something with you. You truly have nothing to be envious of. I hope you can somehow come to see this whoile situation differently. Whjat you have here is "evidence a guy is probably solid"... not something to feel the least bit of negative about. 🙂
Yeah that's tough specially if you're dating him now. Just focus on your relationship with him now and not look back at what thye had otherwise you'll just be focusing on what they had instead of growing with him and becoming better the two of you
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