Do you believe a long distance relationship can work if you're not rich?

[coachTanthony]

It's very hard to see someone if you can't afford it.

Yes

No

see poll ( come see me Coach )

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Having been in an LDR for 3 years over COVID, no. Even if you're well off it doesn't work.

To me, I realized after I broke it off (and as I was breaking it off) that LDR doesn't let me see the other person as they really are. I even lived with him for a month and it still didn't show me how he truly was.

His own incompetence saved me when he was turned away at the border with his UHaul - he hadn't done any immigration work since the first year and he hadn't followed up on any of the info I'd sent him.

His truth after we broke up, which I've heard of and seen through family and friends of his I'm still in touch with, ended up so much worse than I thought. Not only is he a "former incel" (he's sold me on the fact incels never grow out of it), he's gone full conspiracy nut and gained 20 lbs in four months.

LDR might work for others, but personally I'm no longer going to consider them. Too much work, effort, and lack of transparency.

And I'd rather be able to do things with the person I'm dating out of the house. LDR with him? I had to sit at home so often so he could chat with me. It really hampered the quality of my life.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Long distance where you already knew the person, and were separated by school/job/enlisted in army, military, etc... Hard, can put a strain on the relationship, but a chance it'll survive... These long distance relationships where never even met in person, or only once/twice, with no concrete plans to take it from online/video dating to a real in person relationship, yeah no, the majority of those seem to just not work out long term...

[coachTanthony]

True True!

[Anonymous]

I was dating a chic from US she was good initially and then after few months she started acting weird and we broke up. then she messaged me again she wanted to get back and she was harsh and all. I was like enough of it bitchh. I ain't your whore. just ignored her and told her to leave me alone.

If you know the person and she has move to another country then its possible to have a long distance, but if you do not know her and just met her on an app - it won't last for more than few months.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you coachTanthony!

[jhl_x]

No, unless there's actual effort to meet in person and eventually have more frequent physical contact with the person. Most importantly, the same amount of effort from both sides, which is something rare enough. I thought about the possibility with a girl I was talking to a while ago, but it wasn't worth it.

[Pinay_ako]

Yes it can… it happened to me.

[bubblegunnn]

I had a virtual relationship aka ldr before.
Im Asian and he's aussie, its only work for around 20months.. we were love each other and our feeling was genuine, he wanna fly to meet me in person first months we date but the flight cannot fly to other country due to covid, and i understand it..
The point is we cannot date irl and i also thought we never gonna see each other in person, and by the time, my feeling wasn't longer same like before..
So i think it might working if u both can see each other at least few months later to keep the bond still strong like the first u date. Without seeing ur partner irl like my case, i doubt ur relationship gon work, cuz thousand facetiming everyday means nothing if u go to irl date once. Trust me

[TenderFantasy]

LD relationships are hard in general and it really depends on how long you guys have been together. The status of the relationship. all that. Real life relationships are hard enough. Adding distance is ANOTHER bad barrier to the relationship! I've done it before. We ended up breaking up though not JUST because of this but because of many other complicated things. Distance wasn't the deciding factor though, at least not the sole one.!

Your Love, care and trust level has to be really high for this to work. And it cannot be permanent obviously.

[shaysh87]

Long distance relationships are a sham. Because reality is, if you have been long distancing for 2 years and still have absolutely no plans on moving to live together, it means that you don't like that person enough. Long distance is only for people who cannot be together such as being a student at a university where you cannot move. Long distancing for 4-5 years is never anyone's ideal relationship. Its just a temporary fix. But if you want to do it 4+ years and onwards, its not worth your time pursuing. You're better off dating someone in real life. An internet relationship is not a good way to get to know someone's flaws either.

[Midnight_Kiss]

My oldest friend is living proof that long distance can work as long as you're both on the same page.

He met his partner through MSN when we were 14/15, he lived in Yorkshire, England and she lived in East Kilbride, Scotland. They eventually met in person when we were 19 and from that point they alternated their by monthly meets, between Scotland and England, meaning they were long distance except for one week every two months when they would stay at his home or hers. Eventually when we were 24 they decided to move in together and now at 34 they are still together and going as strong as ever.

[FunkyMonkee]

If I would've had the money 16 years ago, I would've been able to help Hope get over here and I'd be married to her and probably have kids with her by now.

[coachTanthony]

Money is important that is for sure.

[FunkyMonkee]

It wasn't just me,. though. I told her that she'd have to buy the plane ticket herself Fr me, it was an issue of finding a way to get to the airport top pick her up once she got here. I don't drive and possibly afford a cab or what have you, to go get her. Or, to even fly over to get her. She would've preferred that because she was too scared to come over and find that I decided not to show up to meet her.

[Dinklex3]

Of course.
You don't have to be rich to make trips every now and then.
A bestie of mine only visits her boyfriend like twice a year.

[coachTanthony]

To me that's not a relationship that's a fling or a hook up twice a year.

[Dinklex3]

They haven't had sex and they talk just about every day.
To each their own

[Catacious]

Unless there is a specific plan to move to the same place, LDRs are doomed to fail no matter your financial situation.

[coachTanthony]

True there has to be an end game.

[erandal]

I am far from rich but for the best part of the first 18 months my relationship with my now husband consisted of a lost of chats on MSN Messenger and text messages between the UK and Mexico. We got to see each other four times, mostly thanks to my sister working for an airline so I got discounted tickets. We have now been married nearly 20 years so yes it can work.

[ShadezMcgee]

I just don't think they would work regardless of one's financial status.

[coachTanthony]

Ok but why?

[ShadezMcgee]

Ok, my belief is you are having a relationship with someone who should be in your life, in this case close by and someone you can see daily. While long distance is a concept one can try, at the end of the day, you are more of a screen or email penpal. You can't be in person together, you can't hug a screen, you need to have good and frequent communication to keep the relationship strong, and st the same time keep things fun and interesting for dates.

Then comes outside factors. Partners can meet other people where they are and take interest and be more tempted because the logistics of the relationship make sense. It isn't restricted and the interactions are more meaningful. Plus there isn't as big a fear as creeping doubt themat your LDR partner won't be swayed or tempted to cheat and you can't figure out if they are as eaisly.

That make sense, Coach?

[coachTanthony]

Yes and I agree. Normal relationships are hard even if you live in the same city less trying to travel along with it.

[midnightmoon05]

@ShadezMcgee
I just answered something similar.

Aside from myself. My younger sister too married. Was in LDR.

Conversations
midnightmoon05
midnightmoon05
Guru
Age 42
, mho 43%
30 min
Met my husband here over 6 years. ago. He answered one of my questions. We just chit chat a bit. We exchanged phone numbers. Didn’t think much. No pictures. Text a bit.
summer comes. I wanted/needed a vacation. He was going to a state for something. I decided to go there since I haven’t been forever… we met to hang out… still haven’t seen my picture.
we had a good time hanging out, exploring that city.

I came home. He was still at his relative. We just chit chat here and there.
next month I decided to go visit since he has two bedrooms.
got there, all well… dinner out. Next morning, I fell and broke my foot into pieces. He became my care taker for over a week. I couldn’t return to work for 3 months. He came help me from time to time. We started to date LD - 9 hrs drive or 1 1/2 hr flight. 6 years. later we just got married 6 months ago.

we broke up for one yr. Because of some very important issues. We had to learn to resolve some things and rebuild trust and love.

things must have.
1. money - to see each other every 3-4 weeks
2. time
3. patients
4. trust, understanding, love, … etc…
5. end goal… one have to move.

[Yu-Mi]

Yes and No. I was in a long distance relationship, my first boyfriend and 2nd one also was long distance, i always tot that love was everything in a relationship but these two relationship proved that love isn't everything, you need money and lots of determination and patience from both sides. So you don't really hv to be rich for it to work but u definitely need those other 2, otherwise u need money as it can make it easy.

[Jamie05rhs]

Sure, it can! Love is a very powerful motivating force. I'm sure I'd find some way to come up with the money.

Besides, you're only long-distance for the initial period when you're still trying to figure out if you like each other and how much. Within 2 or 3 years, someone should be moving to the other person's city.*




*(NOTE: I do NOT mean moving in with them. I do not recommend that at all. That comes much later on down the line.)

[menina]

No, I think long distance relationships rarely work. There are some things that you can't buy even if you have all the money in the world.

[Sour-rose]

maybe if if was 2001. But if you dare have a long relationship now, you might as well just give them your whole bank account because that's what you're probably getting yourself into

[ilgirl89]

Eww, long distance. Never done it but I dont think it'd be enjoyable! 🤢

I don't understand why you'd have to be rich for it to work? One party or just both? 🤔

Ultimately I think it could work.

But I don't see how or why

Anything's possible if 2 people want it

[exitseven]

If it is really long distance like you have to take an airplane to see her you have to be really rich to afford it. If you only see each other once or twice a year it will be very unpleasant and probably will result in failure.

[Carolus]

Can’t unless it’s between people who knew each other before and already in a relationship, example while studying, otherwise finances are required.

[Twalli]

Not indefinitely, but for a time. Before my girlfriend's boyfriend moved back to Texas, she and him lived in Florida and Texas. She saved to be able to afford a plane ticket there and back once a month

[On_cloud_wine]

I would consider if I was a flight attendant.. they get free flights anywhere

[athlete_7]

That age uffffff

[countrygirl8754]

Long distance relationship can work it not about the money at all it just about the love between y'all two