Is there a time limit on how long it takes to fall in love?

[Anonymous]

So I’m almost 27, never been married, I don’t have kids and never really been in long term relationships. I feel like I have a hard time actually falling in love, it takes really long for me to form a deep connection with someone, longer than I feel most people do. The guys I’ve fallen for are usually the ones that don’t like me back, emotionally unavailable guys. Maybe I just haven’t met the right one?

[WonderBell99]

Do you subconsciously gravitate towards emotionally unavailable men? From what I can decipher, it seems like you are afraid of intimacy and romantic relationships, in general.

I have to ask you an important question, how is your relationship with your parents? Were they negligent or abusive while you were growing up?

There is no time limit on how long it takes for someone to fall in love, however, if the person has not developed *any romantic feelings*, not necessarily love, towards their SO even after a year of dating, it's a dead end and I'd advise them to break up.

Do you struggle with low self esteem? Do you fall for these unavailable men in hopes that you can change them?

[Asker]

These are some actually really good questions to think about. I probably do subconsciously gravitate towards emotionally unavailable men with ever really realizing it, not in the hopes of changing these men, I later find out that these guys are not good for me and then I drop them like a hot potato. I think I might have low self esteem issues but I’ve been working on that for a while now. I really do want to be in a good, healthy relationship but I think you’re right about the “fear of intimacy”, I am really careful of sharing certain parts of my self in fear of rejection or something. I’m not exactly sure where this is all coming from.

[WonderBell99]

I think you should work on that, and do ponder over these questions. Do not rush into dating without figuring out what YOU want or expect in your partner. Jot down a list of things that you mandatorily expect in a partner and some things that are not so important and then sort them out. That would be a good start

[LazerBean]

I don't think so. Seems like it gets harder the older people get though.

[A_stranger]

You seem very much like the girl I know. She's never ready for any relationships and feels that she will eventually stop having feelings for anyone.
Maybe just don't look for relationships anyway and enjoy your life. If you ever find someone who feels convincing enough to have a relationship, go for it.
That's a really time taking process but hopefully the guy would be worth waiting.

[jahaims]

I'd say if you have dated for around six months and you aren't in love then it probably isn't going to happen.

[maximumpower]

No time limit.
Worst thing you could do is rush into a relationship to satisfy your personal biological clock or cave to societal/peer pressures.
Some people never get there. In some cases that's actually a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Some people just never find that right person.

[Asker]

That’s sad.

[Sonalsharma25]

Keep looking sis. Hope you may find someone soon

[Iron_Man]

Anything past a year is very hard

[Asker]

I dated a guy for a little over a year, I had to break it off because I didn’t really have feelings for him. I felt bad for leading him on but I was confused about my feelings. I had the same thing happen to me with another guy. It sucks.

[Iron_Man]

Oh wow