My parents just celebrated 30 years of marriage and I wonder how they could’ve made it that long without becoming Unattracted to each other. I feel like being with someone for a while it’s kinda inevitable for someone to lose attraction.
If we are talking about marriage, if the partner is still young and very sexually active, then it's a valid concern. But if you're in your 40s-50s complaining, you need to understand that there will always come a point in life where you will no longer be attracted to your spouse. Nobody looks young, hot, slim and sexy forever. When you're in marriage, you took an oath to stick to each other for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. It didn't say I will divorce when you no longer look hot like you used to. Throughout the course of marriage, you and your spouse will eventually lose your looks. Weight gain from pregnancy, weight gain from the stress of raising children. Hair loss and balding in men due to age. You really need to look into the reasons why you were with your spouse to begin with.
If it is a boyfriend /girlfriend relationship , you can break up for any reason. There is no rule. Nobody would ever know if that relationship had genuine love to begin with.
Definitely time to end the relationship. It doesn't matter how long you've been together or how imperfect you are... you should always be attracted to your SO for who they are.
A lot of guys are good at making themselves unattractive. They ask stupid things. They don't lead real good. They too much to make his woman feel special and gets turned into the door mat.
There is a lost art of making a woman feel secure. It's not about frame. It's about taking initative. It's about being territorial in the relationship and not reactive when he hears stuff he doesn't like.
He also needs to know how to maintain boundaries and tell her no, and when to send her away. If guys would stop being his woman's best frisnd, especially early on in the relationship would solve a lot.
Sone guys don't know what they look like, and don't understand why their women cheat and leave them? Women will never admit it, but they like masculine energy. Even those blue-hair feminist that like to bag on guys.
Even the most physically attractive person will be less physically attractive to you over time, because you see that person every day. This is just a law of life. Everything gets boring after a while, which is why time apart is so vital. The key with time apart is for both people maintain their sense of self, which allows the time apart to come naturally. Next, lasting relationships are built on a solid foundation of trust, love, and commitment, because the benefits of having someone of the opposite sex that that deeply understands you, is what allows someone to love you deeper than youve ever imagined. Two people that genuinely build this experience together, will fall in love over and over again. And that's why it lasts. Congrats to your parents 👏🏿
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ouch 😣. I’ll either let them go or fight to keep them if it’s still worth staying. But you can’t keep someone who’s already gone. Attraction is shallow tbh. If you love someone truly, you’ll love them unconditionally, flaws and all. But that’s just nowadays a fairy tale. Cinderella ain’t real and my knight in shining armour is wrapped in tin foil. There’s no happily ever after. But you try to be happy even life hits you in the face!
The way I see it is the wife becomes the best friend and not the sex partner after decades together and you would stay loyal to your best friend, so you would stay loyal to your husband / wife.
Its easy to maintain attraction if both people keep up appearance and workout and occsionally dressup. But thats also a lot of work lmao. If someone said they were no longer attracted, im not gonna fight to gain their attention again. Im gonna move on to someone who appreciates everything i have to offer
I hope not and do not think I will be with a partner who will tell me that they no longer feel attracted to me. You see when you marry someone you should marry them because you have things in common to talk about which a personality attraction never fades. If you marry only for looks and have the mind set that you have to look beautiful to be attractive then those relationships don’t last so it must mean that your parents find each others personalities attractive. When you marry someone I guess you love them and when you age together it is a slow process and you just get used to your partner’s looks as they age and their looks become less important and personality is what holds a relationship.
Giving that some thought, since I have never been in a long-term relationship, my heart would sink. I wouldn't act on impulse. I'm the kind of woman who'll actually sit down and listen. If my future lover lost feelings for me and I still had feelings for them, then there's nothing that can change that. I would even befriend them if we decided to break it off. I would still care about them.
Now, if my lover had confessed that they had been cheating on me after they told me that they had lost feelings for me, I'd be furious and try to get back at the person they cheated on me with and them. To get back at them, I would burn my future lover's shit. Then vandalize the person my lover cheated on me's vehicle or whatever.
I don't know tbh. Right now I don't feel like I am really attractive enough for them anyways because they are out of my league, but it doesn't matter because they like me anyways. If they told me I wasn't attractive to them it would probably get stuck in my head and I would have to end the relationship because of insecurities. (Unless it was something that changed about me like me getting fat, not just them getting tired of me. If something changed that was reversible I would work to better myself)
Of course it can happen but if you keep doing things for each other and keep them happy then it never dies down. I’ve been married 26 years and more attracted to her today then ever. You also have to want it. You can choose not too and that’s on you.
It changes over time. You see all the history, all their behaviour, and all they mean to you.
It's likely there'll be times they don't feel attracted in that way. There'll be times they do. Other things get in the way. It doesn't mean it's necessarily over.
I’d be hurt. I’d make sure to put all my efforts in making my partner understand that we got to work upon our relationship.
When two people are getting in a relationship they should be well aware that the level of attraction will definitely change during the course of the relationship but it’s the job of both the people to always work on their relationship and keep the flame burning till the end of time. If either one of the partners doesn’t do anything the relationship will quickly fade and they’d separate eventually. It’s important that they keep coming up with something all the time even though it might not be as interesting as it was when they were in the beginning of their relationship.
I think honestly nothing is meant to be forever, people change personality and tastes during the time, according to personal experiences, needs or will.
If my eventual partner says she’s not attracted to me anymore, I’ll accept it, since the same could happen by my side.
I’d appreciate honesty, since if things at least can be solved without arguing or without resentment, it would be better.
That would probably hurt me I’d probably be on the floor weeping lol. I’d probably leave him if he’s just a boyfriend or live-in partner, but if he’s my husband I’d probably try to improve myself, I guess. But if that’s not enough to save our relationship then I guess I’ll just let him go. No point in staying with someone who doesn’t look at you the same anymore.
Sometimes you grow out of love, lust or attraction. Not all relationships are supposed to last the distance and not are these feelings.
Once the attraction has gone, I’d leave or end the relationship. I’m not suggesting this would be easy, but it’s best for both concerned in the long run.
Congratulations to your parents!.. But, I would feel like utter sh! t.. It's a blow to your ego and your heart.. But, that's true if you let it, you can totally lose attraction for your SO, or you could let it evolve to something more.. But you can definitely keep the spark alive as long as neither party gets complacent..
"Rippity rip- Guess it wasn't love to begin with, huh?" I'd think, but could only mumble them an awkward "Oh... okay..:"
Then go somewhere peaceful and cry my eyes out or stare at the wall blankly. Probably the latter one since the pain would make me shut down emotionally.
They made it 30 years because women weren’t as horrible in their generation as they are now. You’re all crabs in a bucket; the moment one of you starts doing well, the others drag you back down; once someone else starts doing well you drag them back down.
That's not how love works so I would just say "You could of told me ages ago you didn't love me would of saved a lot of time." because one simply don't loose attraction to the person they love.
It would hurt me, after all, the years I get told they're no longer attractive to me, hey anything is possible nowadays.
Why do you think that? You're attracted to what you're attracted to and you can't change that that's not something we have control over so if you're attracted to somebody you'll always be attracted to them. That is if you was really attracted to them in the beginning and I mean for all the right reasons not just physical because attraction comes in many forms you could be attracted to a person's personality or level of intelligence Or the way they look even the way they move or walk do you agree
It seems it will happen at some point especially if youve been with the same person for a long time. I would be kinda hurt but hopefully I could do something to capture her intrigue in me again.
I'm not sure how I would react but I would be really sad I guess ... I think/assume attraction can grow and become stronger, when you also love the person and their character
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