Was I right or wrong in this situation?

[Rainstorm2022]

My son called me asking if he can go on a trip thousands of kilometres away, with a different family, for 9 days, to the ocean to go house boating or something?

My son is 15 and I never even met the family he wants to travel with, but apparently my ex-wife knows them. She isn't going on the trip, but said he can go. I told him that it's too far away, for too many days, with a family I never even met before, and he's only 15. I told him no.

Right.

Wrong.

Updates

1 y

Thanks for the helpful responses, I believe I made the right decision.
I understand his disappointment in not going on that trip, but I'm going to take him on some adventures myself. I'm glad to get to spend time with him and make the most of it. 🙂

Updates

1 y

Have a great summer.

[exitseven]

I said you were right but maybe you could go and meet these people and see what you think. Whenever my kids hd a sleepover either my wife of me would meet the parents if we did not know them.

[Rainstorm2022]

Thanks.
To be honest I probably wouldn't even send my son that far away with my own sister, let alone some random family my ex-wife socializes with. It's just more the fact that he's 15, doesn't have his driver's license yet, it's very far for me to get to him if there's an accident or anything. 9 days, that far away is a long, nerve-wracking time for a worrisome father like me. He has gone to that destination before on vacation, but it was with my ex-wife. I was still nervous, but I know her, and I know that she will be able to protect our son. Once he's old enough to drive, and big enough to fend for himself, I will likely feel more confident about letting him travel with friends.

[exitseven]

@rainstorm2022 The other piece of this is is there a girlfriend involved?

[Rainstorm2022]

No. I asked him if there was a girl he liked that was going on this trip? I can understand how aggravating it can be when you're young and have a crush. Not getting an opportunity to hang out together feels like absolute misery (I've been through it at his age). He told me "No, he just wanted to hang out with his buddy.) It's not like he never gets to go ride bikes and hang out with his friends, that's literally where he is right now. I just didn't feel comfortable with the details of the trip. I am a bit nervous about stuff like that because my brother died in a bad truck accident just a few years ago. I am somewhat traumatized, and to me my son is all I really have left.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Tyrael]

I think you're right. He's too young to be going off with basically complete strangers such a long way away.

[Rainstorm2022]

That's how I feel.

[TrueConfection]

Right!!!

[TrueConfection]

I went through something similar recently with my teen. I had to be "the bad guy" yet again to protect my kid.

[Rainstorm2022]

Exactly. I swear his mother loves that he's mad at me now.
I don't know what else I was supposed to say. Sometimes as a parent you have to say no.

[TrueConfection]

I sometimes wonder the same thing.

[TrueConfection]

Thank you for the MHO ❤

[Rainstorm2022]

You're welcome. 🙂

[Shamalien]

Fathers are the protectors; do what you must. I’d say meet the family first and make a decision, then at least you’ll look fair to your son

[Rainstorm2022]

I seriously doubt I would trust the family just from a brief visit.
I'm also irritated because I want to spend time with my son before the summer is over here. It's difficult to see him when my ex takes him all over the place.

[Guy13]

I think that was the right decison

[Guy13]

Did he give you grief about the decision... MYOB is fine too ;-)

[Rainstorm2022]

He's upset, but I explained to him why he can't go.
I'd rather he be mad at me, than to make a careless decision just to please a 15 year old.

[Guy13]

I bet he knows deep down... that sucks though but he will plan much better next time...

[Jamie05rhs]

Awww. Don't be afraid to meet new people and try new things!

[Rainstorm2022]

I don't think this situation qualifies.
It isn't so much about ME meeting new people or trying new things, but rather making sure that my son is in a good position. At his age he still can't fend for himself if things go wrong.
I try not to gamble or experiment with his safety too much, I see it as my responsibility to get him to an age of adulthood where he can then take care of himself. Until then, I have to remain cautious. I just see it as what I signed up for when I helped bring him into this world.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's 15. He's going to be a man soon. Just make sure you don't hold him back.

[slatyb]

You should have spoken to the other parents.

[Rainstorm2022]

I understand, but there's still the fact that he's 15 and they want to take him like 17 hours drive away for 9 days when I have barely gotten to spend time with him this summer. I have plans for us as well.
Even if I meet that family, I would only allow them to take him camping like an hour away for a few days or something, definitely not the serious trip they have in mind.