Why does my fiance want my to have a job so bad?

[Anonymous]

So I make like $3k+ a month. I don't work because I'm focusing on my degree. I'm getting paid from the military as well so $4k. My fiance still wants me to work even though I have money saved. We're not struggling he said "he wants to be able to tell people what his wife does". I'm like why does it matter, and plus I'm going to school like that's not something to " brag" about? Most people don't care what somebody's significant other does because they're trying to get life together for themselves.

[ArrowheadSW]

Depends on a few things. How long will this money flow of $4,000 a month last? And what is it that you are studying towards? I think besides the income, he wants you to have a sense of identity more than being a stay at home housewife, perhaps?

[Asker]

He wants to brag about what his wife does. The $4k lasts, I'm studying to become a therapist and he's a firefighter.

[ArrowheadSW]

Does he want you to work right away, or is he OK with waiting until you graduate from college and become a therapist? Perhaps he wants two incomes, which is fairly normal. Firefighters make OK money but if you want to get a house later, it could be a struggle depending on where you live.

[Asker]

I could get a VA loan but I don't know it just feels like he cares about a title.

[ArrowheadSW]

But for how long will the $4,000 a month last? If it is going to end right after college, then it would be a good idea for you to be working to supplement the household income. You say he makes $54K a year with overtime. That really isn't all that much for a married couple.

[Asker]

If people can't manage with $40k+ a year and 54k+ almost $100k I don't know if that person is living above their means. Like I live in a decent state, not too bad when it comes to expenses

[Smoothing]

Sound like he is a bit of an idiot. What is he doing himself? If he wants he can work two jobs and leave you alone. You are studying. You don't need that pressure just because he wants to brag.

[Asker]

He's a firefighter and makes more than enough to marry me and I do too without working. I'm trying to study full time and get these degrees over with so I won't fall behind. I'll worry about a job when I finish college.

[Smoothing]

Don't get a job if you don't need to. I have studied while working and also studied without working. It is much easier to study without having to work. It is very unnecessary to work if you don't have to.

My had work paid but it was tough when I had to work. It is never something I brag about. I am just glad I made it through.

[Asker]

Exactly so many people have to work and go to school. I don't and I worked part time in the past without having this kind of money now. One of my classes did slip but now since I'm full time I don't have time to waste on stuff just because he feels he needs to brag or have a career right now. It's just dumb

[LazerBean]

That's really weird for a guy, especially since you are technically bringing in quite a big of money. Either he wants more money or he's just really insecure.

[Asker]

Seems like he wants more money even though he makes 54k a yr as a fireman. He has money saved, we make around the same amount a month if he doesn't do overtime. I didn't think it mattered that much if I work or not while I'm in school to have a "title".

[EmmaMary]

Does your fiancé work, and if so what money is he bringing home?

[Asker]

Firefighter, he should make around $3k a month plus overtime so whatever it equals to is 54k a year

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[Avicenna]

No one thinks badly of someone who is a student studying to be a therapist. His priorities here are off.

[Asker]

Yeah I feel he's worried about the wrong things.

[dustybiker]

Someone else who needs to mature. (Your fiancé, not you)

[Asker]

*Sighs* I agree

[FilmGuy93]

I'm not sure, honestly. Your current situation sounds fantastic. Why change something that works?

[Asker]

I don't know it's crazy

[Nadim171]

No offense, but bragging about what your girlfriend does, especially when you're the man, instead of what you do, really sounds retarded.

[Asker]

He's a firefighter, nobody really cares what I do, just sounds like it's for his own ego than what people think

[Nadim171]

Ok, no disrespect to firefighters. It's a risky and necessary job. Hats off to them. But it's not exactly a glamorous job, and it's not one that gives you any special status or prestige. It seems that he wants to use you to launch himself into a different social class. What are you studying by the way?

[Asker]

I'm studying psychology to become a therapist.

[EaterPeter]

I don't know why. I would want my partner to have job but what if she is not in same boat as you?

[Asker]

I don't know it's weird, we don't live in an expensive city. Everything is paid, he makes more than me depending on his overtime.

[Anonymous]

If I had to guess, Id say he wants people to be proud of you and what you've accomplished?

[Asker]

I guess but I don't care what people think about what I do.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, make sure he knows that.

[Asker]

I have, it's just dumb

[Jamie05rhs]

How do you "make" money if you're not working?

[Asker]

Disability + school money

[Jamie05rhs]

@Asker Okay. Gotcha 👍

[Jamie05rhs]

Are you a veteran?

[Asker]

Yess

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh- cool! Thank you for your service, ma'am.

[californiareaper]

How do you make 3k a month doing nothing?

[Asker]

Disability + school pay $4k+

[barn_stormer]

because he is a dumbass

[Asker]

I mean why does it matter, I see if I didn't have money then I'd work part time but I have more than enough without working.