Is she trying to get a reaction or am I hurt?

[Anonymous]

I hate this girl that I had huge crush on many years before. She rejected me and returned for a relationship after her breakup with her ex. I denied. I minimized my interactions with her. But eventually became the first guy to kiss her.

My silence made her move on and go on dates. It pained me a but I kept ignoring and act cool.

She never contacted me after I said I have a girlfriend which made me take the initiative of keeping lines open for communication. She was ignoring me.

Now she is booking hookers and playing with her fuck buddies. I dont even acknowledge her and keeps telling I forgot that we ever kissed or met. It has been over a year and I'm still pissed about that.

Last day she asked me if we would hookup. I was rude and cruel only to reject her.

Then I saw her Whatsapp status asking if anyone was free that day (I assume it was to hook). I blocked her immediately without a second thought while being connected to her on other platforms.

Can someone tell me what's happening. I am confused.

[quaranta]

You are confused, but I, reader, am confused as well. It's really hard to understand this story because it's not clear where distance was real and where it was playing games, or where it was lying to yourself.
You said you minimized interactions with her, then kissed her, then silence (?).
Then you said you had a girlfriend but wanted to keep lines open with her (why? To dump your girlfriend as soon as she contacts you back, or, was the whole girlfriend thing a lie?). Then you said you don't even aknowledge her but keep track of everything she does, then it looks like she reminds you that you kissed in the past and you get pissed off by that (?). She asks you to hookup, you reject her, then you're hurt because she of course possibly moves on to someone else, and block her out of anger.
You understand this whole situation is an enormous mess, made of a truckload of games you're playing, deceptions, lies, indirect strategies, push and pulls and you admitting to yourself how you feel about her only time to time.

I'll try to give anyway some answers, for what I understood: first of all she didn't contact you when you got a girlfriend because generally, when someone is taken, that person goes off the radar of the potential dates. I do that too. If someone is taken, I don't engage in any personal contact with them unless I really need something (an information, a help they only can give, etc). So don't be surprised for that.
Second thing, she first came to you to get a relationship, you denied, then came to you to hookup, you denied. She of course moves on to others in both cases because, well, you rejected her approaches, what else should she do? Cling to you begging to get with her after getting rejected? Meh.
So from her point of view, basically, you were interested in her, then lost interest, got a girlfriend, and rejected her twice. What she register is:"He is not interested anymore, I better move on". Did she try to cause your reaction yesterday? Maybe, or maybe not.
But it's you creating this whole game of contraddictions while still crushing on her and barely admitting it to yourself. If you are sure you don't "want" her for real, then what you have is you're addicted to the chance to do some revenge back and hurt her to make her live the same rejection you got, as if she owes you something to repay the very first time she rejected you (why else would you be cruel with a random unknown girl otherwise?). Maybe you seek for her desperation, her total submission to you, begging, or something equivalent, to fix your initial wound. But problem is getting rejected is part of life, people get rejected all the time and you're still stuck on this, that makes her still extremely influential on you, while she is not even aware of that.
You really really need to move on from this and to let time heal you, getting new contacts with new girls. She won't pay anything for rejecting you or for making you feel like a second choice, she proven she can move on quickly without clinging, so it just won't happen, it's a lost cause and it simply worns you out.
If you start with new girls be sure to abandon all this tendency to play games and this need of revenge in case they reject you (you don't want to fall into this addiction again I guess), but to invest in becoming good in communication, especially about problems, and in transparency in general about how you feel. Communication (and the resulting trust) is the foundation of any healthy and working relationship, and that trust is easy to break, so learn from the mess of this situation to avoid any of this crap the next time you have a problem with a girl. It's a style that cannot make you win.

[Asker]

Thanks. That was great. She rejected me 6 years back. It is that my heart still pains if I see her kissing another guy.

[Guy13]

You are clearly angry or hurt still.

[Asker]

Why would I be hurt when I dont want her or love her. I am asking this to myself everyday for a year.

[Guy13]

Your value is displaced. Relationship and beauty foes not measure value. Focus on other things?