Should couples be able to look down the others phones?

Question

I’m not saying doing it sneaky but if you ask to look at their messages do you think they should let you? If it’s between them and their ex.

bademoxy · Accepted Answer

please forgive the political soapbox, as I share my view of the big picture, but as we don't live in a vacuum , we individuals are vulnerable to societal pressures which are heavily influenced by a very corrupted media , particularly over the last 3 generations as Frankfurt School Marxism began it's academic march through our institutions , slowly changing them -and our JudeoChristian post enlightment culture- off course from a healthy Classic Liberal & Conservative open dialogue into far Leftist imbalance which any objective observer in possession of critical thinking skills can see is pushing people into group identity tribalism and political polarization (civil war/authoritarian).

"Diversity" in of itself is NOT "strength", only UNITY is! This is their reason for dividing men and women against each other in victimhood politics, to WEAKEN us, making us even more dependent on Big Brother interventionism.

The gender war of the sexes (fake"progression") was hidden within the Sexual Revolution, masquerading under "women's emancipation/liberation" but in reality not Women's Rights Movement (true humanism, which we already HAD), but 3rd Wave Feminism (a Marxist political front) purposed to ruin our naturally evolved biological gender roles, which in tandem with their Eugenics activism, intentionally results in massive demographic depopulation as the middle working class Nuclear Family (the heart & strength of Western civilization) collapses, in concert with Global elites who's corporations offshored masculine industrial manufacturing (REAL wealth creation) jobs to communist dictatorships such as China's.

As evidence against "modern" feminism, I present their current Trans activism displacing top ranking biological females from women's sporting competitions and anti Constitutional rules criminalizing cis gendered men who'd ask potential dates to disclose whether they're trans/former biological males.

Critical Race Theorists (Marxists) cannot explain WHY IF :"we are all born equal in capability" and "gender is merely social construction" thus "different outcomes is mostly due to systemic racism & sexism" -HOW IS IT we humans "EVOLVED by random chance from nature (Darwinism) ", yet for SOME reason we aren't biologically driven towards the best genes surviving/thriving THE WAY ANIMALS IN NATURE do?

Traditional courtship is NOT "social construction" such as government and religion, it's genetic selection amongst higher status women and men in order to produce increasingly healthier more prosperous OFFSPRING who in turn support aging parents.

ASK yourself " Are humans IDENTICAL to each other? You will realize in honesty WE ARE self evidently NOT , as even small children realize in a school playground (though this fact apparently is beyond the cognitive abilities of our leading "academic intellectuals"). So ask how can TWO DIFFERENT THINGS BE "EQUAL"?

One would have to be completely blind to the gender behavioral differences between newborn girls (attracted to faces) versus boys (attracted to mechanical things).

The unavoidable answer: We CAN be "equal" ONLY in mass DEATH, which is what through history that Marxist governments have always brought, IN EVERY CASE.

This is why I've been forced to conclude why Global corporatists FUND these SJW Marxist movements: they want most of humanity GONE , now that Ai/robotic workers can replace most of us, which means we'll be reduced down to becoming unproductive /non tax paying"useless feeders", fit only for their Soylent "Green Plan" final solution for all but ~ 500 million or so people.

WEF Great Reset survivors=Star Trek's "The Borg" =transhuman communist slavery.

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Yes, I believe couples should have access to each other's phones, but not for the reasons you may think. If you already feel the need to investigate for signs of disloyalty, then that's already telling about your level of trust and the quality of the relationship.

At the same time, if you're protective about your phone that you don't want your partner to see, then clearly there is something or are things that you are hiding. Which is ALSO a red flag. So don't buy into the "you're insecure!" gas lighting bullshit people throw your way just so they can get away with whatever. If I got reason to doubt your loyalty, trust and believe I'll try to get the information. And if it remains unsolved, then ADIOS it is.

Transparency is key within a relationship. Having access to each other's phones without feeling the need to pry is quite common within healthy relationships. Both my girlfriend and I have access to each other's phones & apps, but we don't pry. We use each other's phones whenever it is necessary.

Anyway, if you want to have access to the convos between your significant other and the ex, then that depends on whether she is still talking to her ex. For me, the fact she is still talking to her ex without proper reason is already an instant deal breaker and I'll instantly kick her to the curb.

Melinara · Accepted Answer

I think that trustworthiness is the cornerstone of every relationship in life. Theoretically, if you have a healthy and mature relationship with your partner, you won't have the constant desire to check on her. But for sure, we're humans and this means that even if everything is alright in our relationship, we're still curious to know what happens when we're not with our partner. It's this belief that each person has a dark story from the past and their puzzling thoughts and emotions. So we need a proof that we're not cheated.

I'm in a relationship too and to be honest I don't let my boyfriend use my phone. It's not that I hide something from him but I reckon that this is a matter of privacy, so I haven't told him my password yet.

Having said that, I believe that there are better and more subtle ways to check on someone. This could be through mutual friends and of course with the use of social media.

Please don't ask your partner to hand you her phone cuz she'll feel that you don't trust her at all. Play fair and you'll win...

MoniqueTLC · Accepted Answer

1 - I don't think couples should feel the need to check each other's phones. That's no respect for each other's privacy (and invasion of being autonomous), lack of trust etc.

2 - Your partner should not be engaging in conversation with their ex. I'd consider that a bit disrespectful to your current partner. Obviously this can go further into whether they're friends with their ex, is the ex wanting your significant other back, is it a random message, and all that.

I guess you should be able to trust your partner enough for them to tell you the messages from their ex is not anything of importance, or to be a concern of, and if they reiterated that they shut the convo down, leave it at that without any doubt?

Haha456 · Answer

how about I tell you to report to your parents about what everything you've searched over the internet, everything you've posted on social media over the past year?

you wouldn't do that because it would make you uncomfortable right?

exactly... same reason why you wouldn't want your spouse to go through your phone.

and plus, if you are an experienced cheater, you can cheat without having any evidence on your phone. I had man with a girlfriend and a baby at home, who thought I was hot and was adamantly pursuing me for sex for an entire year.

Moose304 · Answer

Most of the time the partner doesn't give a shit! It only becomes a problem when this partner starts to see changes in the other person. A guy I know asked me what my opinion was on his wife's guarding her phone. I simply told him to consider that phone off-limits and go on ahead and file. It's funny after getting served she could not get that phone in his hands quick enough. What she did not know was the man had a computer forensics guy ready to recover all the stuff she had deleted. Their divorce will be final soon. This is a subject a bit like that old question which came first the chicken or the egg? I always respect privacy. I DO NOT and NEVER will respect privacy when it is used to hide illegal or despicable behavior. If that makes me an asshole then so be it I am one!

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

Person A1 - if you trust me enough to do what is right you then you don't need to go through my phone.
Person B2 - If you have nothing to hide then it shouldn't bother you if I go through your phone.
Person A1 - Guess you don't trust me since you want to go through my phone.
Person B2 - Guess you are hiding something you know I would be mad about since you're not letting me go through your phone.
Some people have some negative stuff to hide, some have a surprise to hide and some have nothing to hide.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Wanting to see someone's phone screams insecurity. If they did not give you a reason to feel that way no need to see. If it's between an ex I would let but I don't think they should ask. I get that people have trust issues but you never know... nothing is wrong with talking to your ex if it's hot flirting. There are various reasons to talk to another human who happens to be an ex other than hooking up or romance.

Apraxia · Answer

Its a double sided thing; If a partner wants to have their privacy that should be respected, they should have your trust. Then again Its also why should the partner be so afraid/offended by the concept "don't you trust me", clearly not, fucking talk about it, clear the air, reassure them help them get over that insecurity, give them something to trust in the first place.

watercolor_lions · Answer

I would have an issue if my partner did not let me look between their ex and them. But I also don't have that problem.

It's kind of one of those lose-lose situations. There should be trust there so that you don't have to worry about what they're talking about. But at the same time they should not be so personal with their ex that they can't share what they're talking about.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I use the phone for basic bitch communication and for watching porn when I'm squeezing out a fat shit. The damn woman can look through my phone all she wants and only find out I really like midget clown porn.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Rather they not.

I’m kinda a private person and I value my privacy I don’t like people going through my stuff.

And wanting to look through my phone screams insecure and no trust.

if you trust me and are secure about the relationship then you wouldn’t feel a need to snoop to begin with.

In all my relationships I’ve never once ask to or did look through my partners phone or things.

nrm736 · Answer

Reading others' messages is like opening up a letter not addressed to you. I think in a healthy relationship there is no desire to check out each other's phones unless you give them authorization and know about it.

Nevertheless it's reasonable to feel uneasy about the ex. Exes can be messy. But the first move is to talk about it openly rather than checking your partner's phone.

sage2021 · Answer

I thought it was no big deal to look through the other person's phone until I found porn and several dating sites he uses. Then he put a passcode on his phone so I couldn't see what was in there. Geez! Whatever!

Guy13 · Answer

Anytime, All the time, if I leave in the house, if I’m there or not, questions are fine. I’m not bothered by it.

Anonymous · Answer

If they don't mind it. Keep in mind jealousy is not attractive. If you consistently do not trust your partner ask yourself why are you with them? It's not healthy.

I don't mind my partner looking at my phone. But if she had to keep looking after a while that would start to wear on me.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

There's nothing new about phones.

Who ever still does not know how to conceal sensitive information - must be a complete moron.

My phone is open to anyone.

My secrets (do I have some?) are somewhere else.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

No no no. Definitely not. The two people are a couple of today, but may not be tomorrow. Better to maintain your own set of secrets than to expose them.

AviatorTom · Answer

Only if it's okay with your partner, and in general, what's on a smart phone is a person's privacy, so you should not assume that you have the right to look at your partner's phone.

Hollywoodhillz · Answer

I am single, but there are stalkers who have access to my phone and computer. I have learned that all you need is a phone number and you can see any persons whereabouts and all information on the phone

Brandi555 · Answer

I think it’s like this. The only reason someone would not let you see their messages is because you have something to hide. So if you ask to see their messages and they don’t let you then you have your answer.

DermalPunch · Answer

Yes, next man in my life's phone must be unrestricted access and I don't care what anyone thinks or says.

Bratsondanielle · Answer

My husband's and I always just use the phone that's closest. His or mine it doesn't matter

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I have nothing to hide. If she wanted to waste her time she'd be free to. The most controversial things she'll find is GaG.

misfittoy · Answer

i have no reason not to allow it, nothing to hide and really doesn't matter to me

Kaytiee · Answer

I mean I wouldn't date someone who still texts their ex anyways, especially if recent.

ThinkFitness23 · Answer

What would be in the phone that your partner shouldn’t see, here is the answer.

Mangospacho · Answer

Just like refusing a sobriety test results in an automatic DWI, so should refusing to let your partner look down on your phone be automatic cheating.

CountryWanderer · Answer

They do have a right to privacy but in general I would say yes

Shy_Steve · Answer

Looking at each other's isn't going to help your Relationship, If you don't trust each other then why are you together?

bolverk · Answer

If you have nothing to hide why would you feel the need to lock your phone from your SO?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If ask then yes. It's no big deal. Being possessive and overbearing over someone's personal stuff is unacceptable though.

Anonymous · Answer

Damn, we use each other's phones all the time. It is just a phone and hardly important.

Anonymous · Answer

yes but the problem i have with here is why the fuck are they messaging their ex?

Vegasrunner · Answer

This is something you absolutely shouldn't do..

Jamie05rhs · Answer

If they're talking to their EX? Damn right, you should see the messages!

Coolcat99 · Answer

Yes they should if you have nothing to hide why hide it?

TroyDT · Answer

It's up to the couple. To me if there is that much of a lack of trust I'd just break up.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure! If you have something you don't want your partner to see, at least have the fucking sense to get a burner phone.

Twalli · Answer

You shouldn't need to. If you can't trust them, you shouldn't be in a relationship

darknexus7483 · Answer

No, if you want to look at my devices without asking then you better have paid for at least half the price.

more_than_a_guy · Answer

If a couple is doing so, there are trust issues and jealousy. Not a good recipe.

Anonymous · Answer

They should be able to ask, but shouldn't do it without permission.

jimmy2 · Answer

If you don't trust each other than both should look at each phone till you do

Knolen1 · Answer

Trust is key. A trusting person will not look

Pleaznhim4me · Answer

Only if they can look down their shirts too.

LovingJo · Answer

Don't see why not. If you have nothing to hide

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

No privacy is a must

art84 · Answer

I wouldn't as I would trust my partner.

Fuentes · Answer

Don't think I cared too

BLP11520 · Answer

nope...

robocop666 · Answer

nope never

Should couples be able to look down the others phones?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should couples have access to each other's phones?

Should couples be able to look down the others phones?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should couples have access to each other's phones?

We're glad to see you liked this post.