Why is it that it hurt me more when my ex boyfriend was also using me for money?

[Anonymous]

Every single time he would tell me ''I love you even in pajamas, never fix your eyebrows, you look great like at, all natural'' it was all a lie. Everything in that relationship was a lie, even his real age. He was around 12 years older than what he told me and my family.

When I realized he was algo using me for money (as a commodity), I saw that as unforgivable, as if someone doesn't even like me as a person, as if someone knocked me out. I saw this as worse than the players that get in a woman's pants and leave.

I was hurt he used me but why is it that him also being after money (after my father's properties too), hurt me much more?

Updates

1 y

He wanted me to become a wealthy restaurant owner, wealthy business woman so he can live off of my money and go after my father's properties too. This made me hate him so much, it destroyed me more than the times he would just come for sex and leave.

[Guy13]

Sorry to hear this has happened to you. Hopefully, you will continue to come through it. Spending some time with a counselor or a pastor would probably be a good idea. Best in everything and in your New Year forward !!

[Asker]

yeah he's been ditched since last Oct and I'm currently in a healthy relationship. I just find it more disgusting then someone is using you for money. It's like they don't even like you as a person at all.

[Guy13]

Definitely a blessing that you are free from him and have maintained a belief in Good, Hope, and Love. Some people are dead inside...

[Sevgi]

All experiences in life are for us humans. If you learn a good lesson from this experience, you will not have the same problems again. Your heart may be angry and sad right now because of disappointment, but it's your fault, you should have acted a little smarter. It's done, so after this time, go into recovery and focus on yourself.

[Asker]

I learned through him what a lying narcissist sounds like and what actually is a toxic person that's only using you as a commodity, that'll eventually ditch you when you're no longer needed. Sick people. I've also learned now to ever lend money to anyone, except my mother. He never paid me back my $1,200.

[Alwayreckles93]

His an idiot Karma is a bitch and it will bit him in the ass.

[Asker]

All I know is he has aged badly. He can't pretend to be younger than his age and get young girls anymore. He has gotten fatter, with health issues (pre-diabetic or likely diabetic by now, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and high triglycerides). Yeah sounds like it didn't go well for him.

[Asker]

Meanwhile I've been aging like wine (gracefully) ever since dumping him.

[Alwayreckles93]

How old is this clown? Yes the older the bad health issues. What a looser.

[Asker]

I'm now 35 and he's like 12 years older. So he's like 47 by now.

[Alwayreckles93]

Wow I would have guess he was 25-30. You deserve someone better.

[Asker]

Thank you. Yeah he was that one I gave my virginity too. He took my purity when I was 19 (at the time, I thought he was 22 years old like he said; he said he was born in 1984). I've been lied so many years until the truth came out. Yes it's disgusting that at the time, a 30-32 year-old took my v-card and he pretended to be a broke guy in his 20's that was saving money, yuck.

Fast-forward now I'm in a healthy relationship. My current boyfriend is way different from that user and my parents actually do like him.

[DoctorSex]

Because western standards dictate that the woman pimp the man for money, men pimping women has been made illegal.

He beat the system lol sorry for your loss. Welcome to the life of most men.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Asker]

I actually do fully understand when certain men get used for money. It's a horrible feeling. I'm beginning to think that's one of the worst insult to a person. If someone is using you for sex, at least they find you attractive, at least they did enjoyed that moment. They're total jerks, yes they are but they leave afterwards and that's it.
If someone is using you for money, the game can go on for a longer period of time, they make you invest emotions, effort and time for meanwhile thinking of you as just a commodity. They don't even like you as a person, it's all about what they can provide for them. I think that's disgusting and unforgivable.

[DoctorSex]

Lol that's a pretty cool realisation you've woken up to about the life of men.

Now I'd like to to relive that moment you realised you were taken for a fool, ask yourself how it's made you feel, being used for your money... Got that feeling? Ok good..

Now realise that the next person you date expects you to do the exact same thing with no assurances or guarantees that you'll have a happy ever after.

Infact they believe it's their right for you to put yourself in the position of being used just like you recently have been.

How generous are you feeling now?

Now realise that if you have any objections about being used like you just have been, you aren't considered as being a "true woman" 😆.

Welcome to the life of men my friend. Take a seat. 💺

[Asker]

He was indeed a horrible person. He was in fact a real life narccisist-sociopath; someone incapable of even basic compassion and empathy. A monster. Another insult is he never paid my money back.
I wonder why this happens to some good people (men or women)... that some of us have to deal with being made a fool or stumble upon a horrible person. Needless to say yes, it's sad there are rotten people on earth.

[ZenJen444]

Because you're stupid

[Asker]

I'm not stupid. I was in love at the time and we were in the relationship for the longest. I really thought he needed money for our future. I used to be an open-minded person helping those in need. No need for insults.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Another stupid 304.

[Asker]

I've already gotten insulted practically all my life, whether directly by school bullies or indirectly by getting used or deceived. I don't need to deal with insults from random strangers.