What are the benefits of knowing why your partner cheated on you?

[gayesblog]

If you've been cheated, would you like to know the reason why your partner cheated on you? What are the benefits of knowing the reason of it?

[Finchie40]

Not knowing why someone cheated on you can take a toll on your life , leaving you with constant question marks as to what you did wrong , or where did I go wrong to make them cheat on me , especially if you truly loved that person with all your heart , and they betrayed you that way , Knowing the true answer helps you move forward , It’s selfish not to tell someone why you cheated on them , cheating itself is a selfish act , in most cases it has nothing to do with you , it stems down to who they are as a person , they usually have a hard time trusting and they have a lot of insecurities and feel like someone else can save them , not realizing they are just a selfish person that only cares about themselves , A cheater will always point fingers at their partner for the reason why they did it especially if the get caught red handed , A cheater knows it’s wrong to do but they do it anyways because they are selfish and only thinking of themselves , Why it’s important to remove selfishness for each other in a committed relationship , making each other your top priority treating each other with respect , it won’t always be easy you will have your disagreements but you fix it before jumping in bed with someone else thinking they are Going to save you , sadly they aren’t saving you they are just getting off on you , When you learn to resist temptation for Your partner it’s easier for them to resist it for you

[ohsheeT]

I mean if you think about it everybody in this world that has cheated has basically done up for the same reason first reason is they don't believe they're going to get caught they think they're smarter than their partner there's a Moment of clarity right before they cheat and they think about their partner that
they decide to go ahead and do it anyway because once again they think they're smarter and they're not going to get caught
And once again just like everybody else after they cheat they go home to their partner and act as if nothing happened and they play the role of being their partner again thinking that they just got away with something I don't really think it's the act of cheating that hurts the most I think What Hurts the Most is them playing you as a fool knowing that it was wrong to cheat but they did it anyway thinking that they're going to get away with it and then acting as if they do get away with it each and every day until they get caught that's the part that really kind of hurts and if you were to ask anybody who is cheated this scenario I just gave you would fit them perfect but then when they do get caught for males they don't want anybody to know that they cheated and they were an asshole so they cry and mine just to get her back whether they want her back or not they don't want anybody else to know that they are a Pig for the girls that she's it's the same way for a minute but then it's like any other thing that likes are just going to give you an excuse why you either live with it or you don't so for me personally I don't need to know why I could really care less it all boils down to the same thing they did it

[electromagnetic]

I’ve never been cheated on (not that I know of anyways from past relationships) but I have been the other girl before. Granted I didn’t know until his girlfriend called me and explained the bigger picture.
I didn’t ask why. Wasn’t my place and I don’t think there really is any benefits in knowing. It just looms over your heads and basically eats up at you.

I think creating roots from the starts help to curb a cheating dynamic. If both parties are forthcoming in saying ‘if one of us isn’t happy, let’s talk about it’ it help. I’m not saying it a cure-all fix but it’s a start. Other cheating are chance at opportunity for some.

[jorfan3]

I have cheated, and I don't know if knowing would actually help.

I did cheat because my needs weren't being met. But that still doesn't justify me cheating. It just points blame at another person when I have abandonment issues. I shouldn't have been afraid to leave. They will take the message "I got cheated on because I wasn't meeting their needs" instead of "I got cheated on because they have a problem". A person who is fully healthy would just leave, instead of cheating.

[caring__1]

Knowledge allows us to grow. Without knowledge, we just keep doing what we've always been doing, increasing the odds of getting similar results in the future. When a partner or ex helps us see things within our control, we can choose to fine tune those patterns. Unsolicited advice will never result in anything but defensiveness, but when we seek it and the other person is willing to help us see how we come across, that mirror image can open our eyes to things we previously hadn't seen.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I can see two potential benefits, one is if it keeps happening and guys give the same reason each time, then either I need to change something or they just leaking a bunch of BS.

The other is, simply to see what kind of stupid excuse, the dumber it is... the easier it can be for me to move on.

If someone has some dumb ass excuse, I know it was them and not me but if I keep wondering what I could of done, and self bashing by not knowing, then it is harder.

[OlderAndWiser]

I do not excuse or tolerate cheating and the reason is irrelevant.

[Leopard23]

In theory you wouldn't have the question lingering, a cheater will tell you why, they might even justify it but the real truth is that they cheated because its their nature, a cheater will always cheat with men that cheat it's when the opportunity comes a long, with cheating women it's because they are looking for someone else to monkey branch too. Cheaters will always cheat. If you met a person who was already with someone and they cheated on them to be with you well they will do the same to you down the line.

[OfMiceandMen]

I consider a person who cheats to be of weak mind and character. There should be no reason to cheat on someone, if you never expressed an issue/concern prior to cheating. Blaming your SO after the fact is just a way of taking the heat/light off yourself. Again, weak character.

I guess what I am trying to say, is there are no benefits to knowing why your partner cheated, bc it is after the fact and they would be willing to tell you anything to shift the spotlight off themselves and onto you. Effectively, attack your character to make you feel like your somewhat responsible, rather than the victim.

[Moose304]

There are none. You start chasing after these rabbit holes and all you are going to do is drive yourself crazy. If a partner cheats THEY are the one with the issues. A person that can't speak to a partner and tell them they are unhappy is not really partner material and not really worth the effort. Money and lack of communication are at the heart of most breakups. Lastly, many people male and female have what I call alley-cat syndrome. They will screw anything and everybody in sight and don't give a damn who or what they hurt. Does it really matter why?

[D_Bone_Steak]

The more you know the better. If you don't learn you'll probably make the same mistake again. I mean what's the point of getting cheated on and not learning all the reasons why. Or, you could just break up without learning anything first, and then you go find the same exact type of partner and allow the same situations, and follow the same patterns... and then it happens again.

[inhua]

the "why" should be obvious. they're simply not attracted to you anymore or at least not as attracted to you as they are attracted to the affair partner

I'd rather find out how they cheated and the methods they used to get away with it

[virtual_girl]

Not necessary. 9 times out of 10 the reason is they were in a sexless relationship. Make sure your man's stomach is full and balls are empty and he will not cheat on you.

Sex is important to men, it's how they express emotion and relieve stress. Plus, if you didn't have the puss he wouldn't have been in the relationship in the first place. If you're not putting out, there is no shortage of other women who will.

[Chazmatazz269]

There is no “reason” for cheating; only excuses. Listening to an excuse is like searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. You’re never gonna get out of it what you want, and you’re an idiot for wasting the time and energy on it. Dump the cheater and move on; no questions asked.

[AdithyaR]

I wouldn't care what the reason is. Cheating is cheating.
The only exception is if they were drugged or similar cause then it's r*pe and not my partner's fault, they're a victim.
But any other normal cheating situation, they're out the door right then and there.

[Anonymous]

Those reasons may inform your next partners actions in the same way.

Suppose the reason your partner said they cheated was that you stopped showing affection, stopped having sex and put on 100lbs. Don't you think that might be useful to know?

[loveslongnails]

What if, from the male side, his reason is "you refuse to give me blow jobs because you hate them, and I didn't want to go on for years thinking I'll never get one again". Does that help? Does that make you think "maybe I should give him blow jobs", or does it make you think " but I fuck your brains out all you want and never say no, but that's not good enough for you?"

[Vesuvius87]

I would only want to know if he cheated so he can stop wasting my time. No, I don't care at all about the reason why, just that he did it and it's over.

I see no benefits whatsoever, NONE.

[NathanDavis]

well... you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering why and doubting in uncertainty

if you know the root of an issue... you're in a much better position to move on

understanding is very, VERY valuable in this life

[DestinyElizabeth04]

I'm not sure there are any benefits to asking "why" it happened. More often than not you're going to get an answer that makes you insecure and it's going to fuck with your head and make you feel inadequate or unworthy.

[whirled_up_girl]

Yeah, espeically if I thought it was a good relationship I'd wonder why he thought so little of it to cheat. I could maybe learn something going forward with someone else.

[Pegases]

It's just closure, which can make it easier to move forward. But, it deosnt always make it easier to move forward, in fact sometimes it makes it harder if you're surprised by the cause.

[mb120101]

I've been cheated on and wondered why but honestly it would just make it harder to move on hearing upsetting information. If you're still together I would definitely want to know why

[Lyndsielee666]

I wanted to know so I could report his ass for having sex with a minor. Nasty ass little shit.