Would you consider moving on after the perfect love of your life died to be a form of cheating?

[Juxtapose]

I personally would feel very guilty with moving on. What if there is an afterlife and they are waiting for you? And even if they are gone forever, dating somebody else is essentially replacing them unless you view it in a polyamorous sort of sense.

I think the purest form of love should have permanence to it and be sacrificial but most people don't agree with me on this.

Is your lover just a convenience for you that is discarded when they die? What's up with this? It's not like you replace your mom when she dies..

Yes.

No.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, there is no afterlife, so if they died they don't exist anymore, and therefor cannot be cheated on.

I'd find it very hard to date after anyway though, I still haven't found the first match, I imagine after I do, I'll probably never find a second...

[TheSpaceGnome]

I should also probably clarify that I don't agree with certain things you said.

It's not replacing them.

Even if by some stroke of "luck" I found someone just like the first, she would still be a different person, with different memories, different experiences, etc.

When you get a new pet after one dies, you consider the new one to be part of your family, but it does not take away value from the one you lost.

Love is not about sacrifice, it's about protection and consideration. Anyone who loves someone does not want their SO to spend the rest of their days alone if they die. Wanting the person to be single the rest of their life if you die first, is selfish unless you believe in souls (which don't exist).

As for the mom remark, if a child loses their parents, they are usually sent to an adoption center, where they get new surrogate parents, because as a child, they NEED to have parents.

Adults do not usually need parenting, but they do need love.

[Juxtapose]

So if it's not replacing them, is it polyamory or do you consider them dying a break up?

[TheSpaceGnome]

I consider it a death.

A breakup implies incompatibility and choice, polyamory implies actively dating multiple people with all parties willing, neither is the case.

It is more like a reset..

There would be a grieving stage, and then down the line at some point, I might meet another match.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I don't believe in an afterlife and as such if I do meet another woman after she passes, I'd likely go for it.

[Dіldophobe]

I think some couples would. I have not made such a a connection with anyone yet, but I imagine both people would be on the same level.

That is if you don't feel guilty about it, then your partner probably wouldn't either.

Remember that our bodily processes are under the influence of our consciousness. Just like seeing someone can trigger lust hormones in you, being committed to someone may inhibit these hormones which will leave you impotent toward anyone other than your partner.

Possibly one will never have the desire to move on.

[RobT312]

It’s not unreasonable to move on after the death of a spouse or “perfect love”. However a ton of feelings and emotions at play here…… Not sure I could love anyone the way I love my fiancée, but To some it could be a part of the healing process. I guess I ask the question, is it better to be alone and mourn the loss, or go on with life.

[Canuck37]

Cheating means to break your marriage vows.

The marriage vow says that you will be faithful to each other "till death do us part".

Therefore, moving on following the death of a partner is not cheating.

[rosemilk]

"perfect love of your life" doesn't really exist... there's way too many people you can be compatible with. this isn't cheating at all since the person, sadly, passed away.

[LindsayR07]

No, but if my girlfriend died, I couldn't date again... honestly I'd probably end up like Otto, doing everything i could to get things in order and be with her, and probably with the same failure rate too

[SnowedIn]

No, not cheating. My wife and I have talked about this and both agree that if either of us dies, the other is free to pursue love/a relationship.

[Twalli]

If my girlfriend were to die tomorrow I wouldn't spend the rest of my life not looking because the perfect person for me is gone. Plenty of people never find the perfect person for them, but find someone who is good enough.

[RMorus]

Indeed I do subconsciously as far as I understand.

[RealMarek]

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, but I don’t think I could manage to have a relationship with someone else.

[LazerBean]

No. They're dead. You cannot be in a relationship with a dead person.

[LiamJHayden]

"Till death do us part" seems to specifically preclude the idea of it being cheating.

[Guardian45]

I have had two former lovers die, and although I did find it difficult to take another, they did want me to move on and be happy. Life & Love is for the Living.

[Nikki1989]

No, life must go on.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I agree with that

[gorydetails]

Absolutely not cheating.

[Exterminatore]

Nope.