How many chances does she expect me to give her?

[cth2188]

I keep meeting someone over my lifetime 3 -4 times and each time we meet I assume she's changed or has her shyt together. Her behavior has never changed- she's never changed jeopardizing this connection. This time she hurt me badly with her behavior until I just walked and didn't say anything 💔 she created an argument/ drama comparing me to people from her past and blaming me for her problems/ feelings when I've been here supporting her and genuinely cared. I don't have anymore chances to give to this woman and I keep asking God not to send her to me.. how many chances does she wants or think she can have?

Updates

1 y

I know she'll be back thinking she has another chance.. I'm out of chances and her behavior is hurting me everytime. My heart is done with her and I will not let her have access to me again.. she just ghosted me no explanation no nothing 2 weeks ago.

[caring__1]

The question is not how many chances she expects to receive... it's how many chances do you expect yourself to give? The only reason she continues to return is you show her you're receptive to giving her new chances. Shut the door and keep it closed, or you'll continue to be like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football... continuing the same dysfunctional pattern forever.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vh4JgwstBtE

[cth2188]

The door is closed this time as this time hurt me to me core badly.. I also doubt she's changing

[caring__1]

And how many times did Charlie Brown say the door was closed? Your past behavioral pattern just invites people to take advantage of you. Learn from this experience, and make sure you don't repeat it with someone else.

[cth2188]

Noone is taking advantage of me my boundaries are up they were up when we're talking.. never met her or had sex with her..

[caring__1]

If that's the case, what are these chances you believe she continues to expect of you?

[cth2188]

Actually wasn't even dating.. didn't lose anything because we were not exclusive

[cth2188]

She keeps returning in my life How would I know the answer to that?

[caring__1]

As soon as you realize it isn't what you are seeking, move on. It appears you took it further than was healthy for you, as your stress level rose.

[cth2188]

My stress level didn't rise because of that - I have other things going on in my life and a relationship isn't one of them - I explained that too her , but it doesn't change her behavior

[cth2188]

I'm in school and have business stuff going on

[caring__1]

She's saying this is who she is, so she doesn't believe any aspect of her behavior needs to change. See people as they are rather than for the potential they can become.

[cth2188]

She has to deal with her behavior accordingly, but my boundaries are up now

[cth2188]

I pray God sends me a partner not toxic - as for her and I my heart can't deal with her no more

[caring__1]

Be observant when choosing a partner. Don't just see what you want to see or believe empty promises... discover the patterns that already exist and never expect them to change.

[cth2188]

I don't expect anyone to change- as of right now I'm not seeking a relationship

[caring__1]

Then this is a non-issue and not something to invest any time or energy into.

[cth2188]

Who said I was there's no communication between us and haven't in 2 weeks

[cth2188]

It is an issue I'm still healing from this and there's no closure or clarity

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, it is unlikely we'll gain closure or clarity until we see things through the other person's eyes, so only she has the ability to do so.

[cth2188]

Idc about her clarity or closure I want her to move on because it's her toxic and unhealthy behavior thats hurting me. This is the 3rd time of her hurting me- no more

[cth2188]

She can't contact me as she's blocked and on social media 🚫🚫🚫

[caring__1]

Sorry for the delay in answering, but snow put my Internet provider out of action again.

You only have control over yourself, not others, so you can't force her to move on. If you don't respond in any way to her actions, she'll eventually give up and move on. Never feed into behaviors you don't want to reinforce. You have the ability to block her, and you've already done that. Hopefully, you never hear from her again.

[nawtee_me]

Id God is sending her your way then He has a plan for her, and you are a part of that plan. Remember Jonah refused to go to Nineveh and God sent a whale to make sure he got there. Don't be Jonah...

[cth2188]

She's not changing- I don't know who hurt her , but they [ her past ] did a number on her thus hurting me.. I can't take the hurt anymore as it's damaging me.. I'm afraid she lost me for good this time

[nawtee_me]

Forgiveness...

[cth2188]

I did 4 times this time she was abusive [ emotionally and verbally] manipulate too / I'm sorry she needs professional help and it's not me

[Batsy01010101]

sounds like D--- the asshole she was a piece of work the exact same behavior you just described

[HappyWoman34]

Some people are toxic. Just avoid her.

[EaterPeter]

Trillion

[EaterPeter]

Gazillion

[cth2188]

This is it I'm sorry