If someone said they wanted to be with you because there was "something about you" but couldn't explain what, how would you take this and why?

[LovingJo]

Positively, please explain

Negatively, please explain

Other, please explain

Updates

1 y

If you had been with this person 6 months, what then? 🤔

[Lliam]

I understand the desire for some kind of hint about what he meant. But you should be able to tell if he said it with sincere admiration.

However, unless one is a poet, some things are hard to express in words.

If you were describing what you like about a song, you could specify something in particular like "the words", "the message", "the melody", "the way it makes me feel", "the instrumentation", "the arrangement", "the rhythm", "the vocals", or "when the beat kicks in".

Is it sufficient to say that you really like that song, or is it necessary to specify some reason in order to justify your opinion? Is it helpful to make a list of reasons or to try describing the technical aspects in detail?

Words are insufficient. And they often bring up more and more questions from the person asking. They can even lead to misunderstandings and debates.

A person can fall into a trap. If a guy specifies your voice, or the way your eyes sparkle, or the way the corners of your mouth turn up when you smile, or the way you move your hands when expressing yourself, he might be accused of only liking your physical appearance. Those specific things might even make you feel self conscious.

Maybe he should focus on aspects of your personality. But, in reality, it's an ineffable combination of things that makes him admire you or "feel funny inside" when he is with you. He adores you, but can he accurately describe you entirely? He would inevitably leave something out.

Would a description wind up sounding clinical and ruin the idealistic nature of his feelings? It would be like dissecting something to discover why it's beautiful.

In answer to your question. Is he a fuck boy? Was it a pickup line? Was he a sincere guy who couldn't articulate his feelings? I don't know.

[zeitgeist057]

Some people aren't good at putting into words how they feel. It could be a positive thing or a negative thing. Maybe they are fantasizing about you in a way that is separated from reality and it's not healthy, or maybe they just really can't put it into words due to a lack of their own ability to express themselves.

I would take it as a positive thing, rather than be suspicious. Of course there could be other signs that made me feel it is coming from a negative place, so I would urge you if this is your situation to trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

I would take it as neither negative or positive because they can't exactly explain what it is about me that makes them like me. If I had to choose one I would be more on the positive side though because they do in fact like me, they just can't express why.

[anon1903]

It depends. If we've been going out for a couple of weeks, I'd be flattered that I caught their eye, that I tickle their fancy. It's amazing.

But if it's been an year... That's a load of garbage I didn't ask for. You should know better.

[Pinay_ako]

Six months later and they still can’t figure out what that something about me that they fell in love with, they better be straightforward if they see themselves with me in the near future coz I sure can’t see why I should be with someone who doesn’t know why they’re with me in the first place!

[coachTanthony]

Sounds like a canned line to make you feel "special" of sorts. Simply dumb to say in my opinion.

[OlderAndWiser]

Bottom line is that they want to be with you, so unless you are paying them to date you, I would say this is a good thing!

[Guy13]

Be thankful and gracious with a thank you, can you expand on that a bit please?

[Adventurer23]

Absolutely. "Be with me" in a relationship or to have sex though? Not until she knew what it was about me she likes. But to date each other and learn what that is over time? Of course. It's flattering to be admired and attracted to for the qualities you have, so of course I would want to go out with her if I felt something for her too.

[LovingJo]

But how can one not identify those qualities to you?

[Adventurer23]

@LovingJo It's not that someone can't, it's that sometimes it just takes time. If a girl said to me, "There's just something about you I really like", I'd still go on a date with her to see if there's a connection there. Sometimes it just takes more time to learn what it is about someone to know for sure, which is a part of the dating process. You can't always know all these things until you date each other.

[LovingJo]

We've been together for 6 months

[Adventurer23]

@LovingJo I see you added that as an update. You should have mentioned that in your initial question. That context changes everything.

But yeah, if he has been with you for 6 months and he doesn't know what it is about you that he's attracted to (beyond just looks), that's pretty odd and is a reason for concern in my opinion. It shouldn't take that long.

I suppose the question becomes: why are you still with someone who doesn't know after all that time? And how long are you willing to let things go on before he tells you? If he ever does?

I would demand some answers. Sit down and have a calm and constructive talk with him about it to see if you can work through it with him, and to see if there's anything there. If he can come up with some good reasons why he likes you, fine. But if he can't, six months is a long time to dedicate toward someone who doesn't seem to have a clue, and who may never know. You may want to move on, but talk to him more about it first. Communication is everything.

[Mansearching]

How can you describe the "it" factor? No one can. Its not just a 1 thing. Its multiple things. Always in sports announcers and coaches and upper management always say "they have it". But can't explain what the "it" is. They try but ends up being several things. But to pin point that 1 "it" thing. Then it can't be done.

[LovingJo]

LOL - thanks for your help!! 😂😉

[serious]

I will not take it the right way because how can anyone decide why they want to be with me if they don't know the reason or the basis behind that decision.

This would also indicate that the person who is saying this still does not know me well enough but wishes to be with me.

I won't accept that.

[serious]

Voted option C.

[exitseven]

I would think it is a good thing. I am not particularly good looking and I am not wealthy either. I have to assume that it would have to be some unknown quantity that made me attractive.

[LovingJo]

Wow 😲😂

[exitseven]

Wow good or wow bad?

[LovingJo]

So, you're saying that if he isn't attracted to me, that maybe there are other qualities that make me a safe choice? 🤔

[exitseven]

I am not saying safe choice, that sounds kind of boring but you would be a person I would find attractive. When I was a freshman in college I met a girl who was really just average in the looks department. We hung out together a lot. She was really unique and as time went on she actually got better looking to me and I was really attracted to her and eventually she became my girlfriend for the next 4 years

[SnowedIn]

I selected "other" but that's pretty sus. ESPECIALLY after six months. You have to be able to articulate some of this stuff.

[LovingJo]

💯❤️

[SoIcyGang]

Honestly I've had a bunch of girls do this to me. I just don't know what to think about it. It's been a while since it happened. Last time it happened it was a girl at a porn shop and she smelled bad but was cute.

They'll say things like "you just bring something out of me" or some shit like that.

I feel like they're just hoping I'm "daddy." It's a test to see if I'll take them home and do bad things to them in the bed.

[LazerBean]

If they can't describe what it is about me, then I'm going to assume it's because they really don't know which means it's probably just hormones. No thanks.

[abc3643]

That would be very intriguing and possibly lead to a relationship.
Ironically, 34 years ago almost to the day, that sort of thing happened to me.

[lottiebannotie]

Have you never liked someone but not been able to put your finger on it

[LovingJo]

Of course, but I can tell them the reasons why I do.

[lottiebannotie]

So you need a label like oh your so pretty or handsome so considerate etc can't just like a person and go damn I dunno what it is but I think I love you? Not criticizing just asking we're all different

[LovingJo]

Lol ok.. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[lottiebannotie]

It doesn't mean it's not a line players use but they ain't got game if that's what they're dropping 👩‍🦰

[Still-alive]

as long as they can explain it much better later im fine... but if they can't communicate why they like you at some point i dunno its not good enough for me. maybe thats me though.

[LovingJo]

@Still-alive Nope, not just you

[Still-alive]

yeah i think im one of those who needs words of affirmation lol

[LovingJo]

Not just words, actions as well.

[lottiebannotie]

Actions speak louder than words facts

[Still-alive]

yes a bit of both. we all got a 'love language' that makes us feel loved. i like actions but i also like words to go with the actions too. like nice seasoning on a prime steak lol

[LovingJo]

Haha yes

[Still-alive]

actions do speak it louder but some people need just a bit more

[lottiebannotie]

Regards your update after 6 months I would start to seriously consider his mental capacity 🤣

[LovingJo]

Trust me, I do 😂

[lottiebannotie]

Good luck with it all honey I wish you well

[LovingJo]

Thank you

[Still-alive]

Well i guess its a start. But eventually i would want them to offer a something more substantial than that.

[LovingJo]

What is they say they don't know.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Still-alive]

I dunno sounds like game playing to me or they’re poor at communication 🤷‍♂️

[LovingJo]

Yep 😂

[Still-alive]

Like I remember one girl say she liked the way i talked. And she didn’t exactly know why. But later she clarified and said i sounded genuine. So thats a nice compliment for me.

[Still-alive]

But if they can never explain what it is that can be a red flag to me. Feels like they’re trying to pull wool over your eyes lol. Im sure fuckboys love saying this stuff

[LovingJo]

Been together 6 months

[Still-alive]

Nice. Is it going well in your opinion?

[LovingJo]

Been very up and down

[Still-alive]

roller coaster. i truly hope for the best though.

[LovingJo]

Thanks love

[Still-alive]

creepy smiles for youuu lol
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[Still-alive]

@update honestly he oughtta know by that point in my opinion. *shrug*

[LovingJo]

Haha, you just tagged someone else.. But yes you're right 👍

[Still-alive]

yeah that account gets tagged often lol

anyways.. well i wouldn't throw this relationship out the window just because of this... not that you were thinking about that mind you lol. If his actions truly make you feel like he loves you i think that can suffice. like i said maybe he just sucks at verbally communicating his feelings through words.

[Agape93]

Neutrally. I get that way, but I can articulate it well enough to get the sentiment across.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d find it sweet but i’d need them to explain before i decide to give it a go

[AsaKyo]

If they can't even tell you what makes you so special, then how do they even know if they really like you or not?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Positively, please explain.

[FilmGuy93]

I would interpret that positively. The person wants to be with me. At a certain point, that really ought to be enough for me. It’s best not to think so much, sometimes.

[Heterosketero]

About the best anyone could say to me, I would respond to this best and most sincerely. I am attracted to "something about you" as well.