I'm (35 f) he's (37 m) 3 years if I'm being honest has been near enough hell there has been a lot said and most recently a huge argument where he told me his ex was better at everything including sex and he repeated told me I'm desperate and he doesn't love me and never has. This type of argument happens every couple of weeks sometimes twice a week over the smallest things like i bought the wrong toilet paper or wrong washing up liquid literally the smallest things and he blows up at me saying such cruel things with the intent to hurt me mentally (he's said he says the cruel things cos he knows it hurts me). Then one morning he woke up and was really sweet and nice I thought wow ok I like this but now he's overly sweet and nice to the extent that he's started putting kisses on the end of every message it just happened randomly one night whilst he was in work and that's when something clicked in my head 3 years I've asked why he doesn't put kisses I always put 2 regardless and now out of the blue he's put 2 so I pointed it out and he said o I thought you wanted kisses... am I overthrowing to much or not I mean he's done and said some cruel things over 3 years and tbh he hasn't cared and then over night he's changed into a sweet caring man that wants to be nice and make me happy... x
It's difficult to say exactly why your boyfriend has suddenly started being nice to you and putting kisses at the end of messages, especially given the history of cruel behavior and hurtful comments that you've described.
It's possible that he has had a change of heart and genuinely wants to be kind and loving towards you. However, it's also possible that he has ulterior motives or is trying to manipulate you in some way.
It's important to approach this situation with caution and to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about his recent behavior. Ask him why he's suddenly being so nice to you and whether there is anything he wants or needs from you.
It's also important to set boundaries and to make sure that you are not being taken advantage of or manipulated in any way. If you have concerns about his behavior or if you feel uncomfortable with the sudden change, it may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or counselor for support and guidance.
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I don't know. I want to believe people can change for the better. Maybe he woke up one day and really did some self reflecting or maybe someone else said something to him to respect you more. The other thing I was wondering if he maybe on his own got therapy?
Something or someone could have snapped him out of his bad behavior but I will say to you to be on guard. You could always suggest couples therapy as a way to continue to be the best couple you can be. This seems he could potentially be bi-polar too. If he is he will need help. With help he can be way better. Or he could be a jerk but that's hard to tell from here.
You have 3 options to believe:
First, you are with a mentally ill person.
Second, they have profits. That's why he treats you well. But sometimes he can forget these profits.
Third, he may be trying to be a better person for you. However, past experiences and different traumas can prevent this.
The decision is yours. Remember this: Don't suppress your future laughter because of a relationship you're not smiles with.
Be wary. My Ex mainly comes around on a special occasion and rel lovey when it deals with a possible gift like I used to do. Like this morning. he may want some sex and more of his own kisses. Be careful and not so trusting.
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Maybe he had a wake up call and realized how blessed he is to have you by his side , most relationships go through ups and downs and most people don’t realize how good of a partner they have until that person is gone or out of their lives , usually when a partner starts to come off as being mean and angry toward you in most cases they are just miserable with themselves and they tend to attack the ones they love most , without realizing they are doing it so the fact that you stood by his side during that rough time proved to him that he has a great girl standing by his side and he realized he was being a dumb ass for treating you the way he has been treating you , All relationships are hard but when you find someone that stands by your side no matter what that is where love comes into play
This type of argument happens every couple of weeks sometimes twice a week over the smallest things like i bought the wrong toilet paper or wrong washing up liquid literally the smallest things and he blows up at me saying such cruel things with the intent to hurt me mentally (he's said he says the cruel things cos he knows it hurts me).
My advice is to break up with him. It may hurt now to do so, especially since now he's being sweet, but he sounds mentally unstable and not worth the time. Unless he's willing to go to a therapist, he's going to do this later on, and likely be physical, too.
Break up with him.
He either got in trouble with someone over how he treated you or he’s hiding something.
Either way I don’t think he loves you.
I know you want him to love you but your relationship is dead and you shouldn’t trust him. Maybe he’s cheating or maybe he’s looking at life insurance, whatever it may be I can assure you that you don’t won’t want to be involved.Your relationship is toxic. Do you plane on getting married to him? If so Do something for me. Ask yourself after 3 years has your relationship advanced in anyway or has it just been argument and disrespectful degrading insults? If not then why do you stay with someone who treats you badly, do you think you’ll not find anyone else?
sounds to me he doesn’t value you and uses his ex as a tool to hurt you.
I don't consider putting kisses in messages being to nice to you, that's cheap, anyone can do, even ted bundy could do that, and did do that with his girlfriend, was so nice her, but behind her back, was out killing women.
You are going to need to judge him on more just on few kisses. Actions across the board is a general, is better way to assess their character.Has he ever cheated?
Also, sweetheart... be better than that... he could eff every other girl and you would still be there... you are convenient to him, when you are probably amazing!! Get it together... leave his ass!!Get out while you can. You don't want to raise kids with a jerk like that as an example of how men should be.
Be extremely careful.
That's how abusers do, if they think they need to work on you before "winning you". Once they think they've conquer you, they show their real face. That generally creates confussion.
Further evidence that girls can never just take the win. It's mind boggling.
He cheated on you, my ex have been too nice to me at some point of our relationship and found out later that he was cheating on me
Oooh, sounds bad. I wouldn't even start a relationship if it was going to go that way.
If he’s been that way this whole time, do not fall for that crap. He’s abusive and they don’t change overnight. That’s bait he’s using.
Is the image for your post actually what he sent you?
understand your worth now
sounds like he is bi polar
He cheated.
dump him
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