My boyfriend wants to spend too much time with me and I'm getting bored. Do you have any advice on this?

[Anonymous]

We have been together for 5-6 months and my boyfriend wants to spend all his time, literally all his time, with me. We had planned a dinner out with my girlfriends and he even wants to come to that. Okay, there are times when I am happy about this, but I feel like I don't have time for myself anymore. Do you think this is normal? How can I express my discomfort without offending him?

[Finchie40]

Relationships are tough period , especially nowadays with social media screwing with people’s minds , wanting space from your boyfriend could cause some conflict in your relationship but he is just your boyfriend, he isn’t your husband , if he was your husband then this would be a whole different story , I would tell you to eliminate your friends and focus on your husband , Now are you and your boyfriend official? Did you both agree to be committed to each other? If that is the case then you should distance yourself from your friends and focus on your boyfriend , because the sad truth is , partners that usually want space or demand space from their partner are usually up to no good even if you are t planning on physically cheating on him you are still cheating on the relationship you chose to be in , You really shouldn’t need space from someone you claim to love , the fact that you said you are getting bored of him , is a bad sign that something is off in your relationship , I am not saying you have to hold each other’s hands at all times, but for a relationship to survive , especially nowadays, you have to remove your inner selfishness the same way your partner should be doing for you , or your relationship will fall apart , sadly sometimes you have to distance yourself from your friends if you want your relationship to survive , You have to put yourself in your partners shoes before making decisions, Think how you would feel, if your boyfriend was demanding space from you and choosing his friends over you? You would more than likely feel like he was up to no good. and think he was up to something , so that’s why space is bad in a relationship , You should be with someone that you want by your side as much as possible , if you don’t want your boyfriend to be by your side as much as possible then you aren't ready for a relationship, because you are choosing your selfishness over choosing him , It also comes down to what you have planned with your friends , Are you planning on going out drinking at bars and clubs with your friends or just going to have lunch or dinner with them and coming home at a reasonable hour? If you are planning to go to bars and clubs and not sure what time you will be home , then your boyfriend has every right to feel upset and hurt, but if you are planning to do innocent girl stuff then he shouldn’t be complaining what so ever , just remember you need to wear his shoes like you expect him to wear yours , or your relationship will not last because resentments will set in and you will both eventually start hating each other. For a relationship to last sometimes we have to sacrifice for our partner to make them aware that you still love and adore them , If you can’t do that then you really don’t love your boyfriend you just like the convenience of him

[razelove]

Just be straightforward, that you love spending time with him, but even if he doesn't need to spend time with his friends, you need time with yours, without him. If it continues like it's going, and from what you're saying, he'll suffocate you straight out of the relationship.
I mean, my wife is the same, so I get it, but when I need me time, I just tell her, and that's enough to get what I need. It only hurts more the longer you take, especially if you get more frustrated and can't express yourself calmly or easily.

[OKrts98]

Your boyfriend may have questions or concerns about your need for space or your relationship. Just listen to him and try to understand his perspective. Reassure him that you're still committed to the relationship and that you're not trying to push him away. I think communication is key in any relationship. If you're open and honest with your boyfriend about your needs, and you listen to his concerns, you can have a healthy conversation about taking some space without hurting his feelings. :)

[Simslover92]

You are lucky. I am in a long distance relationship and I wish I could spend all my time with my boyfriend. I get that after 5-6 months it can get a bit much at times and I would say to that to just ask him for a bit of space but I would be grateful in your shoes.

[OlderAndWiser]

He sounds like a needy guy and this issue usually leads to a break up. All you can do is let him know that you need time away for just you and your friends, and see how he responds. If he ignores your request, the future of this relationship is dim.

[ShadezMcgee]

Encourage him to spend time doing his hobbies, seeing his friends and family or doing something new. That you love him, but want to have some personal time to do things that you enjoy without his involvement.

It is natural to have a level of independence in a relationship and not make it all who you are. That is why you are feeling bored. He has made his relationship with your his main focus and all that he is. He needs to do things alone to give that healthy level of space and to allow attraction and desire to rise between the two of you. That is why you are bored.

You feel smothered and it has become too predictable to allow for you guys to have fun and enjoy the time you spend together.

[EricSummer]

Tell him that you need tome for yourself and your friends. The message has to be clear. You can of course reassure him about your love at the same time.

You need to make plans ahead, or you set aside a day of the week to spend with friends, for example, and another where you do sports. Maybe he wants to do the same. Chances are he has also been neglecting some people and activities.

Some people want to dump him for wanting to spend all his time with you, but I find this very harsh. This could only apply if he cannot respect your wish to spend time on your own and becomes obsessive about it. You are not at this point. It's great that he appreciates you so much, and he just needs to tone it down.

[MackBoy]

Even i feel the same, i want to be with my girlfriend all the time and I miss her even if it is an hour. once he loves a person, he won't leave because he needs someone to love him and he don't like to miss you too. it is normally the behaviour of guys as I experienced this with my girlfriend and I have read about the behaviour of man towards girlfriends. You go to your dinner without him if you feel uncomfortable and convince him you will not leave him if you love him. i used to trouble my girlfriend and she used to say she is busy or she is in the hospital. as you are girls you just take some free time if you want and don't tell to your boyfriend. if you don't like him in this way, you can leave him if you are not patient with him

[Sunssong]

You 2 lack a joint vision. That is the cause of 100% of relationship problems.
Either you have no joint vision or you don't know how to act on it.

He has an unconscious vision for the relationship
You have an unconscious vision for the relationship
Both visions are not in harmony

Leads mental break up and then manifest into physical break up

[Stoner710]

It’s normally for him to want to spend his time with you, it’s a lot normal for you to want to spend time with your girlfriends.

tell him your are flattered by all the time he want to spend with you but you need some girl time. Make it up to him by going to dinner the next night. He will be disappointed at first but he will understand.

what do you think will happen after your married and your living together both of you need time together and time apart.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's not normal nor healthy for your mind and emotions.

We humans need alone time to decompress and recover.

Tell him in a nice way that you seriously need some time alone to recover mentally and emotionally and that you can't have him around literally 24/7 as it's affecting you in bad way.

He should understand if he's a mature adult.

[Anonymous]

really? maybe enjoy that he actually likes you and wants to spend time with you. like, i get it, but there are couples who don't get to spend much time together. just count your blessings or talk to him about it. that's all.

[KC1545]

Man… when I was 5-6 months in my relationship I didn’t want to be away from my boyfriend. Of course if you have an all girls thing you want to go to I’d explain that it’s an all girls thing and that after it’s over y’all can hang out.

[lorenzomichael]

To much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Let him know that you need to chill with your girls, and do girl things. And as much a you enjoy his company you guys need your space. If that don't work ask him how can you ever miss me if your always with me? If that don't work ask him don't you have any friends? And if that don't work then next time your together tell him "LOOK" and point your finger behind him when he looks behind him run.

[lightbulb27]

no, that's too much. you need to have your own space with girlfriends and hobbies. he does as well.
but then again... what is normal for one is not for another. you picked him probably because of some other similar traits. just work with him.

[Twalli]

Tell him that you need a life that doesn't involve him in it. I made it very clear to my girlfriend that she needed it when we started dating. The fact is that most relationships fail, and you need a support system to help you when that happens. If you make your life completely intertwined with the other person, that can't happen.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I don't know. I spent every possible second of every day with my girl and we were both happy with it. Then again, we actually loved each other, so there was that factor

[HawkPerception]

Your boyfriend is a clingy one. Space is an extremely important aspect of any relationship, even when you live together. You need to communicate your thoughts to him. If you don't, nothing will change and you will eventually leave him.

[Anemone978]

Dump him so he can go out with someone who enjoys that.. someone like me lol

[DextroShade]

Just be honest, tell him that he's coming off as clingy and its unattractive. Even if it doesn't seem like it to you, he would rather know upfront and be given a chance to correct his behavior than lose you down the line and not know why.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

What's wrong with that? I like clingy. He probably loves you and wants to spend his time with the girl he cares about.

[Billlewis]

If he wants to be with you all the time, you must be doing something right:)

[Adam1978]

What stop you from having your girlfriend over too? One mustn't exclude the other.

[slatyb]

Yes. End this so you can meet someone with a life of their own.

[FilmGuy93]

That's very normal. If you want alone time, you just say it.

[itsalyssaagain]

I don’t think that’s normal lol…with your friends? Damn. Does he have friends?

[Luopio27]

That is not healthy to be together 24/7.
Everone needs their time and space.

[Shy_Steve]

Try organising things you can do together that you would enjoy.

[Greenbins]

I would absolutely have a talk with him.. I don't like being smothered either

[Manuel2]

If you are fed up with the sex life. Go public and see if you can not get caught

[Luopio27]

Public sex life?

[Manuel2]

It is clear he is noring you. Do try to bring a little danger to your life. Dogging or public sex life will give him or you the courage to speak your mind

[Anonymous]

Dump him and find a guy that doesn't give a shit about you and who will cheat on you. That's what women want.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Breakup, you're obviously not compatible.

[mommymommymommy]

Does he have a life outside of you?

[Noodle_fan]

it is not normal , does he even work?

[Jltakk]

I'd consider you a bit lucky to be honest.

[Cheerfull009]

You change your boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Don't get married.

[Anonymous]

You both need hobbies.

[SolitarySolace]

Break up?