Would you stay in a serious relationship if you stopped being sexually compatible?

[Anonymous]

Me and my partner been together several years now. We're married. Live together. Have a baby together almost 1 year old.

I finally bit the bullet and told him something happened that we wouldn't be sexually compatible anymore. I didn't want, didn't choose it, but I couldn't just pretend it wasn't happening anymore.

He said he already suspected, but had decided to stay in the relationship if I was okay with not having sex in it, because we're still married and love each other. I said I was, but wasn't sure how long we could do that for. He agreed it couldn't last forever, but that we could make it last for a while longer anyway.

I didn't expect that response. I was kinda scared he'd just end it as soon as he knew it would likely have to end eventually—apparently he was scared I'd do the same. What would you have done in that kind of situation?

I would leave.

I would stay for now, but not forever.

I would stay forever.

[provokeesmokee]

Just had this happen for me, actually.

I broke up with my first girlfriend because I had overheard her speaking about some sexual kinks I enjoy with disgust and reluctance.

I know my kinks aren't for everyone, and I respect that.

But I'm not about to deny myself something I like. Tbh, when I met her, she was still learning about her sexuality despite being nearly 40yo. Turns out that's for a reason: being raised sheltered isn't easy for a gay woman who happens to also be asexual.

She learned she was ace and I got the feeling things weren't going to come around to sex at all, despite an earlier dalliance into intimacy with her.

That's valid and fine, though, and I wanted us both to be happy. I want that sex in my life, and I'm not about to force that on someone.

Likewise, I'm not about to force myself to deny my own wants or needs. It wouldn't be fair and it would lead to resentment.

Better end early and try to salvage a friendship than tear any hope of relationship apart, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

This is a toughy because while you aren't sexually compatible anymore right now, whose to say you guys won't rekindle the flame later on down the line? I say try to push through it and see where it goes. If it doesn't seem like anything is changing after a few months, then I think it's time to call it quits. Love without sex can work but only for so long imho.

[Nikki1989]

No, that would never work for me.

[Wise4myage]

No, I would see no reason for doing that.