Would it be ok to ask her "are we ok" or tell her "Just want to make sure everything is OK between us"?

[waldo87]

We're both 31. She has had a rough time losing her job recently and I want to be mindful of that but she's pretty much distanced herself from me in that time, only answering texts very short or not answering like the last time. I bumped into her last week and she seemed, ok treated me like always and was happy to see me. Texted to tell her I was happy to see her again and she didn't respond

She told me she just has to "keep pushing forward" about a month ago and that she is stressed, plus dealing with health issues, and I certainly don't want to make it about me but I'm insecure about it. We're friends but we've been intimate before and had been getting close again when she lost her job.

I don't want to lose her by doing nothing or doing too much. She's called us best friends before and I don't know if I have been that enough

I'm also leaving for a trip all of July and don't want to leave loose ends. I just want to tell her I having her around, or asking her if we can talk about what's happening. Express how I feel, which I've failed to do in the past

Any suggestion is appreciated

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

it's super affirming when a guy asks if we're ok because that means he cares about the state of the relationship. she won't be annoyed, but expect an honest answer. just try and be the rock of the relationship. stay solid.

[waldo87]

I'm ok with an hones answers, what I'm scared of is an inconclusive one, or no answer at all. I care about us a lot and HOPE she does too, she's shown that before but the more times passes the more doubts I have

How can I be the rock and still ask her if we're ok though?

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

because you'll be there for her no matter what the answer is. you can be steady and confident and still have questions to ask to make sure she's ok. I'm sure she'll appreciate it

[waldo87]

Hadn't seen it that way. I hope I react well no matter the answer, I'm sure I will, but the whole situation has me doubting myself

How can I ask her in a confident way?

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

just say "hey, I just want to make sure you're ok with our relationship and ok in general. if you want to talk about anything, I'm here"

[waldo87]

Sounds siimple enough. Doesn't it kinda of feel like I'm not caring about her if I say "and ok in general"

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

no, to me it makes it seem like you don't just care about her as your partner but also as a person in general

[waldo87]

Makes sense. I guess I just want the perfect message to make sure she does answer this time. She's not my partner though, we've gotten close and gone out but not quite partners, at least not yet

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

ok that makes sense. I'm sure it'll be ok, you seem like a decent person

[waldo87]

It's been almost a day since I told her and she hasn't responded. Sucks, but at least I got that out of me

[In_Trance]

how much time do you have?