So I had a one night stand with this guy on NYE almost 2 years ago. It resulted in me having a baby. Well I was living with my ex at the time of getting pregnant and I was still hooking up on occasion with my ex. So when I found out i was pregnant, I didn’t exactly know who the father was. My ex and I agreed to get back together and he would raise the child. He told me he didn’t want to do paternity because he just didn’t want to know. I always felt bad and like I should let the other guy know and my daughter if it was his or not. I ended up doing the paternity after her 1st birthday and it came back to be the other guy and not my ex. I was shocked and had mixed emotions. My ex was very crushed. I told him I still didn’t wish to take her away from him, and he stuck around for a little until he found a girl recently and cut my daughter and I out of his life. Well the baby daddy and I have been back and forth with feelings and being sexual with each other. I also pushed him and pressured him after him finding out my daughter was his as well, and it’s pushed him away. I recently asked him though if he’s ever thought of doing stuff with me and he said yeah I do.. but we’ve only had sex once and kissed a couple times.. is there hope for us you think? Like if I truly back off and work on myself and let him pursue me?
Someone tell me what this guy wants?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
it sounds like you have both had complicated and emotional experiences over the past two years. It may be best to take some time to work on yourself and focus on being the best mother you can be to your daughter. If there is a chance for a future relationship with the baby's father, it may come more easily if both of you have taken time to heal and reflect on what you want in your lives. It may also be helpful to have honest conversations about your feelings and what you both want in a relationship. Ultimately, the most important thing is to prioritize the well-being and happiness of your daughter.
Very true! Thank you so much!
Hope for him to want to fuck u sure wanting to be with u for family nope
Well he said we could do family shit together, but I push him too much and that makes him not want to do it.
Lol yes he said it so he must be telling the truth sure thing I'm sure he wants to do as u out it family shit lol
We’ve already done family stuff together with our daughter but then I started pushing him and pressuring him and we stopped.
Doing some family stuff don't make him see it as staying with u and being a family lol u think any parent gets nagged and just decides to quit what he is already showing u here is if any issues happen or arise he will just bounce
So now your daughter has a father who will come in and out of her life
He’s not that type of guy who would ever do that to her. I know that for a fact.
So whats he doing at the moment 😅
What do you mean?
U said u pushed him away so how could he be pushed away but still in your daughters life
I pushed him away as far as him wanting to pursue more with me.. and pressuring him to do family things together. He said if I stopped ramming everything down his throat then he’d be willing to do more together.
So he is still in her life but don't want to do what with u?
Yes he is. He has her as much as he can. He’s in the military for another 6 years. He doesn’t want me to push him or pressure him to commit to me and push a relationship when he’s not ready for that. He also hasn’t been in a relationship for 10 years because he’s been hurt and cheated on.
So I was basically just wondering if him admitting to having sexual thoughts about me was a step in the right direction since he is the type who doesn’t even say how he’s feeling ever.
Having sexual feelings is not the same as romantic feelings tho he can think about sleeping with u and not being with u
Yeah I realize that. He’s just not admitted to having even sexual feelings for me still since finding out we have a daughter together.
But u have kissed and had sex since woukdnt that confirm it
We’ve kissed a couple times.. but not sex. He just hasn’t opened up about any of that since he found out about our daughter.. so I was just really surprised when he said he has thought about that stuff with me and what it would be like.
Oh my bad when u said sec Ince I thought u meant after the act to be honest tho it's not surprising that he still would have sexual thoughts about u he has hooked up before and is still attracted to u enough to kiss u
Yeah.. we haven’t kissed since like September of last year lol so I’m just not sure what he has really thought of me.. he tends to not really tell me what he’s thinking. He says he’s not a feelings type of guy. He doesn’t even tell his feelings to his family.
Fair enough
We’ve hugged a lot.. so what do you think he’s doing based on what you know? Do you think he maybe has more feelings but doesn’t like to be pushed to talk about it and pressured? That possibly when I truly back off and focus on my life it’ll come together?
Its possible but with so little no I wouldn't be willing to say things will just work out
Yeah I need to just go with the flow and see where it takes us.
Pretty much
Thank you for your advice!
Good luck hope it works out for u and your daughter
Thank you. I know it will! :)
Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex.
That was love and marriage.
Women wanted freedom and equality.
This is what freedom and equality looks like.
Yeah I don’t care for it lol