Did you ever break up because you couldn't see eye to eye and were always in disagreement?

[YesterdaysChild]

For a relationship to work, you have to be on the same page. You also have to compromise sometimes, even if you disagree on certain things. So, did this ever happen to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure a lot of people because they aren't aware of how to be on the same page.

If you ask someone they probably would tell you being on the same page is agreeing with one another. Fit is more about agreeing. People have to be a good fit. If you aren't a good fit and you're unaware of how to stay on the same page... Your relationship will end. Even if you fit but you're arguing all the time that is a sign you two are never on the same page. You agree but you're not on the same page with each other nor the way you want your relationship to actually be most likely.

It's pretty simple but it requires a knowledge of how to use your mind and discipline. Most people probably think the mind is the brain.

[TheSpaceGnome]

"For a relationship to work, you have to be on the same page." = true

"You also have to compromise sometimes, even if you disagree on certain things." = false

You can either be yourself and be on the same page and get along, or you can disagree and compromise, but you can't do both, and the latter is toxic for relationships.

People need to agree on just about everything for a relationship to last.

[YesterdaysChild]

A marriage has a lot of compromises to it. Some as simple as one wanting Chinese and one Mexican food. Someone has to give in and agree to what the other wants instead of their own aka:compromise. Being on the same page usually deals with deeper things. Do we go to your mothers or mine for Christmas? Do we want a baby or not.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You live in an entirely different world...

If each person wants different food atm, then you just order both.

I'm not religious, and if I were, I'm not family oriented, so any holidays would be at home, not at a parent's house.

I don't want kids ever, and the choice to have or not have kids is something you bring up BEFORE dating, let alone marriage...

[YesterdaysChild]

Not anything wrong with not wanting kids, but I think most women want kids. It would be hard to find one not wanting kids. I guess it depends on what you want out of life.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Women who don't want kids are actually fairly common, whats rare is hot women who are good at gaming and art and science that also don't want kids, don't have kids, and don't drink alcohol or smoke, etc. that want monogamy and aren't already taken, and in the US.

So yes, I have very limited options with all those requirements, but I only need 1 wife.

Even if I had wanted kids though, thats still something me and her would need to agree on.

[YesterdaysChild]

You definitely have a "no-fly" list there. I think this is where compromising is in order. That or be alone I guess. If you can't flex a little you can wind up broken.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nah, those things aren't even the full list, thats just most of the dealbreaker ones (she also has to not do any other drugs, and she has to like anime/cartoons, and share my taste in music, and be the type to like dinosaurs, cats, reptiles, insects, arachnids, etc, and isn't a travel junkie, and Comprimising on those is foolish.

People always refer to relationships as give and take, but love isn't about utility. It's about common interests and shared experiences, so the person should basically be just like you (mentally), or divorce/short lifespan is certain (basically you will either get fed up and leave or die from a stress induced heart attack if you can't be yourself 24/7 without the other person being annoyed or feeling neglected or out of place).

A working relationship is the "two peas in a pod" mentality, where anytime you say something about yourself, they say "me too". (At least for anything of "quality of life" value that would interfere with spending time together if done anyway). Think of it like msking friends, you usually only make friends with people who share your hobbies and interests, and you only tend to stay friends with them if they also share your opinions/views, and it's wise to only select from one of those to date, provided, in my case, that it's a woman, and I find her physically attractive.

My biggesr roadblocks are that most women lack any actual hobbies and interests, and a lit of people stupidly separate dating from friends and go on dates with complete strangers while foolishly expecting anything good to come of it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

making*

[YesterdaysChild]

With every stipulation you make the odds increase against you.

[TheSpaceGnome]

In terms of adding stipulations resulting in reducing odds, Its not technically an odds thing, its a search sufficiency thing.

Odds are about random chance, and It's usually impossible for anyone to find a match by random chance.

I only need 1 wife, so I only need to find 1 woman who fits the above criteria. worryong about odds more than compatibility would be foolish. What I should worry about, is some way to socialize with likeminded people.

[TheSpaceGnome]

worrying*

[YesterdaysChild]

OK, then you are willing to Compromise if she doesn't meet all your preferences. True, you most likely will not find that person by chance, but you would have to be actively looking for that "soul mate if you will", person for a long long time. You may find one close when you are 80. The longer you list of must haves the less your chances are. It's the law of odds.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Compromise? no, I'm willing to wait until I find what I'm looking for is what I meant, even if she is time consuming and difficult to find.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I won't find one at 80, it will probably be within the next 3 years.

[exitseven]

I think it was a contributing factor. After a while I realized we really did not have much in common. She was a real party type and I was going to college trying to get a career going and working part time to pay for it all. She just did not get it.

[TaureanBull81]

When a partner has a short temper and they can never be wrong about anything then you know that they're not right for you!

[TaureanBull81]

Thanks for the upvote @YesterdaysChild 😁

[YesterdaysChild]

I have to agree.