My boyfriend seems to be pocketing me, any advice?

[Anonymous]

I am 21 he is 20. I'm his first relationship, just for context we live seperatly with our familys.

We met in Jan. 2023 and became exclusive April 10, 2023.

In the first month or two of dating we had a conversation. He expressed to me that he's hesitant to introduce me to his family because of my size. (I'm 5'3 and 190lbs, lost 70lbs prior to meeting him.) This made me feel like I was 600lbs and didn't care for myself. I have PCOS so I naturally hold more weight and my condition makes it hard to lose. Even though I put in the effort it made me feel invalidated. I know I'm a beautiful woman, I know my worth so this made me question why he'd be with me in the first place.

Now when he said that it should've been a dealbreaker but at the time and even now there's a lot of value in the relationship aside from this so it didn't seem reasonable to just break up.

There was another time we were calling and i asked him if there was anything he would change about me what would it be, he said if i skinnier but that would be the only thing.

All of this really messed me up mentally, I spiraled for a short bit and eventually we talked and he ended up reassuring me and I felt better. But its something that is still bothering me on and off. I haven't met his family still and its starting to make me upset and question things.

Since we dont have our own places we spend a lot of time just hanging out in eachothers cars and its not fulfilling. I have welcomed him to my home and to meet my family, so that he could spend more time with me at my place but he hasn't taken any serious initiative to actually come do that.

We go out to places and he seems fine and he's always polite. Opens doors for me etc, always pays. It's confusing because he treats me good but the things he said make me feel like shit. It seems he's pocketing me from his social circle and family. I assume out of fear of criticism.

Why would a man willingly choose a woman when he's embarassed of her appearance?

[ohsheeT]

I'm sorry that you have to go through this but what I'm really sorry for is that you were motivated you lost 70 lb and then he basically put it on to you he wouldn't introduce you to his family parents or friends not unless you lost more weight which I would think would make you stress and get your body in metabolism all messed up I can't tell you what to do I know what I would do instead of sitting around in each other's car not doing anything get out and walk and talk if you really wanted to help you lose weight or if you really wanted you to lose weight or if you really loved you and wanted to help you he would say come on let's go for a walk if you walk 30 minutes a day for 30 days at a fast pace your body will lose weight because a lot of it's water and you have to drink lots of water quit drinking sodas carbonation juices all that stuff just drink water eat better foods quit eating fast foods it's worse thing in the world for you don't even drink bottled water get filtered water from your house but what you need to do is you need to do something for yourself not because of his parents not because that's what he tells you to do you need to do it for yourself because I guarantee you one day you're going to be kicking him to the curb because somebody else who treats you the right way will run into you the one day and love you the way you are but yes lose the weight if it's holding you back from being yourself lose it it's a tough job it's hard to do I understand that but once you get motivated and once you get your body moving you will burn calories when you sleep if you move each and every day if you were to lay on the grass and roll around get up on your knees stand up get back down on your knees roll around in different positions you know how much energy that takes you know how quick you would tone up you walk 30 minutes a day for 30 days lay down on the lawn roll around stand up in different ways it's a battle but do it battle yourself in life it's our choice we want to be we get to choose who we want to be by the things we say and do do this for yourself now because it gets harder as you get older but become the person that you want to become for yourself not for anybody else

[Decoded93]

Don't go parking with him again until he apologizes and introduces you to his family, he'll be desperate to get to do that again with you

[petitedollbabee]

You deserve so much better than that, sorry to say. At this rate I don’t think you’re ever going to get what you want in your relationship. If he’s already acting this way not even 6 months into the relationship, it’s only going to get worse. You haven’t been together long and he’s already showing poor behaviour… my honest advice would be to cut your losses while it’s still early. You deserve a man who will love you and treat you well regardless of your size. You’re not even that overweight but he’s acting as if you’re obese! And you have a medical condition that makes it harder, he should be sympathetic, not making you feel worse. And the fact that he’s hiding you from his loved ones… big yikes. When someone shows that sort of behaviour this early on in a relationship, it’s a hint at how much worse it’s going to get later in the relationship.

[rukus88]

OP, LOOK at this woman's name and ask yourself if she really means what she is saying and if she has your best interest in mind. This could not be a better example of what I said in my post. Easy for her to have this opinion from her point of privilege

[petitedollbabee]

Regardless of anyone’s name or intentions, I give my opinion. That’s what the site is for.

[rukus88]

LOL, what if your name was Hitler and your intention was to kill a bunch of jews? Should people be listening to your "opinions" then? You got called out, plain, simple.

[petitedollbabee]

Get a life.

[rukus88]

He is afraid you will let yourself go after commiting, or he is waiting to see if you slim down to a satisfactory level. This matters to him because he sees you as a potential wife and mother of his children, who he wants to be healthy. Unfortunently modern feminism has lied to women and told them that being overweight doesn't make them undesirable. STOP asking woman about what men desire!!! or he only wants you for sex.