I need girls opinion about special someone in your life?

[Jakoesu]

Hi, so I have this special girl in my life and we're both special to each other, my question is, if I'm special to her, would you ever ignore me? Even if you're busy with work and not social media all the time? Because I'm kinda getting tired of being ignored and she likes to post up things and ignores me when I need her to be there for me when I'm upset or feeling really low. But when she's comes to me, I'm always there for her, helping her with everything because I care and love her but when I go her, is just a different story and I get upset and angry at her because she ignores me. We texted a lots of times and we only communicate on texting. I tried to get her to talk on the phone but she's always saying she's busy, even when I try to plan something with her, same thing again.

I don't know, girls, give me your opinion and advice, if you have someone special in your life, would you ever ignore them?

I appreciate the help from you all if you do answer. I'm really new here starting today

Even if guys answer and have this same problem, let me know what you all have to say and thanks!

Updates

9 mo

Will still like more people to comment what you have to say. It really would help!

[Alli39]

She's probably not valuing you the way you value her. Talk to her about it, on the off chance she wants to and hasn't realized she's not, but if her behavior doesn't change then it's safe to assume that you're putting more work into the relationship than she is. You might be comfortable doing that short term (I generally am), but long term it tends ot be a pretty unhealthy situation and won't be good for you. You might need to cut her off/emotionally distance yourself.

I'm currently dealing with a friendship that seems to be headed in this direction. I was super supportive of the person for the past few months, but now they're "too busy" (with a lot of really valid concerns and responsibilities) to even let me know that they're too busy to respond to my messages. After a three week period of radio silence I finally got fed up. We argued and they spent the entire conversation focused on the idea that I'd thought the ghosting was intentional rather than the fact that I was hurt by it. Sometimes people just aren't in the position to return the care they receive and it's better to stop giving it. Allowing yourself to be taken for granted won't actually help anyone. If she really values you, she'll make an effort.

[Jakoesu]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same path as me. I really appreciate you responding so quickly and giving me answers to really understand, thank you🫶

I hope this person that your going through with, explain his or her side of the story of why they been ghosting you.

And your right about putting more work in the relationship. I've been putting way too much work into it and all I get is a thank you which I really appreciate and that she tells me personal stuff but something like this, she still doesn't bother to get back to me after work. Like I understand we all need our space but we just started talking again since Friday and is been since Wednesday that's she's been giving me little texts and ever since then, haven't heard from her. Ugh I just hate this anger, frustrating feeling. But thank you again for taking your time to tell me

[Jakoesu]

And plus, she tells me that she doesn't intentionally mean to do that to me, like upset me but she always does it anyways and there are times that I get tired of it and like want to ignore her but then that'll upset her

[Alli39]

No problem on the response rate. I just come here for a distraction anyway.

I more or less know why he's ghosting me. He's just someone who has trouble focusing on things that aren't directly in front of him and is generally kind of flaky. It's not that I didn't know, I just didn't think it would be this bad. When we do message, he's friendly, says he likes speaking to me, etc, but he obviously just doesn't have it in him to think about me in the meantime. She's probably similar. She may not mean to but the fact of the matter is that she may not be considering your feelings. You deserve friendships/relationships where the other person can and wants to be considerate. You don't have to cut her out of your life, but I don't think she's acting in a way that merits your unconditional support at the moment.

[Jakoesu]

Yeah cause she's really kind and friendly to me. I mean I really don't want to cut her out of my life but sometimes I can tell that she seriously needs me to be there if something happened but supports from her, is not enough but I give her a lot of support. I wish she would like actually listen to my feelings and understand why I'm sad but she never bothers to respond and so, I get angry at her

[Alli39]

You're angry because you're putting in effort that you're not seeing returned. It's normal. if you haven't already, you can try talking to her about it once, but know that she probably won't understand. If she understood she'd be acting differently now. I'd suggest choosing situationally whether or not to give her your time and energy when she asks. If my friend came to me with a legitimate problem he needed help with, I'd probably still help him, but I'm currently committed to not putting anything more into him by choice than he directly asks for. I'd love him to someday recognize how much I was willing to do for him, but in the meantime he can't and there's not reason to get hurt just because he can't see past the end of his nose. Start putting up boundaries for yourself. Choose when you'll speak to her and what you're willing to respond to. Instead of ignoring to her for the sake of it, designate times/days/states of mind in which you'll respond to her. Don't volunteer yourself for things. Let her ask, if she never does then that's that.

[Jakoesu]

You know me well now:) you are right, that I am putting all the effort and not seeing them in returned. At this point, when I saw that and valued, it makes me think about I'm not being seen, heard and valued.

I see what you're saying about try talking to her about it. I never really did because I can never find the reason why I get sooo angry at her. Most of the time when I'm angry at her, I be completely honest with her and sometimes I don't be completely honest because I'm scare to push her away again. Meaning like not talk to me for a week and that's normal and really tiring and unpatient for me because i don't like waiting. Like I know I can other things like gaming but now and days, gaming is boring and all I can pretty much do is, think about her the whole day and maybe outside for a bit and go for a walk. But yeah you right, she would've act differently by now if I mentioned why but now I know why. Thank you, you really know how I feel and now that I understand more from you, it makes a lot of sense of where I'm at.

I've been hurted a lot by her but I've never been hurt for awhile starting July. Last time I was hurted was mother's day when she was supposed to drive down to me and that got ruined because she had to work on mothers day which is understandable but that's when I got Completely honest with her about how upset and angry I was at her

[Jakoesu]

I really appreciate you taking your time talking to me, helping me with what I'm going through. I couldn't done it myself, thanks to you!!

[Alli39]

No problem! I hope you all sort it out, but if you don't that's ok too. Sometimes we meet the right people at the wrong times in our lives and we just never manage to sinc up, and sometimes we meet the wrong people and just need a minute to realize they aren't the right people after all.

[Jakoesu]

I hope so too, I don't really know what to say but I have like a whole bunch of thing that I typed down in my notes. I just hope that she realize that I'm not being treated fairly enough that I treat her so well enough

[Jakoesu]

Should I talk to her about what causes me to be angry at her or should she ask questions?

[Alli39]

You can never assume that someone else sees how their actions are affecting you. Humans are too stupid for that lol. Pick your battles, don't come at her with a laundry list of complaints, but it's ok to approach her with general concerns. Make sure that when you do speak to her you avoid accusatory statements and focus on convey how you feel about her actions or lack thereof. She may not realize what you want out of your friendship and that you don't feel like you're getting it. If she responds negatively to the conversation or doesn't make a change moving forward to make sure that you're also receiving in the relationship, it's definitely time to reconsider how much of your time and mind you give her. Communication is good, just know that things might not turn out the way you hope and that you need to see if she actually changes her behavior. Actions speak louder than words.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

If you can’t tell whether or not she cares about you, chances are she doesn’t. When people love one another, it’s obvious they love one another. It doesn’t sound like she likes you as much as you like her. A girl in love wants to spend time with her guy, wants to talk with her guy, and be there for him. I’m sorry my friend, but this relationship is a little too one-sided.

[Jakoesu]

Yeah, that's how I'm seeing it so far about one sided because everytime I try to talk to her about my feelings, she ignores it and I get angry at her for it. And her asking me to help buy her a gift, I don't mind but when it becomes over doing it, is a problem and after I help her with money, she just ignores me after so yeah, I can see it well enough is one sided

[Iron_Man]

If a girl likes you a lot she won’t ignore you unless she’s so used to. You she will get around to you later which is rude. Unless you’re talking a lot

[Jakoesu]

I've been talking to her a lot, most of the times she skips all the other messages because she can't get to it which sounds like a excuses to me. But yeah, I talk to her a lot but she usually takes a long time to reply back, and sometimes I think she has me on muted for messages but when I say something like don't upset me, she responds it right away and just doesn't bother to say anything.

[Iron_Man]

Where is this at social media? You can always tell her why the long delays and see what she says.

[Iron_Man]

What country is she from? Have you seen her in person yet?

[Jakoesu]

Facebook and Instagram. I basically check every 20 minutes to an hour to look at the time stamp that she posts up and I screenshot it everytime. She doesn't know I look at her stories on Instagram because my iPhone is hacked to like look her story without her knowing that I look at it

[Jakoesu]

We only like an hour from each other. In person, we've been wanting to since may but she had work that day and ruined it for me because I had my hopes really high and excitement. And we texted through our numbers, not social media if that's what you meant

[Iron_Man]

Have you ever heard her voice she lives an hour away from you is this in America or foreign country

[Jakoesu]

Yes, I heard her voice before, we've talked on the phone a few times this year, not a whole lot but a lot would help with our understanding

[Iron_Man]

Try to set up a date

[In_Trance]

Doesn't seem very special if you're being ignored. When was the last time you had sex with her?

[SandandWaves]

does your heart feel like this a little?

https://www.youtube.com/embed/5XJe1g9MQoQ

[Nikki1989]

If she can waste time on texting, she can find time to talk.

[heeeter]

Wait for a signal. You will know the signal.