Can we Love and Fully Trust Someone We Met Online?

Question

My mother always told me that it is extremely dangerous to make friends online, so I got scared and stopped talking to all my online friends. Growing up, I realized maybe it is not that dangerous and I could have had perfect friendships from all around the world. What do you think? Is it possible to have perfect friendships/relationships online?

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Yeah, don’t. I beg you lol

I was trying to bargain that: maybe other people from OTHER countries would take it serious, and it’s only Americans who don’t take the friendship online seriously, but people from other countries don’t talk to people online in the same way as they would to someone in their own community.

I assure you no one takes it seriously. It’s not practical because if you’re looking to date- guys online won’t like it for the mere reason it’s not in-person touching, and they don’t like to talk A LOTT or about everything a girl would want to.

Time differences for ‘working people’ in different countries make talking that much harder, so it would be difficult to get to know someone who was actually “taking it serious,” and the thing is, again- no one takes it serious. 😂

Either they text one word messages, and do a sloppy job of “not caring,” or they become authors and writers, perfecting their “social skills,” but never meaning the best: of long term friendships or dating. (Not caring).

Yeah, some wouldn’t want you to commit or kys; they don’t want you to be struggling, but that’s just the “human nature” part of them. They wouldn’t ever help in those cases. Those who do, would be trying to seriously GET SOMETHING out of it.

Social media is called SOCIAL media for a reason. It’s just a social thing. You will never experience affections, aid/assistance/ human presence/ companionship via sex or anything close to it. You’ll never experience people who truly care and go out of their way for you on social media because if this were a resume… everyone who uses social media over 18 is lazy and hesitant and selfish… myself included. It means we went online instead of in-person to meet up with people and didn’t go out of our way to shake hands.

I don’t care what people work as or have accomplished. If they make enough money or not, using social media itself should be a red flag. No one who uses it will ever cancel their plans to help you or prioritize you. These are the people who seek convenience and if you care? You’ll be putting in 10x more work into the relationships than they would be. It will be 100% one sided for the person who cares about how the relationship works and where it goes.

You’re seriously better off local or traveling. When people can invest some ‘in-person time’ to a relationship, they may be more likely to care “when things get rough,” and not just pass it up like some tinder thing or a skip box, on YouTube, for ads…

It can be convincing. A lot of them can be deceiving. It can be entertaining. You’ll want to believe it on low moments.

All you can get from people online is some •different ideas •jokes or •words of encouragement, and maybe some •advice or •tips.

Nothing aside from that. And if you look- look closely… it costs us NOTHING to give advice, our own two cents, and it’s second nature to tell anyone not to commit suicide.

The real toxic ones would say just do it, but you know, that’s just how this technological ball spins. 🤷‍♀️

Don't bet on this. Don’t bet on it to save your life, and it’s difficult because you may feel all these real and raw emotions, but they- on their end- will be completely neutral, and they KNOW they would never meet up or step it up, so that would leave you breaking inside and betrayed.

Listen, it’s a recipe to get hurt, and for “phase two” or the other side of the coin- 🪙 those who seem genuine and keep that “look” for ehhhh.. a few days, maybe a COUPLE of weeks and want (ed) to meet up, you’d still have to see if they were faking it and waiting for the in-person thing to get stuff or later just show their true colors.

Also would have to be careful it wasn’t a scam, be able to afford the meet up, and ensure your own safety and privacy is kept. It doesn’t work if you don’t have the finances to meet up ALL the time. If you want to be ‘live friends’ or date someone, states away or countries away, you both wouldn’t have the free time to meet up, nor the finances, unless you were- I don't know, Jeff bezos or Elon musk. You would still have to keep it local unless you were already considering a move close-by to them, aside from having talked to them.

Moving close by would still have its risks and headaches/heartaches if they knew your location and it ended up NOT working out.

So keep the meet-ups with local stuff or hobbies/work MAYBE/ or local stores, and such.

It’s risky and 9 times out of 10 or more like 9 and 3/4s out of 10 it’s not genuine. All I’m saying is genuine, not even talking about toxicity, cat phishing, sex industry, or human trade. My numbers up there is a feel-guesstimate, but just about right, and I’m someone who wanted to use technology for this purpose you talk of- and I wanted to find a plethora of people to link up with and let me tell you sis-

I have had a LOTTT of heartaches and headaches. With people online. I can also confidently tell you I don’t talk to any one person ☝️ I have talked to years ago, today. I think I had started literally skimming through, digging, sifting, analyzing, searching and such, trying to have purest motives, since age 14. That’s 6 years.

People from Greece, France, Brazil, Trinidad and Tobago, china, Serbia, Sweden, Germany, Switzerland, Persia, Egypt, Africa, India, Pakistan, Iran, Bangladesh, Australia, England, Mexico, Argentina, Chile, Portugal, Hawaii, Canada, Cali, New York, Florida, Texas, Montana, Ohio, Georgia, Dakotas, Carolina’s, Jersey.

Not every place, but pretty close. Some I don’t think I even remember. Very diversified. Not everyone from there, but a lot of no-goodie goodies. Who talked well- those who could speak English and those with broken English.

Now I’ll show you the demographics of their careers, which gives insight to their mind a bit-

Accountants, Nurses, Doctors, Software Engineers, Store Owners, work from home, self-owning businesses, construction workers, private business people, military people, basic register employees and store or fast food workers, sales representatives, and maybe a few more I don’t recall. Oh yeah, some teachers.

Higher-end jobs aren’t up to talking with just anyone, they’re usually busy with life in-person, but you’ll meet a few who will chat and it would still amount to nothing… unless you’re looking for a job and going through a loop hole or so, lol.

Now finally religions:

Islam, Buddhism (very few), Hinduism, Catholicism, Christianity, Satanists, energy people, a few dark ones or earthy ones, Atheists, few agnostics, and 1% trying to make their own religion- either jokingly (sexual ones), or seriously.

These are the people I have spoken to and I can honestly tell you they were somewhat interesting, but very much the same- they will talk to you about

identity and lifestyle/ memes../ sexting/ roleplay/ nxdes/ 1% meet ups to fuck or go on a single date.. which leads to you know.. or just meet up to get right to it.

Try it if you want, 🤷‍♀️ but it’s not a game- your emotions, goals, priorities, beliefs, and your time.

These people will never put yours before their own. If you want something genuine or so, you will definitely NOT walk away without catching some kind of feelings/ or unscathed.

You have to be ready for the emotional backlash. None of them are worth staying up for, either. It’ll mess up your sleeping schedule- MORE so, if it’s already tweaked, and it’ll definitely interfere then, with your job/school/ FAMILY/ friends/ and your state of happiness/well-being because it would be time away from YOUR routine (s), and/or self care.

Stick to your routine and find someone to join you on that. Hikes? Find a hike buddy. Praying at a mosque? Find a mosque buddy. Don’t change up your WHOLE routine, day, or week for someone who lives DIFFERENT (ly) than you do, upholds their own beliefs and expects you to accept that, or will never want to meet up with you anyways.

The only good thing you could gain is some texting to see where people are at mentally/emotionally in the current year (2k23). What others do in their lifestyles. (Somewhat like a survey, or so). Words of uplift, when you may be down a bit, but that’s about it.

BasedBaeBecca · Accepted Answer

It is possible to have perfect friendships or relationships online, yes.

However, it is also important to be cautious and safe while making friends online.

It's important to remember that you can't always know someone's true intentions or their real personality behind the screen. So it's good to be cautious, but not to be too paranoid either.

I've made a lot of friends online over the years. Some have lasted and some have ended, but I can say that it's definitely possible to have a perfect friendship online. Just remember to be safe and smart about it.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I can see where your mother's coming from and she has your best interest in her heart.

That's her job is to protect you and she only knows what she knows. Not a bad thing

But for me I have meant a lot of lot of good people I've had a lot of fun crazy fun online with people that I have meant. I still chat with people I meant 15 ,20 years ago online. Add me
I will be friend
The thing you have to watch out for are the scammers.

I don't know if girls have the same thing that the guys have with scammers

We have girls that send us a message they want to know your name
What you do for a living if you have kids.
And it's as if they're reading it from a script because it all happens the same way.

When you tell them what city you live in
Their messages go cold for a minute and then they will send you back a message telling you they live in the same city or one right next door to you,

And then they want to do a hookup LOL. And then they say well but I charge..
And that's when I say oh really why don't you send me your menu I'll send you my menu let's see who has the higher prices LOL
And you don't get a message for a minute 2 minutes because their head spinning they don't know what to say.
But they will try again and you say well send me your prices I'll send you mine let's see who has the higher prices and then they stop bugging you
I think for meeting people you should have fun experience it because it is a blast with the right person.

But you always have to watch out for though is people trying to scam you don't even communicate with them really.

But always be weary too don't give your email address to somebody and your phone number to that same person until you really get to know them because with both of those it makes it easier for them to try to get into your computer
I have also found that all these scammers they want you to go to WhatsApp to talk I don't know if that has anything to do with anything but I don't go there
I don't know if it has anything to do with anything but for me I get a bad vibe about it so I just don't go there

Other than the girl scammers like I said I don't know if you guys have them or not with guys

But I've had a blast online I've met some very good people some crazy people some fun people some sexy people I've had some good good experiences and in life you have to experience something before you can understand it is what I always say

Losalt · Accepted Answer

Yes, you *can*.
But that doesn't mean that just anyone is trustworthy.
Stay a bit extra on the alert when online.
When text only you don't have emotions etc to help you work out what they're thinking and saying.
Emotions we usually pick up from voice, body language and facial expressions.
Once you got video chat going it's *slightly* more trustworthy, but with modern technology it's still possible to fake the weirdest things.
Long term relationships online just isn't something scammers etc really do.
And you can *slowly* start to trust them more.
But still, be careful with what you do.
Nudes you share may stay online forever.
Even if its a video call it's possible to screenshot the call.
With money...
Well, I personally have choosen to help people even when I know that it's *probably* a scam because I feel like harming someone who *really* need help is worse then losing money to a scam that I can afford to lose...
But only when using methods they can't do themselves.
So no pictures of bank cards etc.
When meeting someone from online make sure that you meet up in public where people know where you are etc.
At least to begin with.
Leave a paper trail.
Just in case.
And take your time trusting people.

Be careful with downloading any files from anyone online till you really trust them as it might compromise the security of your computer and *anything* you do with it.
From using web cameras, microphones, online banking, websites you use, instant messaging services, and in the case of phones, your location services.

That said.
I've meet people online who I've had long-term friendships and relationships with.
Meet in person.
Talked about marriage with etc.

And I've been in touch with some online people for decades.

And just like in real life they range from aquatintances to close friends.

You shouldn't be scared of meeting people online or forming close bonds to people online.

But take everything with a grain of salt for the first few months as a minimum.

As for anyone that thinks that you can form close emotional bonds with people online, they're just dead wrong.

But it *is* more difficult and you both have to work more on it.

So yeah...

AviatorTom · Answer

There's nothing really different between meeting someone online and meeting someone at the grocery store. They both start out a strangers... until you get to know them. And until you do get to know them and develop trust, you make sure you are always safe.

So the answer to the question is YES... not immediately, it takes time.

Sonorous · Answer

Honestly, unless I'm the friend, I'd be worried too. Most people just aren't like me. Sadly.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I trust people that my spirit tells me I can trust cause I have discernment.

Walt832 · Answer

Umm to certain degree. Why?

Is fine to have friends online BUT... Is not the same having a physical friend (s). You can be so socially online. Your question will be, is it the same?

It can be but not as close. In person you can see and do things together. From body language to adventures in town. Compare online just taking pic, selfies and showing them where you have been and ate, alone.

If you taking about online and met up is fine but first. Know if the are legitimate is been a while y'all have been chitchatting and video chat, know she is in town. Chances are if y'all meet you may get to know, her physical friends. Then you may not need online because you met new people. (Technically that was the purpose to connect people in town and hang out). Unfortunately, some people may miss you use it.

Oooooh as boyfriend and girlfriend 😂 snaaaaap 🤣🤣🤣. No. I mean may but ummm now days. Is a whole different topic. So yeah 😂 mom is right on that one. I will still suggest is best to met someone in the group of friends or may come across with someone, aka love first sight.

BCRanger10 · Answer

If you meet them on a dating website, then of course you can. That's what the entire thing is directed towards. You'll meet each other in person at some point (sooner rather than later, I'd hope). Sure, people can lie about anything, but the same is true if you meet them in person.

As for random strangers you meet on the internet on a place like G@G, I think you can as well. I just think it depends on the rapport you have with them. I've become Facebook friends with a couple of them. I've had a Zoom call with at least one (by the way, it'd be cool to do it again sometime!) and have discussed doing so with one or two others. And if they'd be up for it, there are some others I'd be happy to do so with as well, after we've messaged back and forth here a bit first though.

Am I perhaps naive and too trusting? Perhaps. I'd like to think I do well in choosing my friends though. And since I'm also married with children now, I have to be more selective anyway with whom I interact with.

SnowedIn · Answer

Yes you can.

I think I understand your mom's point of view but I believe that's alarmist and misguided.

I do understand the reality: that we don't necessarily know who we're talking to. That cute, buff 19 year old hockey player could really be a fat 70 year old virgin in his mom's basement. BUT... it isn't really better in person. Risk is still there. Abuse happens in person -- and it's much harder to block. Rape happens in person. Murder. And so does heartbreak.

Online is viable.

Screenwriter · Answer

You're mom's wrong in one sense. Perfect. No friendship is perfect. You can get to know people to some extent online. But better friendships are friendships that are made and renewed by personal interaction.

When you're with someone, you know how and what they eat, what their manners are, what kind of jokes they tell and like, what their breath and body smells like, how and what kind of clothes they wear. You get to hang out with them, get angry and break up with them, forgive and renew your relationship, see movies and TV shows at each others' homes, go out to eat together, celebrate each others' birthdays. Go on walks.

Simply spending time IRL is the most important aspect of any fully fleshed, longtime relationship. Without that sole aspect, the "being there," trust is difficult to establish.

ManOnFire · Answer

It doesn't much matter either way really. Yes, you have people you can meet online that turn out to be monsters who want to harm you, but the same can still happen with people you meet in person too. People wear faces and give a good first impression all the time, whether it started online or in real life. That's why it's important to really vet them out for a good while first, and even test them too if you can.

I prefer to meet people in real life as opposed to online because I like seeing them face to face and reading their body language and how they're acting with me in person. Some people might say you can do the same thing through Facetime, and you probably could to some degree, but two people in solid reality face to face is always going to give you the best cues about them.

Lynx122 · Answer

I trust people I meet online more than I trust people irl. And I've never had a bad experience where someone turned out the weren't who they said they were or so in my entire life. I've had a few people trying to get something from me but those were just random scammers or people trying to use me but I just stopped talking to them. Nobody that I've talked to for a long time has betrayed me. You can still part ways for other reasons eventually but there was never anything malicious. I don't know if I just know how to filter people better or something but I don't have trust issues online. I understand if other people want to be careful but I'm fine. I can connect better with people online because I can just express my thoughts and there's not so much other stuff going on.

MrOracle · Answer

99% of the time, an online friendship is going to be a casual friendship, and so that's what your expectation should be. You simply cannot know someone well enough to have a close relationship with them unless you spend time with them in the real world, with other people and real-world situations happening around you. That's when you will see sides of people that they would never share online (both good and bad).

As close as you might feel with an online friend, you have no idea what is happening when you aren't talking. You don't know who they associate with, or what they do. Some people will be fine, and others may be horrible, and you can't make choices assuming you know the whole truth.

If you can maintain those boundaries, then, great. If you struggle keeping such boundaries, then it's better that you don't put yourself in those situations.

panda2712 · Answer

I’ve been online since I was 9 turning 10 because my mother trusted me and her trust meant so much to me (still does) and the privacy of not going through my computer meant a lot to me but she would obviously ask me who I’d be talking to when I’m in a call and I would always tell her about who I’m talk to as me and my mum have a really close relationship so we could trust each other and I always knew when someone was a creep and would block and report them and tell my mum I was always very careful and I also made so many friends that meant a lot to me (but I also couldn’t make friends at school because I was always bullied and no one wanted to be my friend so I guess that was my outlet) but I never gave out personal information that could get me into trouble I was always very careful and I had a very brief online relationship with a guy but nothing ever happened and we just stayed friends

Viktor001 · Answer

Online friends is much easier than a long distance relationship because for a relationship you want to be closer but you can't be because of the distance or situation, one of you will have to make a move and travel to meet or move in.

Long distance relationships hurt if you can't handle not seeing each other in person or not being able to feel each other.

I speak from experience, had a long distance relationship and it just ended on 26th of June, I was ready to go see her often but she couldn't handle not being able to see me or feel me every day.

Anonymous · Answer

When I was around 12, I met someone online while playing mmorpg games. I moved abroad and didn't speak the language, so everything was difficult and this was my escapism.

We talked every single days for a few years , until one day I wanted to meet them in person and they told me that they are not who they pretended. It wasn't a hot guy, but a lesbian.

Until this day I don't know the full truth, but many year later I decided to search the name with my business account and I found a guy who works in IT with the same name.

Then after around 7 years, this person suddenly reached out to me.

I don't even want to know the full details, but all I can say is... you can't really trust people online.

This person literally constructed a whole identity and circle of friends.

Alli39 · Answer

I mean you definitely have to be more careful, because you have even less means of determining if someone is being truthful about themselves or not. But if you are able to forge a long term friendship online and eventually bring it into the real world in a smart, safe manner that accounts for the fact that you don't actually know the person then it's more or less fine?

lightbulb27 · Answer

No you can't until meet them. Itsa risk for women you really need to have your wits about you and bailout options.

If yoi trust too easily or naive… then definitely not.

I met my wife here and I've maintained ling term friend online whim is younger female. Took time to build trust.

BadApple69 · Answer

It’s my thoughts that chatting with people online can be fun and interesting. I have several online friends BUT… take what they say with a grain of salt. Obviously everyone online isn’t what they claim to be. Even I say untruths online sometimes because sometimes the truth isn’t something we want to share with others especially people we only know online.

joehypo1 · Answer

You can but that would be not a good idea not saying the other person in not trust worthy but so many crappy people has led us down this path. Some people become someone else online like some old fat guy who pretends to be a young woman and then post pictures and led people on because these people litteraly have nothing better to do in life , where ever these people are from you can bet there in the basement

MementoMori777 · Answer

For friends I believe it's safer than in person if they don't even know where you live

jammcm · Answer

I have found some wonderful friends via social media. Some of the friendships are now ten years old. I have also found some that lasted a very short period of time because they are not who they pretend to be. It is no different than meeting someone in a bar. Just be careful.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't think it's advisable to trust people that you meet online. HOWEVER, it is true that trust can be built over time. And by "time," I mean years. ... But after you meet them in person (safely, in public, with a friend, AFTER receiving the results of a background check), then you can get to know them and build trust with them.

Raaj4you · Answer

Of course, why not? Just verify the profile, meet him / her in person, meet his / her family, friends, ask questions and do some background check. Don't go and meet alone if you are not sure. Don't be disappointed if the person isn't perfect. Nobody is 100% perfect.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Yes but fully trust? I don't know what you mean by fully trust. There are just things you just can't trust anyone about even if they are your close friends in person. But in the end, they are still real people behind those screens and i don't see how it's any different with being friends with someone who you just met in person.

Minahh · Answer

This women with a degree in psychiatry told me blatantly that I won't find a good and trustworthy man online. After trying to connect with people and dating apps I think she's right. But honestly I'm getting kinda hopeless at this point since I'm socially awkward and have literally no clue how to talk to people/network irl.

DarkCarousel · Answer

It’s hard to truly trust anyone, online or in person. I have some online friends that are amazing people, but just for safety reasons, you have to be careful about sharing personal information.

wishiwasfiction · Answer

I can't trust anyone fully, not online nor in person. I have serious trust issues, I've seen too many people cheat on their partner.

As per love, my first love I met online. In fact I still have some feelings for him.

Billlewis · Answer

If we want to have a meaningful relationship we can.

empathylove · Answer

Being cautious is OK, but to suspect every one would keep you from meeting some of the world 's best persons.

Remo19 · Answer

One of my best friends for me now, I met him on zoom then by chat on whatsapp, at that time I was in city and he was in another city
, when we travel to study abroad I met him there face to face at first time, he was kindfull and not so different from his character online.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nope. Almost every time I met a guy online that I think is different to all the other guys, he turns out to be exactly the same as everybody else.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm never going to date any of them, so I don't care if they lie to me about most things. They could lie about their job, I don't care what my friends do for work. Their gender, Ill be friends with a man or woman. Their name, don't care about that either.

The only thing that I wouldn't be able to get over is using a fake picture, not because I care what they look like but I just think it's shitty to steal someone's pictures like that.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Relationship wise the trust and communication needs to be there from both of you. It’s hard but if you both want it it’ll work out.

RavVid · Answer

Your mother was probably thinking of pedophiles grooming you as a young girl. At 19 you can handle it. There advantages to online depending on how you communicate.

sheenagwapa · Answer

adter i get healed with my ocd i eill join dating apps... i think datinh apps is very convenient to get to know peoplw and find the ne most suitable foe mw.

Anemone978 · Answer

They can be your real friends but because it is so easy to lie and hide their identity it is wise to stay safe and distant with people online..

Dinn3r · Answer

It can be dangerous for obvious reasons or maybe not so obvious reasons; but despite all the possible dangers that come with the internet I think there are ways you can make friends or grow your friendship in a safe way.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Unless you know them in person, no. Being catfished, scammed or manipulated is far too common. I’ve met some great people online, but online friends are ultimately just casual friends.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

We got to be careful who we talk to online, and I would be sure to do a background check on them to see who is on the other end of the internet.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Online friendships are tricky. There are  so  things to consider. There are a lot of catfish out there. So, you have to first figure out if the person is who they say they are.

TheSimFans · Answer

it depond i met some friends through online and previous ex boyfriend but always makes to be in the public place and go in where they going to be light.

madhatters4 · Answer

yes you can. but just like meeting people IRL we need to be thorough in getting to know a person before we can fully trust them.

Sasha0426 · Answer

It’s dangerous either online or in reality. I’ve met some great friends on TikTok and we talk to each other everyday. Unfortunately, they’re not close enough where I can meet them in person 😕

chadbdullah · Answer

I agree with your mother. I mean even though it is not extremely dangerous, I think you should still see the people you meet irl, like how they behave what they do yk.

Yannishka · Answer

I am going to say yes on this one, because I have and they have never abused that trust.

Grond21 · Answer

My girlfriend is such a woman. I love her and fully trust her. And we actually met on this app.

comekitty · Answer

No - people are good at running lines and game

Fireguy17 · Answer

Only after you have done your research, and they have proven themselves.  I would not just blindly trust someone.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

I actually did twice, it never ended in a meeting though, we were both young and didn't had the money to travel around the world to see each other. A shame though, they were surely matches

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes you can. I also had a phone relationship long distance, and that worked out in my past for many years we lived together and traveled to Europe and traveled in the USA

Soxie · Answer

I'm inclined to say no - please be careful 🙂

exitseven · Answer

It is hard to tell who is legit and who is a 300 pound guy with a man bun.,

SolitarySolace · Answer

No. I’ve dated two women I met online and they both cheated on me

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's good practice to just always assume it's all just one big lie until you meet them in person.  I always assume everyone is lying at least 50% of the time.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Who is we? If you meant you than yes and no. Or maybe.. I personally question your ability as admin asking something so naive.

TheMan35 · Answer

Sometimes you get him wrong, sometimes he gets you wrong just because it is online. The time will show if you can...

balyai · Answer

Go on YouTube and search for long distance relationship shorts

Luopio27 · Answer

''Shame on you, if you fool me once. Shame on me, if you fool me twice.''

msc545 · Answer

remove the word online and it makes more sense.

EaterPeter · Answer

We can and it should come with time amd through proper process which can't / does not happen online.

BLP11520 · Answer

I am not sure but there may be exceptions to the rule.

Kacka · Answer

u can trust and love person u met online, but not love or trust online...

Can we Love and Fully Trust Someone We Met Online?

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Can we Love and Fully Trust Someone We Met Online?

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