I went though a bad breakup with someone I was dating and told my friend about it and she is much older than me. Anyway she thought I was weird for reaching out to her wanting to meet up with her one day cuz I felt so bad, and later she told me that it’s because I’m alone and have no one right there next to me.
Your friend's comment was hurtful and uncalled for. Here are some ways to deal with people who single shame you:
1. Remind yourself that being single is okay. Many people choose to be single at times in their lives for various reasons. It doesn't make you "weird" or less valuable.
2. Avoid internalizing their judgement. Their comments says more about them than you. They likely have their own insecurities they are projecting.
3. Set boundaries. Tell them their comments are hurtful and unwelcome. Ask them to be more sensitive and supportive of your situation.
4. Spend time with more understanding friends who build you up, not put you down. Surround yourself with positive people.
5. Practice self-care. Do things that make you happy and feel whole on your own. Pursue your hobbies and interests.
6. Remind yourself of your strengths and independence. Being single does not equal being alone - you have yourself and that's all you need.
7. Consider counseling if the shame feels overwhelming. A therapist can help you process negative thoughts and build confidence.
8. Find community. Join groups for single people where you can connect with others who understand your experience and won't judge you.
9. When people shame you, remain confident and assertive. Something like "I'm happy being single right now, but I appreciate your concern." Shut it down politely but firmly.
Most importantly, remember your value has nothing to do with your relationship status. Focus on healing, growing and living your best life - the right person will come along when the time is right. For now, surround yourself with uplifting people and activities that bring you joy. You've got this!
The best way to deal with people who make those kinds of comments is to set boundaries with them and be clear about what makes you feel comfortable and uncomfortable. Remind them that you don't appreciate being single shamed and ask them to be more mindful of their comments in the future. If they aren't receptive to this, it's important to distance yourself from them, as they may not be the best support system for you. Instead, focus on surrounding yourself with people who respect you and lift you up, those who make it feel like you do have people next to you even when they're not physically present.
i am not afraid to lose people especially friendships i had bad experience on friendships. maybe tell her in a form of a joke that she's beinh insensitive or mean
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Well there are two types of people who do this:
As for the former you can be forgiving given they are coming from a place of ignorance. My own mother single shamed me a lot but she was born a beautiful woman. She has never had to stick her neck out romantically. My dad did all the work when he first met her (still does to a certain extent). She means well but she’s ignorant. She has zero idea what dating is like for most men.
Then there are antagonistic people. I notice female acquaintances and colleagues I’ve worked with who didn’t like me for other reasons use this as a bullshit cheap shot. They think they can derail the dissenting viewpoints I have on things if they attack me personally. Sure it hurts but it doesn’t change whatever opinion I may have. In fact it emboldens it when women do this crap.
Sounds like you ought to dump that "friend", because real friends will make time for you and support you.
Sounds to me like she only keeps you around to belittle you so she feels like some wise old bag.
Deal with it? What else are you going to do? At your age, those comments are only going to come harder and get worse with age. I mean, this is reality. This is how people are to their core.
That's only happened in GAG. I do nothing because I don't care.
How did I deal with my mother and grandmother?
I laugh and say my business keeps me going
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