Would it be rude of me to cancel on my friends to go to my boyfriends moms?

[Anonymous]

I’m very stressed as I have recently moved into my flat. I planned for Friday for my 2 Friends to be coming round, although they can come whenever to see the flat. My boyfriends mom who I just met today gave me a invitation for Friday to a meal and said she’s booked me a spare seat and would love for me to come, his little sister also said she’d love it as it’s her birthday and that she wants to get to know me more and In a jokey way said ‘you have to come’ Me and my boyfriend are also expecting a baby boy and she’s said she wants me to come round to see the stuff she’s gotten for our boy on Friday. I feel really bad for cancelling on my friends am I horrible if I cancel on my friends? My boyfriend told me about the meal a few weeks before I made plans with my friends but I had no clue she was actually going to invite me. I feel like a terrible friend for cancelling them coming to see my flat but then I’d feel worse for turning down a invite to meet my boyfriends mom and get meet the family and get the gifts she’s got for our unborn baby?

[DaveJord]

Just message your freinds and say something has come up, can we push it back a day? I mean if they are your real freinds what's the deal? I literally did this to my sisters last week. We were supposed to get together on Saturday for my birthday, but then something with a woman popped up out of now where and I had to reschedule. My sister totally understood that.

If you really just want to chill with your freinds then just tell the mom, that you have prior arrangements and you really don't want to back out on them.

Either of these two solutions is more that acceptable.

Now here is the deal... you start hanging out with your boy freinds mom... that serious relationship, like marriage material stuff. That can be really good or really bad. So, if you are not ready to take that big of a relationship step, then I would totally back out on the mom.

But if you are totally ready to take this relationship to the next level, then I would back out on my freinds and they would just have to understand that. Good freinds would totally understand the significance of it.

[jeffend888]

You’re young so I’ll give you a bit of advice.

One day your friends will no longer be in your life because they will be choosing their nuclear families over you. Obviously this isn’t your nuclear family, but keep it in mind.

[BasedBaeBecca]

Yes, you will be rude and inconsiderate as you will cancel the visit plans with your two friends. If your boyfriend's mom invited you and you have already told her you're coming, it would be terrible to reject her invitation. You should go to the party and get to know your boyfriend's family.

The fact that they're preparing for the baby and have already bought stuff for the kid means they are welcoming you into their family and are ready to embrace you. Don't be the one to ruin that.

[Asker]

Yes I agree. She invited me a while ago but I completely forgot and planned to do something with my friends but I know how rude it would be if I cancelled on my boyfriends mom when that plan was first. But I also feel terrible for cancelling on my friends

[LazerBean]

Yeah, it is.