Relationships

I am not happy within myself or in my relationship?

Hey guys, to be completely honest i don’t think i was ever happy with myself before entering this relationship. he doesn’t help with my confidence either but that’s not his problem i don’t think. i know a relationship should be an addition to your life and make you happy, but i don’t think he should be the main reason. let me know if i’m wrong. anyway, i’m not happy with myself, i don’t feel pretty, my confidence is low, i don’t have the energy to do anything fun and even if i do, im not having any fun. my boyfriend and i don’t do anything fun. yesterday he told me it was because i nag and complain too much. yes because he spends all his time with his friends and none with me. even if we do hangout, all we do is either fight or he’s sarcastic the whole time so it’s not fun for me. my life has change so much in two years and I don't know what to do. i haven’t hung out with any of my friends for a long time, i don’t do anything fun because i don’t have any drive to do anything fun. i hate the way my life is going and it’s terrible. i don’t work, i’m a full time student. i finish in October and i’m excited to be somewhere that’s not at home. i know all this is my fault. i just hate that he doesn’t put any effort into our relationship. he told me that if i didn’t nag and complain all the time that he’ll give me the best of me 🤨 we have also had a rough past. he has mentally drained me for years. i forgave him, but i can’t stop thinking about all the things he had said to me or has done. i care about him a lot, i know he’s a good person, but as of right now he’s not a good person to me. i want to be happy, i just don’t know where to start. i don’t have money for a therapist. i want to be happy 🥺 why is it so hard
I am not happy within myself or in my relationship?
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