I saw a post on here saying something like this but I can’t find it. So no matter how long it takes before sex happens if your partner isn’t willing to wait that long that means they really don’t love you. It could be on the first date or a year or longer from now. Agree or disagree?
and follow up, how long are you willing to wait for sex in a relationship?
Of course. If a person can't wait a month or few months for sex - getting to know each other, etc. - then they certainly don't love you and they certainly are not worth wasting time on. They are merely interested in cheap quick easy sex and have no intentions of anything serious.
This is why most relationships - from dating to marriage - fail in western society nowadays. Particularly America.
You people rush into things without much thought. I have heard friends & colleagues getting married to people they may have known for a year or less and think to myself... they're nothing but friends with benefits after a year of knowing each other... and ironically ALL of those marriages didn't last.
It depends what ur different desires/goals are in a relationship. I could be fine never having sex, but for my husband it's important in a relationship. Not the most important, not even super important, and he was willing to wait for us. But sex is part of a romantic relationship for him. He couldn't be with someone indefinitely without sex being part of the equation, at least at a certain land mark in the future. Like after 1 year, or after reaching the "I love you" stage, or after getting married.
I think that's reasonable. It doesn't mean you don't love someone if you have different goal of a relationship than them. I wouldn't be with someone who never wanted kids or even who wasn't sure if they wanted kids, bc kids were one of my important goals in a relationship. It's just important to be clear about what you want and how important it is to you, so you don't end up leading them on and they don't end up leading you on even by accident.
If you had asked me before I lost my virginity at age 23 I would have said I was waiting for marriage. But my conviction on that dissolved when I fell in love for the first time. Sex was important to her and I wanted to make her happy. So I decided not to make her wait that long. It started out as a long distance relationship. She lived about a 4 hour drive away. I drove to spend a weekend with her and I gave her my virginity on the first night I was there.
I had mixed feelings about it. But thinking about it now, I don't regret it at all.
All I can say is if you are not comfortable with it, don't do it. If you want to wait, then wait. If you're partner wants to wait, then you should either wait with them or move on.
I don't worry about whether someone loves me. I can never know what they feel. All I know is how they behave and how I feel. If I were dating a woman and she wasn't wanting sex after a couple of months I would conclude that we are sexually incompatible.
Opinion
7Opinion
Yes…
For example, the last men I went on dates with, wanted to get intimate as soon as possible.
I disliked that.
I would like to answer with a brief story. Let me know if you think it's truth or fiction.
A hetero couple each around 30 years of age, date for 3 months seeing each other on most weekends and maybe once mid-week. Things are going great, and sex has never been a huge topic, but touched on occasionally. The male asks about it, and the female says she'd like to wait a bit longer. Three more months go by, and he brings it up again, same response but she adds "I want to be sure we're in this for the long term". He says he is and will wait.
Four more months go by, and the male asks again if she's ready. She declines and says "I promised myself I'd wait a year with my next guy, please let me have that". The word "LOVE" is mentioned, as in "do we really love each other". So, he waits. Two more months pass, and he asks again, but she's still hesitant. "I've done what you asked", he says, "is that not enough?"
A few days later she relents and agrees to have sex. Afterwards, they are both disturbed about a few things. She says, "You seemed over excited and inattentive to my needs, and you ejaculated too quickly". He says, " You mostly just laid there, initiated nothing, and seemed really bored. but I was indeed excited to finally be doing this".
The two were so profoundly upset by this, they agreed it would be best to part ways. An entire year had passed, and whatever other things they built in the relationship were not enough to make either want to try the fix the sex part. Both felt like they had "wasted" a year of their lives with the "wrong person". Fact, or fiction?
At first I was going to agree, but giving it some thought, sex is quite high on the hierarchy of needs, and sexual compatibility in a relationship is insanely important.
It also depends, if the guy is expecting sex on a first date, then its a redflag if he has a hissy fit that you won't sleep with him, but if you've been together a year and nothing? I think it would be time to call it quits and decide you have different libidos, aspirations and are sexually incompatible.
if i say yes to be a girlfriend... then sex follows that's the clue. me beinh a girlfriend now is not like before i can say after one hour, 30 minutes who knows if i feel you then i feel you. i want someone who js loyal and comitted type so once i am in expect that i sm in for good. yoy have my word. be lotal to me and i will be loyal to yoy.
I agree with this caveat: if the people are married, then withholding except with a good reason (medical, the other cheated, stuff like that) is manipulative and shows that the partner withholding is the one who does not love.
s I absolutely agree with it. If they're not willing to wait, that means they just want to use you. They just want your body and nothing else.
In my case, I think I would rather wait like 8 or 9 months since I've never had sex.
It's all about respect towards the other person and having a deep bond. The relationship doesn't need sex to live in fact it shouldn't need it. It's just a very awesome bonus. The biggest difference between friendship and a SO (significant other) is attraction. Your SO, in my mind, is just your best friend that you find attractive and you wouldn't want to disrespect your friend or do something on purpose to hurt them.
Agree, we waited 8 months before I lost my V-card, though it would have been 6 months if I didn't stop it from hurting so much. It shows you care about your partner
What exactly are we supposed to be waiting FOR?
I'll guarantee if she makes you wait months she'll only make the next guy wait days when she dumps you.
Fuck that. Why would a woman make a man wait yet previously let men before him get sex right away? What did they have right off the bat that this man has to wait? She makes rules for one man but breaks the rules for the others
Well, I would say if you feel like it's time to make love then you have left it too long so get to it and start enjoying what Adam & Eve did many years ago. enjoy life you only have one.
I don’t agree, in fact if they make me wait months I will think they are not interested in me that way and move on since sex is a part of intimacy and love
If you don't respect your partner's autonomy and boundaries, you don't care enough to truly love them.
Totally Agree!!
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