If a person breaks your trust and then apologizes, does the relationship go back to the way it was or is everything different?

[Mdavila]

I mean family, friendships, coworkers

[Ozanne]

I think we can tell when someone is truly remorseful. I had a co-worker betray me once and I went straight to him in tears and told him I was aware of what happened, and told him how much it hurt. He was aghast. His voice dropped to almost a whisper when he said "I'm so sorry". I could tell he really didn't realize what his trite reaction had done to me all for a tiny bit of gain from those who don't matter. When he apologized, I felt he really meant it. I decided to wipe the slate clean, and to this day we are good friends, and though we don't work together anymore, we have each others' backs when we need references.

I've also been apologized to from men in relationships, but I can pick up whether or not it's an apology simply to try to move on, or if the apology is sincere and I know they mean it. If I sense the apology is only meant for them to try to move on and not focus on what they were at fault for, then I keep my guard up.

I also an wary of people who do NOT apologize, when I know they should. There are people who view apologies as a way to show weakness, and I completely disagree. It's a way to show strength. I dislike it very much when someone has been caught behaving badly toward someone, they know it and so do I, but they dig their heels in to either reverse blame or defend their actions when it's clear what they did was shitty. I don't trust people like this at all, and usually when I find they dodge apologies like this, I keep them at arm's length, and put my guard up with them.

I wrote a MyTake on apologies a few years ago that you might enjoy, that covers some of what I've said.

The Power of an Apology

[Pinay_ako]

Trust when broken is like trying to glue a glass dish back together. Nah. It’s not going to be the same. Depends on how they broke my trust will determine if there is even a future relationship. Idc how long we’ve known each other or how tight we were. Don’t betray me. That’s what enemies do!

[caring__1]

Once the trust is broken, we can never return to blind trust again. That's not necessarily a problem. We can trust them again, when we see a change in behavioral patterns after learning from an experience, but our eyes will be open wider, and we'll be more observant of the whole. By being more observant, we can actually discover postives we had previously overlooked. By staying on top of issues, we can address them when they are small, making it much easier to resolve issues and move forward. There's no such thing as a bad experience, as long as we learn from it. Let's bring the knowledge forward and leave the pain in the past. When people don't learn from their past, and continue the same dysfunctional patterns, distrust tends to expand into all areas of the relationship.

[dynamicyandere]

It depends on what they did. If it’s insignificant enough to forget about, then things can be restored 100%. But, if it’s something that can never be forgotten, it’ll change the relationship forever.

[Sour-rose]

O hellll no. So I gotta go to spencers for a skirt real quick but let me tell ya; this is my mom. She has broken the window of trust so many times that her apology means as much as the dirt I step on. My father lied to me a few times but not as much as her. So he's forgiven. But her... that dumb ass lady has fucked up beyond repair. I can never trust her like when I was 8. "Oh come on, sour, she can't be that ba-"

Her: *slams door*
Me: *gets a text next day about sorry about slamming the door."
*3 months later, does it again*

🙃🤷‍♀️Fucked up... beyond repair.

[Notfrommars]

my parents always told me “sorry is not a magic word” when I was a kid and said “sorry” for getting in trouble at school, not doing my homework etc. they said that changed behavior is what matters. More than merely apologizing, they would have to really alter their behavior in tangible ways. Like if they said “sorry” for hitting on girls at bars and staying up all night but then continued to do that, the “sorry” wouldn’t mean anything. But if they really did change and make an actual effort that would prove something

[ta-ra]

It's forever changed. You may forgive but you never truly forget. Betrayal cuts deep and leaves an ugly scar no matter who the person. Not saying you can't go on to still having a fulfilling relationship but that Betrayal will always be a mark in your mind whether conscious or subconsciously. It's how we learn, how we grow and how we are shaped.

[Screenwriter]

It would depend on how severely the trust was broken, and how deep a wound it left.

Of course the relationship will not completely go back to its state of innocence. But the new state might ultimately end up being stronger. Weathering the storm can deepen the connection.

[Hawkes_Lady]

I can only speak for myself, personally.

No, once you've done something to break my trust... eventually, I will be able to forgive you but you will have to work for it and it will probably take a significant amount of time. Depending on what your offense was that broke my trust, yes, I can probably keep you as a friend, but I will never trust you completely again. It will always be there in the back of my mind that you hurt me before.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It'll take quite a long time before i trust them again

[Mdavila]

But after a long time do you forget what happened or what the person did to break your trust? Do you trust them blindly like you did at first?

[BoopBoopBeep]

i never forget. They have to earn that trust back. I didn't trust them blindly the first time I'm not going to now.

[JosyJosy]

If it's a little lie I'll be pissed. If it happens again, you get a final warning because I hate false promises. Slip up a third time and we're done. Many chances, because it's about something small.

But things like cheating. I'll accept your apology but you're getting dumped, done, demoted.

[bowenw]

I think it depends on what exactly they did. If they told a white lie it's easier to get over than something more serious like stealing from you, that you may never get over or even forgive them for.

[TomMarks]

I may forgive them if they are genuinely sorry, but once trust is broken, it takes twice as long to get back as it took to earn the first time. And honestly it never gets back to the point it was, cause I’ll always question them.

[Catarine]

Trust is like glass, once broken it will never be put together the same

[Singing_Hollow]

Thats up to you. Trust is a very important thing. Sometimes if you work at it, it can go back to the way it was but sometimes it doesn't... also takes forgiveness and effort from the other person

[worldscolide]

Broken trust is a funny thing. I don't believe it can ever be restored to be honest. Not fully anyway. There will always be suspicion.

[Anonymous]

no. i mean, it can, but it will take a lot of time. it just really depends on what happened...

[sheikalana]

It will be different I will never trust you the same way I used to.

[Mamaliv]

No, once trust is broken I may be able to find forgiveness but the relationship is not the same and I’ll have built a barrier.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I'm willing to forgive and try to build it. I have lied a lot in my life and changed as I no longer lie.

[Miristheiss]

It depends on what they did.

Some things with some people it could. Other things it would euin the relationship.

[bolverk]

If a person breaks my trust then that is it there is no going back, they may apologise, but the trust is gone, the relationship will never be the same, and they will always be held at a distance.

[Jdodkfndosn]

Depends on how they apologize. I'm sorry don't cut it.
Also depends if my relationship with the person is by choice or not.

[huzail]

It depends on the individual and the specific circumstances, but trust may not fully return to its previous state, and the relationship may be different.

[BLP11520]

It’s altered for sure depending on what it is

[johngrocott]

When' she/he makes a Promise an breaking. it No, that's is the first sing of distrust.

[SolitarySolace]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Sorry will never change that. No matter how many times it is said.

[LiamJHayden]

Rebuilding trust takes time, and is sometimes not even possible.

[ShesRad80]

family yes anyone else no

[electromagnetic]

Once the trust is gone, you’re out.

[Bricealan]

I never trust them again

[Agape93]

Nope it's done entirely.

[Jkgordon]

No integrity is a must

[jimmy2]

If they say I sorry and forgive me... yes

[Anonymous]

different