What the hell should I be thinking or am I just paranoid?

[Anonymous]

Usually my boyfriend would be more attentive to my feelings. Lately he is just focused on his own. We tried to go to foxwoods and he ate some of my edibles. We ate at an old fashioned diner and nostalgic music started playing and it made him upset because it reminded him of his grandfather that passed away six months ago. Then he became very irrational with every movement and became upset with everything I did until we left and he yelled at me saying I only think of myself and not how he was feeling. He said I needed a therapist and I have no friends. Until he got weed that suppressed his negative emotions and calmed down. The next day he only worked a few hours. Then wanted to go to a friend's (girl) house with her boyfriend there. And he hung out for several hours until 3am. No notifications and barely communicated with me. I have been uncomfortable with her for a while because she's his ex from years ago. But she has a boyfriend there from another state that stays over. Regardless the next morning my boyfriend is more attentive to my emotions and my needs. He barely gets upset anymore and pats my shoulder. He asks me what's wrong and talks very genuine. It's very abnormal after two years of living together. I shouldn't think that anything happened with them last night. I want to stop thinking he slept with her. Honestly though it's very off-putting and if I mention it to him I feel like he will be offended even if he is being genuine to my feelings. Although he has always made it about himself and talks about himself. What's with the sudden change? Is it that he needed friends to be with or did he cheat? He barely was speaking to me all last night. He did ask me how I was doing and all when it got late. He is poly. But he did also say sleeping with her would ruin their relationship but they connect so well whenever they talk with each other. I can not feel comfortable with this. Should I just let it be?

[Anonymous]

I don’t blame you for your discomfort, but I feel like you’re between a rock and hard place. Clearly this is an important bond for him to know full well how you feel about their relationship and still keep her around. I find it disrespectful, and there should be a middle ground for your peace of mind, like bringing you along to hang out with them, why isn’t that an option? Why can her boyfriend be there but not you? Something is off.

[Asker]

He told me he put me through a test. He would have brought me along but when I responded with "Ah." Supposedly right when he said he is going over their place for pizza that's when he turned the offer off from asking me to come with. How does that make sense? I don't know. I had not told him how I felt about it. Then he played -malcolm in the middle- you're not the boss of me now. Since the song got stuck in his head? A bit goofy in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

Man, if I were in your shoes I’d be so done with him because what the actual fuck? It’s just common sense that if he’s going to keep a close friend of the opposite sex then the least he can do is make sure you’re comfortable and reassured. Going off to her house alone for pizza, until 3am? How would your mind NOT wander? Like you don’t even get proof that her boyfriend was physically there, just your bf’s feedback, so he can be doing god knows what with her and lying to your face. Look at him, coming back after a long night out with her all refreshed and loving, it’s a slap in the face, completely hurtful/disrespectful and I would be finished with that guy.