My boyfriend doesn't tell me how much he makes. Should your boyfriend/girlfriend tell you how much they make?

[silver]

I don't get it why he keeps it as a secret... Is it OK to ask your boyfriend how much money he makes?

[DaveJord]

Here is my advice on this... you need to do you and be true to yourself. If this is something that really matters to you then yes, you should talk with him about it. I hear or have heard this thing all the time, that women do not care about how much a man earns, what type of car he drives and ext...

Well, I do not know honestly how much that all matters to women, but it matters to me. I am 47, I am looking at retirement very soon... like maybe 50 to 55... so depending on what type of relationship you want to have... you better believe it matters.

So, for me I like to know what they do for a living, where they live what type of things they like to do, what their interests are. All these things will tell you or give you an indication of what type of money they earn. But I have never got into specifics with a woman on her economic status, until the relationship reaches a point where it really matters... and by that time you have already have been to their place, you have ridden in their car, you see how they dress, you know if they are a person of class... so by that time you know if they are a quality person and/or a person of value to you. So, it does not really matter at that point, or you would of never of gotten to that point.

[Circlesgames]

It all depends, silver,

Could be ashamed as they have said it not to worry you because they belive they should carry all the worry of finance etc or

What you like and what he likes, for some they prefer to have some secrets about that as long as he does not act selfish when it comes to family matters,

A solution for this would be for both of you to have a family account either separately or 1 together, where the finance there is known to both of you and can be discussed.

He should be able to tell you how much he gets paid and if he is working any other works, but doesn't have to tell you how much all together he has.

And then they are people who prefer to know it all, that is both are on with it and see it as no issue at all, this is good as long as one of the partners won't be selfish and demand things from their partner when their own money is finished or see it as a way to call their partner wicked for saying no I domt have money for luxury at the moment.

It is a topic to take seriously and must be talked about with great understanding from both sides, if your partner is not into the topic then he is probably just keeping it a secret because of the second method, bring naked =forced to spend unnecessary = family poor.

He will surely provide for the family if he doesn't then it will be a concern.

[sheenagwapa]

🤣🤣🤣🤣sure! assholes makes me feel
i owe them. keep judginhme, punishing me for the things i didn't do. if not because of me they don't know about the reality of God and that is PRICELESS!!! i don't owe sucking anyone's dick but i hope somwonw willsponsor mw foe my mission. i just wanna reiterate SPINSOR


i know what this question or wuestions are tryinh to point out that i'm poor and nobody and ugly guess what i alreadu know that but i will never bow down to unfair, untrue accusations theown against mw in the name of my ocd treatment


yeah we do mistakes but what happened to me is a while new different level of misjudgment that i have to endure for a long time and u til noe they don't stop making me admit something i didn't do


well Fod is a witness and i may lose in this lifetime but each one willanswer the mockinh and suffering/punishments thrown at me lead by my own soulmate which is now questionable to me


dude next time easy on the punishments dude because yoy are not god and you will die too somedat


i'm realy hoping i can get my sponsorship

[BoopBoopBeep]

Get help.

[Rei13]

Someone else asked a similar question. I personally think that is a conversation you should have with your partner to see what you’re both able to afford if you ever move in together or get married. However I also think it is important to go over debts as well and look at what both of your spending habits are. If one person is responsible and the other isn’t, for example, it is better to know that early on so that you can prepare yourself and build better habits. Maybe also not share the bank account lol. I don't know. That was a conversation I had with most of my partners early on, sometimes I made more and other times they did but at least I knew what we both had to work with.

[dynamicyandere]

I believe it’s either he’s poor and doesn’t want you to know, because he’s embarrassed.


Or, perhaps he’s rich, but he wants to make sure that you love him for him and not for his wallet.


Later in the relationship, he may open up about it. But, it would be weird to ask that at the beginning of a relationship.


It’s like if a guy asks a girl how many men has she slept with, it’s a bit personal of a question and can come off the wrong way.


If she wants to share that later, she’ll do it in her own timing.

[coachTanthony]

LOL no it's none of your business... i mean if you know what he does for a living then just google it and get a round about number.

[DubiousIntentions]

But make sure you account for seniority. I guess you might ask the entrance level and the top level and take an average. McDonalds doesn't have much future in it unless you own one.

[coachTanthony]

Regional managers at McDonald’s make good money unless your idea of good money is not if that!

[AviatorTom]

In a serious relationship. each partner should share their economics with the other partner. It avoids nasty arguments over money, which is one of the most comment issues in relationships.

[Quigly]

That made no sense,

If people in relationships have nasty arguments over money that lead to their break up. It's because each partner shared their economics and it became an issue.

Logically, not sharing the information would be the better advice.

If she's calling him a boyfriend, It's not a serious relationship.

[Agent71]

Makes perfect sense to me. After investing a significant amount of time with someone, most people will divulge more and more about themselves. It would be a little odd not to, yeah? You could even substitute salary with what you do and, if you wanted to, let them know that you’re financially sound (or not). I wouldn’t dump someone because they didn’t have a perfect credit score and a killer job. And even if they were having tough times or a job that didn’t pay well that would be way low on my list of determining if I should proceed further. Just share — if it’s important to either person. It eliminates doubt and is a noble characteristic to have in any relationship.

[Quigly]

@Agent71 In the beginning of your statement, you said someone should share their economic details. In the end, you say sharing economic details is the most common cause of relationships ending. So yeah, what you said made no sense.

What you're saying now is entirely different. But, being that this is just a boyfriend, there isn't really any investment. Getting married is an investment. If this was her fiancé, it would be entirely different. If there has been a decision to not invest in marriage then no other financial information is relevent.

How much a person makes is entirely different than credit score. A person with poor credit shows a lack of taking responsibility for their decisions. Many people make very good money and refuse to pay even the smallest of bills. Every bill they have goes to collections before getting paid.

[Agent71]

Quigly, no. “In the end, you say sharing economic details is the most common cause of relationships ending.”

I appreciate your opinion on the entire matter, but you’re editing others actual words in an actual paragraph. Not cool and part of the reason why people don’t offer thoughtful perspectives any more.

You just took two very different people with very different avatars and mixed them into one. You then puked out some garbage response that distracts from the actual question.

Take your time. Let’s agree to avoid knee-jerk reactions so we can all follow what’s being said in a factual manner. Otherwise it’s pointless.

[Quigly]

@Agent71 I was just trying to make sense of what you were saying,
Apparently you can't either.
No point in going on
Have a nice day.

[Agent71]

Just in case you missed it… here’s the point:

AVIATORTOM
In a serious relationship. each partner should share their economics with the other partner. It avoids nasty arguments over money, which is one of the most comment issues in relationships.

ME (AGENT71)
Just share — if it’s important to either person. It eliminates doubt and is a noble characteristic to have in any relationship.

Two different people. Some similar and some not similar opinions. Don’t cut, paste, and mix. Guard what people say (verbatim) like you’d guard your own words.

[BlackBeauty90]

@AviatorTom - no. They shouldn't. Until marriage the economics are irrelevant. You are merely dating & in today's world when sleeping around, unfaithfulness, etc. is far more predominant than reliability disclosing one's salary is predestined to attract leeches not people who contribute value.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I just came here to say, display pic of the question got me laughing really hard 🤣🤣

[Avicenna]

Not if you keep your finances separate

[Finchie40]

Maybe he feels you will lose interest in him if he doesn’t like his income , and he is embarrassed to admit that’s all he is making , Most girls’ love guy’s with status and love to brag about how much her partner makes to her friends , Most guy’s don’t give 2 shits about status when it comes. to a girl he finds beautiful to his eyes that treats him well. Most Girls on the other hand do, they think it’s the most important thing to have a man that makes a shit ton of money , Sadly most girls’ will cheat on her man if she feels he doesn’t make enough , she will spread her legs for another guy that she feels has more status then her partner does. I am not saying every girl does this , but a majority of them do , sadly to say. So he is probably embarrassed and nervous to admit to you , what he actually makes , because he is afraid he might lose you. Look at all these Gold digger girls’ and whores that are prancing around looking for hand outs Females did this to themselves , why so many guy’s today do not want to get married , because most girls’ are selfish these days when it comes to commitment , if she doesn’t get her way she will run to another guy thinking he will save her , she is turned on by that other guy because of his status and what’s inside his wallet. Most girl’s today are never fully happy , they always thin grass is greener on the other side

[Anonymous]

The fact that information it is so important to you means this is red flag for him. He should view you with more suspicion for making a big deal about that. I know I would (I make decent money by the way)

You should already have a good idea of what he makes anyway. You can look at his career, how long he has been doing it, if he owns or rents, if he has been divorced, etc.

Now if you two were looking to get married this would be a different story. One of you could end up paying alimony if it doesn’t work out. That’s an appropriate time for that discussion but not when you are just dating.

Honestly I also find it sad, depressing and frankly gross that a grown ass woman 44 year old woman in modern times is making such a big deal about this. Really lady grow up. Quit looking at men as ATM machines with penises. Make your own f*cking money. Western society is literally rolling out the red carpet nowadays (over the top of men) to give women high paying careers.

He must have something going for him giving you are dating him. He probably gives of an appearance of being well off and you are wondering if he’s raking in mega bucks. I doubt you would ask this question (or even date him) if he was a working class average Joe.

If he is doing well then good for him. But he’s smart to keep his mouth shut. He’s probably testing you to see if you are a gold digger. If you are he will figure it out. Most rich guys have radar for that bullshit. So unless he’s 20 years your senior or something I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

@silver There's many reasons why he's not & many reasons why partners shouldn't.

If you're newly dated you're NOT entitled to the information
If you don't have a job yourself, you're NOT entitled to the information
If you constantly ask him for money, you're NOT entitled to the information

This applies for both women and men.

If the boyfriend/girlfriend contributes little to the relationship then they are not entitled to know how much their partner makes. Because more often than not the contribute little is simply going to leech off the partner like a parasite.

[Miristheiss]

Probably because he wants girl who just wants him. Whether his salary is low, average or high... he doesn't want a woman who is hyper focused on his pay. So, he takes that out of the equation. It is his money, not yours. He doesn't want to be with a woman who uses his money as an attraction trigger to decide whether she wants to be with him or not.

The fact you are so concerned about this missing info gives clues you could be the type of girl he is trying to weed out of his dating life.

[19magic]

What if they were planning to live together. I know if this was me it's likely he'd move in with me. So I'm going to need to know if I can split the rent and bills with him, whether that'll be 50/50 or more like 70/30 all depends on how much he earns, especially since I'd be losing money if I declared someone else is living there, as I have a discount price for being a single occupant. So in this case I would absolutely need to know, and way before we do actually move in together.

Also I don't know whether she's asked this week's, months or years in their relationship

[Miristheiss]

@19magic
No you don't.
First, no one should live with someone they are not married to. You can invite this stupid "common law marriage" government intrusion into your property and assets.

Second, if two people move in together the bills should ALWAYS be 50/50. How much someone makes should play zero role in them not paying expenses for where they live. You make less? So what. You live here. You eat the food, you pay 50%.

3rd. If you live with them then all that needs to be discussed is this, here is how much rent is, here is what the average electric bills are, here are what we can expect to be paying. Can you handle that amount? If they answer is yes you can move in.

Lastly. All bank accounts should always be separate. No shared credit cards, no joint accounts (except one to just pay the bills. Each of you can deposit enough into that each month to pay your HALF of the bills), no shared car titles or anything else. Everything is kept separate.

You aren't his wife. His money, his salary has nothing to do with you and none of your business.

[19magic]

Agree to disagree, I don't really care about marriage all that much if the dude wants to then we can. It's simply a piece of paper that negatively effects the guy more than the girl if divorce happens.

And I was actually stating that if I make more than him, it's my place so if he earns less than me then it would be proportionate to the wage so we both have the same amount in proportion of spending money.

But then you have savings, outings, holidays, saving for pensions etc as well

[Miristheiss]

@19magic
A man would be a fool to move in.
I'd advise any man not to move into a woman's place.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Miristheiss
Out of curiosity, why's that?

[Kinkyhubby]

While dating, especially in the begin I don't think it is anyone business. But maybe if you been dating for 5 years, planning to move in with each, get engaged or married. Then yes it would be ok to ask.

If some girl ask me how much I make when we first starting dating I would probably end it. She is either looking for you to become a sugar daddy, and pay for everything, or wants to be a gold digger, I would be skeptical of her in the relationship.

Now if she came out and told me what she males and ots more then I make I would have no problem.

[EmyyWolf]

DuHHH!!!

Why the hell would he hide that from you unless he’s trying to be sneaky 😂 keep secrets. Or he’s buying shit for someone else. Spending money on someone else 😂

DA FUCKKKK. I don’t care if he’s poor or rich. You need to know.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's not your business. You're only a girlfriend. I was engaged to a woman that didn't know how much I make because "well above enough" is sufficient. If I can handle the annual bills off a couple month's pay then how, functionally, is your knowledge of the precise spread actionable in any meaningful way?

[WindAtMyBack]

You didn't say how long you've been together. In the early stages, I think it's common, even advisable, to not talk about such things.

"Is it OK to ask your boyfriend how much money he makes?"

NO !!!
Not unless you've been together a very long time and have long term plans. Wait for him to volunteer the info. You'll probably get some vague idea before then though. You should at least be able to figure out if he is dirt poor or not.

[Anonymous]

I was with madame-ex for 10 years and, never once did I ask her how much she makes! All she ever told me was that she makes enough in just 2 or 3 nights (about 6 hours a night) to equal what most people make in a week so, she only had to work 2 or 3 nights a week. I doubt she ever asked me how much I was making at any of my jobs but, if she did, I really didn't care if she knew. But, if not knowing is cause for you to break-up then, you're plastic and shouldn't be IN the relationship, to begin with!! You're QUITE shallow, if that's what you base the relationship on!

[WillowofFeathers]

I don’t see any reason to tell your partner how much you make unless you live together or for some reason share some kind of economy. But if you have a common budget for food or something like that I think that would be a good idea. Then you would know how much each person would be able to contribute to the budget

[MrOracle]

It's probably not necessary UNTIL you get to the point where you are considering moving in together or otherwise entangling your finances in some way. At that point, it's necessary to at least know that they make enough to cover their obligations.

[ta-ra]

Unless you two are married, no either one should have to disclose that.

Now if you guys are getting engaged, and going to spend the rest of your lives together and need to make plans and goals together regarding your finances then yes there should be full disclosure so you guys don't get in over your heads.

[provokeesmokee]

It really depends. Some people don't mind, others really mind.

To me, I want to know especially when we have some shared finances like bills. It's important to have a fair split. I've previously out earned my partners, and thus paid proportionally more of our bills.

Plus I think it's important to me to be able to talk openly about finances and money with my partner.

[Billlewis]

Any time a guy doesn't want to tell you how much he makes, that's an indication that he doesn't plan on spending a lot of money on you, which goes against everything I believe in regarding dating, in general. I believe that the number one reason to date a woman is to spoil her rotten. If I'm successful in accomplishing that, I think everything else will fall into place from there.

[NotInterestedSorry]

Not necessarily. There are guys out there who don't say because they want to make sure that the girl they are with isn't just with him for his money.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Personally, I never share my income or financial status with anyone I am either dating or in a relationship with. Unless I intend to marry that person has no need to know what my personal finances are.

My own family do not know what my income level is or financial situation. The only 2 other people who know anything about my situation is my CPA that handles my personal business and my financial advisor that helps me with my market trading.