I guess I have a 2 part question here.
And to preface, as always, I do see a therapist, I just like this as another outlet for myself to process my thoughts.
So, about a year from now, my boyfriend of 6 months will be moving somewhere (still unknown until next month) for 2 years of post doc.
We are sadly long distance currently (met and dated for about 4 months in person first), but visit as often as we can and absolutely talk every day.
He really does seem like a solid guy. I'd posted before about having doubts but it turns out that getting back on my antidepressants really made me see that I was kinda coming up with a lot of the issues in my own head, and being highly pessimistic. Meds + my therapist + seeing him again made me realize that we are very much still into each ther.
ANYWAYS, my question is... when he moves for his post doc, would it be crazy to go with him? Granted that we are still together and doing well, obviously. As we will have been together about a year and a half by then. I know long distance is a harder way to determine if it's a good fit, but it seems likely that long distance will be extra long term if I don't go. And that's kinda not too feasible. Plus, he's made it clear that he'd love that and be willing to help me get on my feet, and that he sees this as a long term thing. But has also made it clear I don't have an obligation to come, nor do I have to hurry if I do want to but am not ready.
I know it's a long ways a way, but as someone who is highly anxious, I like to start easing myself into it early.
My SECOND part, more relevant to now.
#1, how do I tell my dad about him? My mom knows because she pries, but my dad doesn't ask (also they are divorced and dont talk a lot so my mom hasn't spilled it), and it feels SO weird to out of the blue, bring up that I have a boyfriend. And also that it's been 6 months. And also that I plan on taking it very seriously.
I guess on a subconscious note too, I know they won't approve. They want me to marry a Christian guy for sure. And my boyfriend is not religious, as well as being from a culturally different background.. so they're gonna struggle with it a bit.
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It's great to hear that you've been working on your mental health with the help of medication and therapy. It sounds like you've been doing some introspection and have a supportive relationship with your boyfriend.
Regarding the possibility of going with your boyfriend for his postdoc in the future, it's not necessarily "crazy" if it's something you both want and it makes sense for your personal and career goals. However, it's crucial to consider various factors, including your own aspirations and whether the move aligns with your long-term plans. Also, keep open communication with your boyfriend about this option.
As for telling your dad about your relationship, it's perfectly normal to feel a bit awkward, especially if you haven't shared this aspect of your life with him yet. You can approach the conversation by finding a natural opportunity to mention your boyfriend in a casual way. For example, you could say something like, "Oh, by the way, I've been seeing someone for the past 6 months, and it's going well. I wanted to share this with you since it's become an important part of my life." This approach can help ease into the conversation and provide an opportunity for your dad to ask questions or share his thoughts.