My boyfriend of almost 5 years says we can't get engaged before living together first. Is this just an excuse? (Page 2)

shirinfer · 2023-10-18T02:46:20Z

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and 8 months. Since he didn't bring up anything related to our future together, I decided to bring up the topic of marriage last summer. I asked him if he had any plans of getting married in the future and he said not at the moment, saying he wanted to focus on his career. Recently, we once again had a discussion a possible engagement and we ended up not speaking for 2 weeks or so due to an argument. We only recently started talking again and I asked him why he was so reclutant to even get engaged as a first step. I wasn't necessarily referring to marriage but felt that an engagement would be a sign of his commitment and our relationship becoming more serious. My boyfriend said he didn't want to get engaged before we 'did' more stuff together to see if we were compatible, e. g. travelling more, living together etc. I don't understand how after almost 5 years together he feels the need to live together first before even proposing as a first step. I feel like he should know me by now and know that I love him. I just feel so disappointed that I'm on the only one wanting to talk about the future. Is this just an excuse that he is coming up with so he can avoid an engagement and possibly marriage down the line?

shirinfer

Xper 2 Age: 31

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DarkWinterNights Follow
Yoda Age: 33

7 mo
395 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Was he a popular f-boy before you guys got together? How does he show his affection for you?

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FunkyMonkee Follow
Master Age: 56

7 mo
1.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yes! People have been getting engaged long before living together throughout history.

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Shamalien Follow
Guru Age: 40

7 mo
1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

If you’ve been dating for 3 years or longer and you don’t know if he intends to marry you…
wake up and smell the roses.

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DreamLife7 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 27

7 mo
378 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

You're 31 years old. Accept reality he doesn't want you. The end

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1 Reply
- DreamLife7
  
  7 mo
  Are u really this dumb or are u just refuse to acknowledge that you've been rejected?
  
  Reply
LazerBean Follow
Master Age: 24 , mho 40%

7 mo
1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

He's just not interested in marrying you.

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BLP11520 Follow
Guru Age: 64

7 mo
606 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

He wants the benefits but won't commit

3

4 Reply
- shirinfer
  
  7 mo
  Yes.. that's also what I'm starting to lean towards.
  
  Reply
- BLP11520
  
  7 mo
  Ok, good I hope I wish you the best.
  
  Reply
- shirinfer
  
  7 mo
  Thank you :)
  
  Reply
- BLP11520
  
  7 mo
  You are welcome.
  
  Reply
Fireguy17 Follow
Guru Age: 59

6 mo
989 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

It kind of seems that way.

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dudeinohio Follow
Master Age: 59

7 mo
2.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

You've got to try it before you buy it.

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LiamJHayden Follow
Guru Age: 28

7 mo
1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

He's stringing you along.

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shades777 Follow
Explorer Age: 36

7 mo
639 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

excuse what? finish your thought

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Luckycharms12 Follow
Guru Age: 30

7 mo
1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Well it's actually sincable

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MaxUsefull Follow
Xper 6 Age: 46

6 mo

For me he just want sex

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