How do you view consistency and spontaneity in a relationship?

[caring__1]

When it comes to responsibility and playfulness, do you prioritize one, seek balance or inconsistently vacillate between them? Are you consistent and predictable or spontaneous and unpredictable? What have been the results of your choice?

[kylee2437]

Consistency is how I measure out if I’m even going to step into a relationship with someone. If someone is inconsistent, I’m out. And while I know people don’t always have the energy to do exactly the same thing over and over again all the time, I think there’s kind of a line drawn when someone is consistent one week and then left field the next.

[caring__1]

Consistency is very important, but if no newness exists people tend to get in a rut and are often viewed as boring. It's very important to consistently energize a relationship, but we can't energize a relationship with nothing but the same forever. I also tend to prioritize consistency, responsibility and predictability, but I understand the value of balance, and that is lacking in the lives of many. Extremes balancing extremes will only lead to instability, but subtle choices to mix things up a bit and surprise our partner, letting our partner know we still value the relationship and how it impacts that person, is also important.

[kylee2437]

I mean everyone has expectations while dating that are probably much different than others. I prefer someone that is consistent over someone that is spontaneous. I don’t want everything to be the same forever, but someone that knows what makes me feel special and continuously does those things for me will forever have my heart.

[caring__1]

I can understand this. Once your partner discovers your preferences and what works for you, it's important for those things to continue being a priority. Otherwise, it just appears to be a bait and switch, where people do things to hook you, even though they have no interest in continuing the behavior. It's also important for us to be considerate of our partner's preferences.

I sure wish people were open and honest about their preferences from the start, so people don't need to waste their time going down a path that will never take them where they want to go. Though people believe this type of openness will limit their opportunities, in reality, they'll only limit the opportunities they wouldn't be interested in anyway.

[Bethany22]

I prefer to be spontaneous, so I hope that my boyfriend will still want to be loyal and consistent, and like the firm rock amongst the chaos.

[caring__1]

Never expect another person to balance you out. It works best if we come into any relationship already balanced within ourselves. Otherwise, you'll always be fighting against each other.

[Massageman]

Pareto principal. 80% consistency, 20% spontaneity

[love_conquers_lust]

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

[Archferret]

Seek balance