My boyfriend and I haven’t met for a little while because he’s been busy helping his mom with errands. Yesterday I asked him if we could meet and ‘he agreed’. Since I didn’t drive my bike yesterday to work, I asked him to pick me up. He agreed again. I thought that since we’re meeting at his house anyways, might as well pick me up on the way back home from where he was at (his mom’s). Though, he suddenly changed route so I asked where he’s going and he just whine that he’s so tired from driving his mom places and now he had to pick me up and he didn’t want to bring me back home. In my mind I was like chill…. But I’m just really upset he didn’t let me know first so I think clearly I have the right to get upset because I’m dumbfounded? I don’t really want to go into detail because it’s going to be long but I cried because I’m upset that what he does made me feel so one sided. But he told me that I’m making things difficult “for myself” when I cry. He asked me why can’t I understand that he’s tired? But I do, I just wanted him to tell me the change of plan? He makes me feel like I can’t get upset and he makes it feel like I’m just picking fights.
My boyfriend said I’m only making it difficult for myself when I cry?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Honestly you sound like you’re too much. Crying because he changed his mind? Really? To me this is indicative of what type of a partner you will be later on down the road, even into marriage I’d it makes it that far. Like he said he’s tired of running around doing things for his mom, as much as he loves her he needs a break. It can get frustrating. So then to come home to something like this. Like man I just want to relax now you’re crying. I’m sure if you changed your mind about something else, then he threw a fit, got angry you’d say I have a right to change my mind I don’t need to tell him everything. It’s not like it was something big like a trip, then just changed his mind at the last minute we’re not going.
A man needs a break and now you’re crying. Yes this can indicate what partner you’ll be in the future too. I’m not crying because he changed his mind, I’m crying because we uses to fight for the same thing and he told me he would change but he never tried. A heads up would be nice, you have the right to change your mind but we have the right to know that you changed your mind when you clearly agreed in the first place. Even to friends, I would still give them a heads up whether I changed my mind or not. We haven’t met for a while and it’s clearly not a big trip but it’s the thought that matters. I understand he’s tired, but he told me he didn’t want to tell me he changed his mind because he’s afraid I was upset then instead he just didn’t tell me?
Yeah because everything seems like it’s devastating to you. I wouldn’t say much either. So if you changed your mind at the last minute about sex cause you had a “headache” he’s justified in getting mad?
Yes because it is in a bigger picture with our relationship, I’m at somewhat a bit of a breaking point. Also, I never changed my mind last minute about sex so I have no opinion but he used to and I didn’t mind that because at least he told me about it. Th e point is, just tell me. Don’t leave me hanging and let me know until it’s been done.
Ok so do you expect a man to lead in the relationship? Most women want that. Even if it means making decisions w out consulting her. If you’re at a breaking point then break it off. Obviously he hasn’t changed.
No I don’t expect a man to lead in the relationship, we can both lead through situation. In this, I asked him to meet. He agreed he said he also misses me and he agreed to pick me up and spend time and when he picked me up he just took me home without telling me and whined that he’s tired? That’s just upsetting, it makes me feel a bit unimportant…? Making decisions without consulting her? Nah, it depends. This? We made plan “together” to see each other. You’re making relationship sounds like business. Just tell your girlfriend you you don’t think you can because you’re tired. honestly still doesn’t make sense it’s like you agreed to go on a date then just changed your mind without telling her. How does that even make sense?
Two people leading in a relationship doesn’t usually workout. So if he picked you up, said you know what I’m tired. I have a headache. Can I just drop you off, I want to sleep. Would that have been more accepting?
Yes! That would be really great, if only he could say that and I think that’s how all relationship should be. Whether that be a girl or a guy to say it
Ok so that’s how you think relationships should. I can say I’m sure other women would w at the same. But men don’t think in that way. But because we don’t it’s always the men who are wrong. Women think that because they think a certain way a man is supposed to think or feel the same. Doesn’t happen.
It’s not always about men and women in relationship, it’s 2 people as a whole. It’s not something hard to fulfill by just informing your loved one and not making them feel a certain way and it hurts them because they love you. If you can’t just do a little small thing like that, what’s the point? It’s not that men are wrong because they didn’t think the same way, it’s when they didn’t even try to do the simple thing that they can instead they simply just don’t want to do it.
I think what u said about dropping off I want to sleep, is really nice. Do you not think so? Would you rather not say anything and just decide without a word? I think for someone to be able to confront, it took courage and the willingness to better the relationship and communication. Dropping ego because you love each other.
He's the one who is a whiner. Too tired to drive you home? Seriously? 😢
And he doesn't feel bad about making you feel bad?
No communication. No apology. No respect. No heart.
Instead, he belittles you and tries to make you out to be the bad guy. That's cold blooded and manipulative.
That guy doesn't give a shit about you. But I'll bet he expects you to service him sexually.
Why are you with him?
Well all I wanted was for him to tell me before I asked him and he whined instead of reasoning with me. I cried and he said Im Making it difficult for myself. Tho I didn’t cry to him cuz there’s no point but I just let him know cuz it took us a while to reason with each other
I know it... My hubby also quite often assumes, I know things because he knows them...
And to be honest, those are moments I cry quite often.
Right, sometimes they want us to be patient with them but they can’t seem to do it themself