I'll make it simple.. I really love her and my intention is to marry her. I'm no saint but my every intention with her is to build a loving family and home with her (as we both came from bad families)
Dating my girlfriend for 7 months now.. what I have done so far
- I change lie 180 in order to be deserving and better for her and our relationships
- I put my ego down
- I have some issues with myself but I ensured her that I'll will fix it for her
- I found out about the terrible things she did in her past but I still loved her the same if not more (even her friends and family can really see that)
- I shared my concerns with her, my boundaries and my triggers (which I still try to fix), and I've shared with her how I would appreciate certain ways for her to act (IT WAS ALL DONE WITHIN LOGICAL REASON AND NOT ASKING FOR INNAPROPRIATE THINGS)
- I still love her and treat her the way I treated her when we first started dating and don't plan on changing
- I make sure to be wary and careful with what I say as to not trigger her or make her feel uncomfortable.
- FR I used to be a very short tempered person, but that changed completely for her and myself...
- I also changed for the better and explain things to her whenever I overthink.. but she doesn't do jack
what she has done
- She's still the same
- whenever we have an argument she always opts to break up like she doesn't care about our relationship..
- She doesn't try to get better
but I still love her very much and will not give up in trying to make her know I really love her..
I just need help on what to do...
Updates
5 mo
After 7 months of dating + talking about what we both want and need.. Im the only one seeming to improve for the relationship.. what should I do? Please no breakup opinions. I want to make things work.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Dang man, that's a tough situation. It really sounds like you've put in a ton of effort to improve yourself and make things work. 7 months is a good amount of time to see if someone is willing to meet you halfway too.
From the outside, it doesn't seem fair that you're the only one making changes and sacrifices. A relationship needs both people committed to growth. Her always threatening breakups during fights shows she may not be ready to work through problems yet.
As much as you care about her, you also have to care about yourself too, you know? Maybe try being real with her, lay it all out there - everything you've done, and how you still feel she's not matching your effort. See how she responds. Her actions after that could help you decide what to do.
If she isn't willing to try harder, it might be time to accept she's just not in the same place as you right now. Doesn't mean you gave up too soon or that you're not good enough. Just means you both need different things. As hard as it is, walking away could be what's healthiest for you both in the long run. But I hope you at least get some clarity first on where her heads at. Good luck man, keep your chin up!
What a mess. Do both of you a favor and end it.