Do you believe there is an age limit on finding happiness with a forever person?

Question

I’m 45 still single never married, had two long-term, horrible relationships. Now I’m so picky I won’t give anyone a chance. And of course you got friends and family saying stuff to you like are you ever gonna get married? You’re gonna be alone forever if you don’t lower your standards, I’ve saw plenty of videos, saying at my age no one‘s ever gonna want a woman my age because men my age want a younger woman. I still believe I’ll find the right person in God‘s time.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

There is no age limit on finding your person, if there was there wouldn’t people getting married in their forties, fifties and above. I think you need to do some self reflection as both of your long term relationships were bad and you are the common denominator. What attracted you to them? What can you change and how can you grow from that? I think identifying the problem, acknowledging it, and then making active changes to grow from it can be really hard to do but it can also help you break that cycle. Whenever you’re 18-22ish there are a lot of options out there for both men and women, and then suddenly they’re all in relationships and it just gets harder. That doesn’t mean that just because you’re 45 nobody is going want you. That is a silly thought. The dating pool is just smaller. Keep working on being the best version of yourself and be realistic on who you can date. If you’re really overweight/inactive, for example, you might not attract the gym bro and will probably attract someone with a similar lifestyle. It is okay to have high standards but you need to be able to offer the same, or be willing to bend a little on the things that don’t actually matter. Like let’s say you want someone with brown eyes and he has blue or he makes 47k instead of 50, yeah maybe bend on that. But unhygienic and rude? No way.

crystalline0909 · Accepted Answer

As long as you are okay being alone for as long as it's gonna take.
But don't expect any younger man or kids.
Suppose you have your first child at 47 you will be a senior citizen before yourcl child even graduates. Not good for your future children, only struggle for them.

Peter_Penetrator · Accepted Answer

The trick is not to go looking. I am 51. I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years. I was in a horrible marriage for 18 years, l truly loved her and gave her plenty of time to change.
Anyway, as l am out and about, if l see an active woman, and usually she is working, l flirt, and l don’t interfere with her working. I gage whether she is receptive to my friendliness. I just want to see where it leads because l usually frequent these locations often. I take care of my business then move on. I find it fun and hope that if that woman is having a bad or stressful day, l can brighten it. I want to make a good impression on them so they remember me. I never know when l might run into them again somewhere outside of their job and since they are comfortable with me it may lead to a date.

The more ladies that l meet the better my odds. I flirt with 20 somethings up to their upper 50’s. I am in no hurry for a relationship, but if l come across someone that respects me l am all for it. Just because a person is a certain age chronologically, doesn’t mean they have lived a life that equals that in mentality. If you keep a realistic mindset neither of you should regret the relationship.

Holsen · Accepted Answer

Biggest mistake you will ever make is lowering the standards. Another mistake is that people think we should be with someone because that’s the norm but we as humans are made perfectly self sufficient at least in this regard we don’t necessarily need to have a husband or wife as our self is like one if you get to know it that deep. Secondly not giving a chance is also bad as raises the possibility of wasted opportunities, instead work with intuition and be cautious and take it slowly and the most important thing is :don’t compromise! Finally to give your question an answer it’s never too late!

caring__1 · Answer

You say your want a relationship, not a marriage. You chose two horrible relationships, so the question may be how you determine who you will choose. Are your eyes open to the total package, or do you primarily prioritize certain aspects and overlook others? There are potential partners out there, but look at what you are seeking. It's not about settling or compromising your basic beliefs; it's about asking yourself whether your expectations are realistic or not.

Do you seek more than you bring to a relationship? Imbalance will always add extra challenges to a relationship. Are you seeking a special connection or a provider of a lifestyle? Do you consider what he has to gain by being with you, or do you primarily focus on what you have to gain? Do you prioritize making sure both of you always feel safe, secure and special, or do you feel entitled to say or do whatever you want whenever you want? Do you focus on who they are today or the potential they can become in the future? Do you expect others to change for you? Are you willing to make the same types of changes you expect of others?

People can find love at any age. People are available to connect with. Associating with those similar to you will raise your likelihood of creating something enduring. Take time to get to know potential partners before you let your emotions carry you away or you make too much of an investment. Learn their past patterns when dealing with frustration and disappointment, as these patterns may reappear. As long as you are realistic, there are people to be found. Just choose the locations you seek people wisely. Observe them in action, so you know their basic essence before you connect with them. Choose volunteering, interest groups or service groups over often inaccurate dating apps.

Finchie40 · Answer

No , age to me is just a number for the most part as long as they are of legal age of consent , if i meet a girl that has a lot of chemistry and connection with me and we are both attracted to each other, her age doesn’t really matter to me, I dated girls that were younger and older than me , so age doesn’t really matter to me honestly, if I find out we have a big age gap , I am not automatically going to not like her anymore , to me that’s silly , I like to think I am wise enough to not go for a girl that is way younger than me , that is under legal age , but I had girls that were under legal age flirt with me and try to come on to me , i laugh and smile and feel flattered that she finds me attractive but I just tease them and tell them to wait until they are of legal age , call me on your 18th birthday lol But if she is of legal age and we are both attracted to each other my ass is taking her to the bedroom to rock her world

Avicenna · Answer

No, and you are actually in a better position than many women your age because you aren't a single mom. Meeting someone can be random, but don't be too picky.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I will be 69 years old when I get married next April. No, I don't believe in age limits.

abc3643 · Answer

I don't want to say "lower your standards", but you may need to change them or look into new-previously-unthought-of groups of men.

For instance, widowers around your age. They do exist and many widowers, especially the younger ones, will be interested in finding love again.

You may want to stream on Paramount+ the 2-season CBS series "The Unicorn" which is about a man in his 40s whose wife had died leaving him with 2 daughters, now 13 and 11. The series begins about a year after his wife died. His friends, two couples, tell him he needs to get out there. The women friends tell him he's a unicorn: He was in a committed relationship for 20 years, is responsible, and available needing sex. So, they make a dating profile for him and *boom* he's getting right-swiped right-away.

Now, he doesn't become a lothario, but the series is about his journey and those of his daughters as they are growing up having to move on without Mom and seeing Dad date again. It was very good and it is a shame that CBS cancelled it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI9HtyuexBk

=
In my real life, I've had 4 friends who all became widowers in their 40s or 50s. To the best of my knowledge, all but one went into new relationships but I simply don't know the status of the 4th one. 2 of them remarried, I know that.

So, consider a widower who has lost his spouse at least a year ago.

OH!
I forgot!
My mom... My father died almost 21 years ago. After 3.5 years, my mom started shacking up (*) with a man 4 years younger who suddenly lost his spouse about a year earlier. So, they've been together for 17 years now.
(*) They are not married because if they did get married they'd lose their dead spouses' benefits. So, instead, they live together as if they are married and have a legal contract to that effect.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Yep but high standards and age and you have kids on top of That, you've got a lot of things working against you there, lowering your standards seems like the best choice, let's not forget God doesn't tell us to be picky, when it comes to things he didn't ask you to look for in a man, because God will want someone that's good for you but your own personal high standards can sabotage that if the person is right infront of you, you should always be open minded to the idea of different when it comes to your standards, growing up I was open and I've realized many things that are different that I didn't believe I'd like, I ended up doing so, I wasn't into brainy women, I gave that a chance and I love it, I wasn't into thicker women, I was fantasizing about some model type body, I gave a thicker woman a chance, that's grown on me as Well, never liked short hair on women, some women's personalities change my perspective on that and short hair has grown on me as Well, was open to it and now my standards opened more opportunities for me, I'd say give it a shot.

Berethor · Answer

Technically there is no hard cap, but it's clearly become harder and harder to find a relationship at old age, especially for women, men prefer young women because women are valued for their looks and fertility, I don't think that there is much point for a man to marry you at that age, when you can't give him children, so you miss the train for children and likely for marriage too, you would be lucky to find a new relationship, don't expect a marriage. You become more picky after your market value had fallen fast? really? yea good luck with that.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

I don’t believe in an age limit. I do believe that being realistic is important. There is a point where it’s best to accept that relationships are part of a compromise. Sometimes people can hide an unwillingness to compromise in life under a veil of just trying to keep a standard.

Honestly your criteria, or standard, seems shockingly attainable and normal so I have to wonder what else happened in these relationships that caused them to fail.

My happiness in life and relationships really came when I reflect on the undeniable fact that the only single common denominator in a series of failed relationships was…Me. Once I focused in on who I was everything changed.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Forever. I wasn't married til 55 and had two horrible relationships before that.

It just means you got some things to learn and wake up because the chooser has some issues. It has nothing to do with men, but you growing.

You look like a "nice person"... often synomymous with empathetic, easy going, caregiver, happy go lucky, highly sensitive... synonymous with weak, easily taken advantage of, drawn to opposite energy.

If not aware of yourself, with strength to hold boundaires, filter out trouble, you will fall into deep holes.

Work on thyself, try again.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Age limit? No! I'm divorced since 2007, and i'm very well even though i'm single... i cannot deny that I crave a Woman... a lot, but i know that even tge body is 41 the mind is still 18-20... So i don't care how others see me...🤷‍♂️, i've been called Grumpy, Nervous, Unapproachable, etc, and soon as they got closer, after 10 minutes they were like...😳 oh! Didn't knew you can be so Fun, so good with things, like music, bbq, party, etc, etc... the less you let people know about you the "better" 😉🤫, just keep that "gem" hidden... that's all... Don't over share it! 🤷‍♂️

JacobJordan · Answer

it would depend on your qualifications. and unfortunately your past. statistically speaking if you or any other woman has had more than 2 sexual partners your odds of a healthy/happy relationship are 30% which is not great odds. if you have the standard essay worth of qualifications then likely yes you will be alone. if you have a list that is something along the lines of

1. treats me well

2. is healthy (can be defined semi broadly mine was not fat, doesn't smoke, doesn't party, no make up, no drugs, no alcohol, no tattoos)

3. treats his/herself well

then yes you should be able to find an entire host of guys willing to date and even marry you. 1 big thing though is going to be guys who want kids. 45 is up there so odds of being able to birth a child are getting lower and lower. that will discourage some guys from pursuing a relationship.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Nope. My grandfather did it in his 90s. Be strong. Take up your cross and walk the path as Jesus did. Find happiness in yourself then happiness finds you. It’s funny how love happens when you aren’t looking for it.

Cast a wide net and learn to love unconditionally, especially of yourself. Know thyself, love thyself. Expand your social networks and stay involved. Have fun with friends and enjoy what you do have and CAN control. Hopefully your path crosses with another to your liking on a similar journey.

DextroShade · Answer

You are going to have to settle and quit being so picky if you don't want to die alone because any guy you get with would also be settling for you as you are way past your prime. In your case that means he will be a significantly older average-earning man and you will be lucky to have him.

Also, God won't help you here because you didn't follow His command to give your virginity to your husband; He isn't a genie you can call on to bail you out of your bad decisions.

RingOfFire · Answer

I think you are born with a certain amount of capacity for romantic relationships and once you use up your supply, there is nothing left.

I would not have told you that 15 or 20 years ago because I still had some of my supply left. I don't think you can really understand it until it is gone.

But I do have to say that back then I thought it was gone, but it wasn't. So you really can't tell. It could revive. If that is what you really want there is always hope.

Everything is relative. To me 45 is still young. You likely have some left.

Anonymous · Answer

No, it's more of a personal thing. From my experience, if you're a really nice person and are very loyal and have lots of love and caring to give an S. O., you won't ever get anything except, maybe, some random trash that steps into your life for a few weeks or so before they fuck you over or at least break your heart. If you don't beat the fuck out of them on a regular basis, they don't want you.
Apparently, girls need to be able to accept being beat up regularly to get a guy. I've never been able to understand why but, those are the guys girls all want!!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Well it is easier when we are younger, however there really are people out there who are over 45 who are "looking". And it could be in the long run you might be happy being single anyway. I live in a neighborhood where there are a lot of single women who are older, and either divorced or widowed, and I'd say very few of them are looking to re-marry. From the way it looks to me, most are content being single.

FoxEyez · Answer

Oh yeah, 100%. Because c'mon, if the guy is 80 and can't have sex, go out, and do fun things, then what the hell are you doing with them? Life should be spent having good times and making love. But If you really think you can have a good life with them, then sure, go ahead. But there will always be generational differences as well.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

There is no age limit. I've known plenty of couples older than you who got married. I know someone who is getting married the first time in their late 60s. I've known several people in their 80s who got married.

Is this something you really want to do yourself? Or are you just giving in to peer pressure? Some people can't stand to see someone who is single, and won't shut up about it.

Fireguy17 · Answer

nope, not at all.
You just have to take a look at who you/what are looking for, and you need to take more time before going yep that is the one for me.
Try not to repeat the mistakes from the past.
Figure out what you did or where it went wrong and watch for the warning signs before you get into a relationship with someone.
it will happen, and when you least expect it.

nastyb · Answer

if you're 45 years old, you will likely only have men in their 50s-60s trying to go for you. Men dont want to date women their own age. If you find men in their 50s-60s repulsive, then you don't have many options.

But I think chances of finding love does shrink as you get older. This is for both men and women.

Do you believe there is an age limit on finding happiness with a forever person?

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