You’re sexually incompatible or you don’t love him. Sit down with him and communicate your feelings and thoughts very clearly so he knows where he stands and together make a decision on your future because as things stand I don’t see a future for you.
"done it many times before him" That is your problem.
That is why once a woman has 5+ sexual partners she will most likely NEVER be a good partner for a man that wants a serious relationship. He should just leave you and find someone more compatible. Sex will never be special to you because you have done it too much with other people already.
Women with your past are the type that good men should avoid for relationships.
While I don't agree with him breaking up with you over sex.. It seems you are kinda disregarding him and not at least meeting him half way.. It also seems to be that he tries to take you out to get you in the mood and it just doesn't happen.. I don't think he does it because as a way of payment for you to have sex with him.. I do agree that he's too horny and needs to calm down and try and be romantic with you, but it also seems like you're a little nonchalant about what he wants.
Unless you find him both boring and unattractive, there is something wrong with you. You shouldn't be that tired, you should want sex at least daily, something would have to be wrong physically, some kind of illness or malnutrition or lack of restful sleep.
That's completely reasonable , at your age it should be in the very least every other day , if you are not meeting that KPI , what's the point of him hanging around , that's just friendship , so fair enough on his part , reasonable.
It's not that "there's something wrong with you". but it seems you aren't sexually compatible -- but your desires for sex don't match. Maybe you should break up and seek a partner who's desire is more aligned to yours.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
6 mo
“he tells me it’s the way that he can show that he loves me…But sex for me is just sex”.
Yes, this is typical difference between men and women. For men, sex is making love. For women, sex is just sex, just a physical act with no feelings or emotion. I feel sorry for women that they cannot feel love, intimacy and deep emotional connection through sex like men do.
“Sometimes I do want to have sex but not in the way that he expects me to do it.”
Oh, I see. And it probably means you don’t enjoy going out because of his motive and you know what he will expect after? Yes, it is a big problem if a guy does that.
he seems to think you are effectively his sex toy. it has nothing to do with you and what you may want rather what he wants and expects.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
6 mo
It's best for both of you if you break up. It would be better for you because your current situation is making you cynical about sex and him. It would be better for him because at his age it's very normal to have sex at least every other day and very frustrating as a guy to be with a woman who isn't into it and isn't also enthusiastic about it. It's hard on a guy emotionally, something you can't relate to.
You have done sex many times, so you are that much interested and you are sexually cool and contended, but your boyfriend is not, you are his first girlfriend so he want to enjoy sex life but you are refusing. Instead of wasting his time and suppressing his desires, you clearly tell him, that you are not for him, and engage other girl
I mean my boyfriend and I haven't really done much but we at least do things haven't done sex yet and again I think we're just both active like that I don't know
Firstly you don’t need sex to show you love a person. I know somewhere out there there’re some couples out there who don’t have sex and are still happy together.
Some of us just have sex just to please our partners but still you shouldn’t be forcing someone to have sex when they’re not in the mood. You’re not going to enjoy it.
I say let him leave. He doesn’t respect you. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you’re going to want it all the time. You’re allowed to have breaks and recharge. If he can’t understand that, then tell him to kick rocks.
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Opinion
44Opinion
You’re sexually incompatible or you don’t love him. Sit down with him and communicate your feelings and thoughts very clearly so he knows where he stands and together make a decision on your future because as things stand I don’t see a future for you.
"done it many times before him" That is your problem.
That is why once a woman has 5+ sexual partners she will most likely NEVER be a good partner for a man that wants a serious relationship. He should just leave you and find someone more compatible. Sex will never be special to you because you have done it too much with other people already.
Women with your past are the type that good men should avoid for relationships.
You have to set some boundaries, but also I suspect that it isn't going to work out.
For him, regular sex is an important part of the relationship. Not only for pleasure but for bonding.
Perhaps it could be that you have less sex, but when you do, it's a bit more wild and kinky?
Exactly. I only can have sex when in the mood and feeling more wild and kinky. But not just everyday casual thing
While I don't agree with him breaking up with you over sex.. It seems you are kinda disregarding him and not at least meeting him half way.. It also seems to be that he tries to take you out to get you in the mood and it just doesn't happen.. I don't think he does it because as a way of payment for you to have sex with him.. I do agree that he's too horny and needs to calm down and try and be romantic with you, but it also seems like you're a little nonchalant about what he wants.
Unless you find him both boring and unattractive, there is something wrong with you. You shouldn't be that tired, you should want sex at least daily, something would have to be wrong physically, some kind of illness or malnutrition or lack of restful sleep.
And if you do find him both boring and unattractive, then there is still something wrong with you, because you're staying with an incompatible person.
That's completely reasonable , at your age it should be in the very least every other day , if you are not meeting that KPI , what's the point of him hanging around , that's just friendship , so fair enough on his part , reasonable.
It's not that "there's something wrong with you". but it seems you aren't sexually compatible -- but your desires for sex don't match. Maybe you should break up and seek a partner who's desire is more aligned to yours.
“he tells me it’s the way that he can show that he loves me…But sex for me is just sex”.
Yes, this is typical difference between men and women. For men, sex is making love. For women, sex is just sex, just a physical act with no feelings or emotion. I feel sorry for women that they cannot feel love, intimacy and deep emotional connection through sex like men do.
“Sometimes I do want to have sex but not in the way that he expects me to do it.”
What do you mean by this?
Like he expects me to have sex with him just because he invited me out
Oh, I see. And it probably means you don’t enjoy going out because of his motive and you know what he will expect after? Yes, it is a big problem if a guy does that.
uh... you need to break up with him
he seems to think you are effectively his sex toy. it has nothing to do with you and what you may want rather what he wants and expects.
It's best for both of you if you break up. It would be better for you because your current situation is making you cynical about sex and him. It would be better for him because at his age it's very normal to have sex at least every other day and very frustrating as a guy to be with a woman who isn't into it and isn't also enthusiastic about it. It's hard on a guy emotionally, something you can't relate to.
The next time he wants sex, tell him "Sure... but"
"You have to make sure I have an orgasm first."
Be a sport and communicate what usually works for you,
but absolutely do not fake it.
See how that goes.
You have done sex many times, so you are that much interested and you are sexually cool and contended, but your boyfriend is not, you are his first girlfriend so he want to enjoy sex life but you are refusing.
Instead of wasting his time and suppressing his desires, you clearly tell him, that you are not for him, and engage other girl
WoW you’re like his chattel, why are you still here asking for advise, you know Everything you need to know.
If that was me, I would LEAVE, my body rules.
I mean my boyfriend and I haven't really done much but we at least do things haven't done sex yet and again I think we're just both active like that I don't know
'But sex for me is just sex (done it many times before him).'
What do you mean by that? Have you had a high number of previous partners?
Yea I had
Then this is why. You are sexually incompatible.
See the following:
What should be a minimum body count for a girl to be considered a slut? ↗
Read MikeTheBartender comment for more clarity...
Firstly you don’t need sex to show you love a person. I know somewhere out there there’re some couples out there who don’t have sex and are still happy together.
Some of us just have sex just to please our partners but still you shouldn’t be forcing someone to have sex when they’re not in the mood. You’re not going to enjoy it.
Tell him to go and masturbate.
If it gets overbearing just leave.
I say let him leave. He doesn’t respect you. Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you’re going to want it all the time. You’re allowed to have breaks and recharge. If he can’t understand that, then tell him to kick rocks.
In summary you have just found out, that boys on average want to have sex 3x per day.
You both are sexually incompatible. This attributes to the break up.
Time you move on to a more same and mature guy. It's not gonna get fixed.
Sane*
dump him. average lady libido is once a week sometimes twice a week during 20s.