What do I do currently if I supposedly fell for a married guy I never thought this would happen in my life but it happened oddly at work?

[Anonymous]

Well basically that guy was the one who approached me first and I was having a rough time at work one time period and he encouraged and motivated me a lot and I’m that kinda person that I don’t let anyone get into my heart unless someone is special and I’ve came out of broken relationship so I was focusing on myself until he came along , and now I feel like I have a little feelings for him or I guess I act towards him a little extra than to others but he led me on I can say bc he would always try talking to me and always getting in my face and I kept saying you’re wife yet he brushed it off and I just acted maybe a bit nicer maybe due to having a big heart and I can say now and fell for him well I guess I did bc he is in my mind a lot and we even started doing favors for each other at work… but one day I was like stoppp he is married after all how would I feel if someone did it to my wife so I confronted him that we both are in wrong path so I try getting away from him but it’s hard what do I do

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn luv, this is a messy situation for sure. As much as you like this dude, messing with a married man can only end in heartbreak. Some thoughts:

- Clearly he's not respecting his wedding vows by moving on you, so that shows his character ain't great.

- Even if he leaves his wife for you somehow, how do you know he won't do the same to you down the line?

- His marriage is not your problem. Don't let him drag you into the drama and mess that'll come if his wife finds out.

- You deserve way better than being some guy's side piece. You're an amazing, loyal woman - don't settle for less!

My advice would be to cut all contact, for your own self-respect. No more friendly chats, favors - nothing. Stay polite but distant at work. In time your feelings will fade as you meet someone available who can give you their whole heart.

You got this sis! Focus on yourself and the right guy will come. And don't ever look back on this married clown - you're way above that mess, feel me?

[Asker]

Right why does he think he has the right to drag me into this mess and I even told him from day 1 that I’m waiting for the right man from god should’ve he had respected that

[Asker]

Like he literally gets upset if I don’t give him some sort of attention at work, and it’s hard to stay away from him when he always seems to find a way to come around me

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh man that is so not cool of him. He clearly doesn't respect your boundaries at all. Just cause he's upset doesn't mean you gotta give him attention. He made his bed messing with a married girl, now he's gotta deal with not getting what he wants.

You gotta stand your ground and set some hard boundaries. Be polite but keep it short when he tries to talk to you. Make it clear you're just there to work, nothing else. Don't let him manipulate you into feeling bad.

If he keeps bothering you after that, you might need to get your boss or HR involved. No one should have to deal with that crap at work. You said you wanted to wait for the right person, so don't let this jerk mess that up for you. Stay strong, you got this!

[Asker]

Yea he might intentionally trying to mess up for me bc he just always finds way to be near me at work and talk just annoying tbh

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, I hate that for you! Dude clearly can't take a hint. Always finding ways to be near you and talk is straight up harassment at this point, for real.

You gotta put him in his place, girl! Next time he pulls that, look him dead in the eye and say firmly but calmly "I told you we need to keep our interactions professional only. Your constant attempts to get my attention are making me uncomfortable. Back off."

If he argues or doesn't listen, go right to HR. You don't deserve to feel stressed at work over some jerk. And maybe his wife needs to know what her hubby is really up to on the side too.

Stay strong! You got this queen. And if any friends or coworkers see him bothering you, tell them straight up you don't want him near you. Stick together! Soon as the boss hears, bet this loser finds somewhere else to work real quick. You don't need that toxicity sis!

Women gotta stand up for each other. Let me know if it gets bad, you got backup. He tries anything again, ain't nobody got time for that mess!

[Tim2nice]

You could share him. Sometimes it’s better than being married

[Asker]

Huhhh

[Asker]

What does that supposed to even mean

[Asker]

I’m not married he is the one married

[Tim2nice]

I meant sharing someone without being married to them is better in some cases. For instance, I’m married and I work long hours, so most nights I find my wife asleep when I get home. During this time I’m away she could have a good time with a boyfriend or friend with benefits. This kind of arrangement would work better for the 3rd party, but I don’t know what you actually want

[Asker]

I want a full committed relationship I don't know what that guy wants tbh

[Tim2nice]

Then you have to ask him but people very rarely leave their spouses for someone else unless their marriage or relationship is dead

[Joker_]

divorce him, then marry him

[Asker]

Divorce him

[Asker]

I’m not married to him

[Asker]

Seriously

[Joker_]

orchestrate his divorce

[Asker]

That’s not even funny and what if he really loves his wife

[Joker_]

you're right, gosh I didn't think about that

[Joker_]

ensure his marriage lasts without any hitches or glitches, in that case

[Asker]

I always remind him of his wife and give him hints

[Asker]

You think he was looking to cheat

[Joker_]

yes I think he was looking to cheat

[Asker]

Oh wow I don't know

[Joker_]

who can say