Am I crazy for wanting a proposal now?

[Simslover92]

I don't think my boyfriend plans on proposing anytime soon or wants to which I should be okay with because we've only been together for seven months but I can't help but feel strongly about him to the point that I want to be proposed to.

I kind of hinted at wanting it by bringing up getting my ring finger sized since I don't wear rings and he just asked me why I wanted to get it sized and I said just because.

So am I crazy for wanting this now? Is it too soon?

[NathanDavis]

I firmly believe that something like marriage should be decided by both parties... and both should be fully into it... never ever a one-sided wish

even if a surprise proposal... one should be firmly convinced and sure that the partner will say yes, and indeed will want to spend the rest of their lives together...

and if previously brought up or discussed, in one sided is unsure or they just don't want it for whatever reason... then one should not insist on someone who's not wanting to spend the rest of their lives with you...

it's not much about timing but affinity... if you two are not on the same page about this, best not to obsess about it now

[Simslover92]

Everything you said here is so true. Thank you.

[NathanDavis]

most welcome... and best of luck with it (=

[RealMarek]

It’s not bad to desire marriage, but if he wasn’t affirmative of your bringing up the ring size it would be best to be patient and wait until you have known him for a full year before bringing it up again. Use the time to get to know him even better.

[Simslover92]

Ok I can definitely do that! Thanks!

[RealMarek]

You’re welcome!

[kylee2437]

No but don’t rush the process. Have you asked him about his timeline when it comes to relationships?

[Simslover92]

No I haven't. I guess I probably should. Thanks.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you wanting to have children and you hear the clock ticking?

[Simslover92]

I do want kids but not before the marriage.

[OlderAndWiser]

So does that make you feel that you need to hurry? Does he want to have children or has the subject even been discussed?

[Simslover92]

Yes he does want children just not right now and no that's not why I want to hurry. I genuinely am in love with him so much so that I want to marry him now.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have the two of you experienced conflicts and resolved them? Have you met each other's families and friends? Have you discussed the issues that you would need to address as a couple, like children, stay-at-home mom, etc?

[OlderAndWiser]

And how many children do you want?

[Simslover92]

No to all of that. I guess I'm jumping the gun a bit. And I want 3 children.

[OlderAndWiser]

You may be jumping ahead a bit, but time is also an issue. If you get married two years from now, you will be 33 years old. You should wait two years before having a child, to make sure that you are settling in to a stable marriage, so that means you are 35 when your fist child is born. You should have at least two years between children, so you would be at least 37 and 39 when the second and third children were born. That is relatively old to be having your third child.

[Simslover92]

That's what I know. Time is certainly of the essence is my case. But I want him to be on the same page as I am and right now I don't think he is.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you think her is The One, then you just need to be patient. Starting over with someone new just pushes the timeline back even more.

[Simslover92]

Ok I can be patient because I do think he is the one.

[Flatmanlewis]

Well, crazy or not - I don’t know since I don’t know you. The REASON for the wanting a proposal is the biggest factor to me. If it’s because you love him and want ti spend the rest of your life with him, then maybe it’s not crazy. If you’re trying to beat some timeline in your mind then maybe you’re rushing it.


The one thing is this, you think you ‘hinted’ At something but he didn’t take it that was. I promise. We don’t receive hints very well as men. Also, hinting at anything is a very poor way to guide a relationship. Be direct. Be straight up. Do not try and hint to the place you want to be at. It’s inefficient and not very healthy way to communicate.

[Simslover92]

I want the proposal because I love him and want to be with him. But you're right. I definitely should just be straightforward. Thank you!

[midnightmoon05]

7-9 months is the right time to be thinking about the next page… engagement.
does he feel the same?
sounds like you need to work on your communication skills with him,

this is in your head…you have to learn to communicate.. sizing yiur finger is a hint… some guys don’t take indirect hints..

More direct would be go ring shopping. That way you can see if he is as excited as you… otherwise this can be a good open discussion regarding the next chapter … if he is on the same page.

[Simslover92]

That's very true. Communication is key. I will talk to him about it. Thanks!

[Holsen]

Way too soon, girl you just need to calm your horses down and enjoy every phase of it till marriage with all the ups and through struggling downs, so I think you should get your head back in reality as he might not even be your future husband so you’ll probably hurt yourself like that so while hopping that it continues strongly and lasduonately, I think you should be prepared just in case something happens!!

[Simslover92]

That's true. Thanks!

[Holsen]

You’re welcome!!

[Tim2nice]

You’re not crazy at all, but you have to ask him plainly if he sees marriage and children with you otherwise you’re wasting precious time. Some guys are content with a relationship and don’t necessarily want to get married or have children. You have to have this conversation as quick as possible

[Simslover92]

He does want marriage and children with me. We've discussed that much but as far as him wanting that now is another thing altogether. I don't think he wants it anytime soon like I do.

[Tim2nice]

Well, remind him you have a biological clock and he doesn’t. Ask him if he truly wants marriage and children because I’m not sure he does. I think he’s tagging you along

[Simslover92]

I don't think that's the case. Money is the biggest issue we have. He's struggling right now and so am I but we're both trying to get to a better place financially. I think once he's in a better place financially, he will want to propose and get married and start having kids.

[Tim2nice]

That’s a cop out. Me and wife were so broke and in debt when we met, but we worked together, rented a small studio apartment and had our child there. Now 8 years later we own our own home and have 2 children.

[Simslover92]

It's not a cop out when you have a lot of debt. There's no way to pay for a wedding when you have the amount of debt we have. My debt alone is about 24000 in credit card debt. I don't even know what his is but I know it's higher than 3000. I can't take out any loans because of debt meaning I can't pay for a proper wedding and kids are just out of the question with the debt we have. It's crippling to say the least.

[msc545]

It's way too soon. You were responding to the pleasure of sex and the pleasure of a relationship that is working well. You don't know enough to get married at this point. Don't mistake. Pleasure for love.

[Simslover92]

That's true. We just had sex when I thought about it and asked him about the ring thing so I definitely may be confusing my strong sexual bond with him for a strong marriage bond. I will try to slow things down and take it day by day. Thanks!

[Billlewis]

Not at all, and based on what I know of you, you absolutely deserve one.

[Simslover92]

Aww thanks Bill! That means a lot coming from you!

[Billlewis]

I appreciate your kind words, but you shouldn't be surprised by my sentiments at all. After all, I know how wonderful you are better than anyone -- except, of course, the luckiest guy in the world. For those of you who are reading this, 'The Luckiest Guy In The World' is known by this designation because he's Ms. Simslover's boyfriend.

[MTMYD]

Sorry to hear,

out my story what I can tell you is, my fiancé never proposed me with a ring we getting married in 8 weeks. We are long together. Don’t lose your hope. Hopefully he comes with proposal even without the ring. 🍀

[Simslover92]

Congrats! I hope so too! Thanks!

[Mansearching]

Getting to excited on something that might not happen. Calm down. When he's ready he'll ask.

[Simslover92]

Ok thanks!

[collie22]

If it was me I would pray on it asking for guidance.

[Simslover92]

I have definitely been doing that!

[collie22]

😊😊

[Anemone978]

Seems a bit fast... it really takes 2 years to really know you fit together..

[Simslover92]

Oh ok. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Only been together 7 months and already wanting to be proposed to. Crazy and way too fast.

[Simslover92]

Ok thanks for your opinion! I appreciate it! I feel it may be too fast as well. But at the same time I can't help how I feel.

[Twalli]

I don't propose before dating for 3 years. Marriage should be for life.

[Simslover92]

That's true.

[Twalli]

Part of it is how dateswork. If you're sick or having a bad day, you don't go out on a date then. You can't just not be married on those days. I want to make sure the baf things are not too much for me.

[Simslover92]

Ok I totally get it! You're so right.

[Anonymous]

If you pressure him into it the marriage most likely won't last long. He has to ne 100% sure he's ready for that on his own

[Opinion Owner]

But yeah, in my opinion 7 months is kind of crazy

[Simslover92]

Oh ok. Thanks.

[Joker_]

nah you're not crazy

[Simslover92]

Aww thanks!

[Nifrayu]

Have you considered proposing to him?

[Simslover92]

No. He definitely does not want that. We've discussed that already and he does not want to get proposed to. He wants to be the one to do it.

[Nifrayu]

Oh. Well that doesn't seem like a good sign.

[DextroShade]

You will have to earn it.

[Simslover92]

How will I earn it?

[DextroShade]

You make yourself irreplaceable to him by adding value to his life wherever you can in ways other than just sex. Also, don't screw it up by doing stupid hoe behaviors like going out to bars or clubs, getting tattoos, piercings, or danger hair, or having contact with other men including male "friends" and especially exes. Also, don't get fat.

[Simslover92]

Okay. I mean I would never do any of those things to begin with but noted.

[Kelly6]

don't rush it

[Simslover92]

Ok I will try not to

[BLP11520]

No you are not

[Simslover92]

Ok thanks!

[BLP11520]

Welcome 👍