My boyfriend never wants to have sex anymore but our lives are so intertwined at this point I’m not sure what to do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure if I’m happy in my relationship anymore. My boyfriend never wants to have sex with me, barely even touches me even though he says he loves me. Our finances are now merged, we have pets and live together. We moved across the country together, our lives are just incredibly intertwined, and I am not sure what to do anymore at this point. Any advice is appreciated.

[HollyK21]

When it’s time to go you just have to do it. I’ve been in that position, with the guy for 5 years and our lives were so merged it felt like too big of a loss to let him go. I realized there will always be an excuse though, whether it’s finances, marriage, kids, we use these situations and create unsurpassable obstacles in our minds when in reality none of that matters. You can’t be a proper girlfriend, wife, parent, when you are unhappy and your mental health suffers. Life is just too damn short to to suffer in a relationship with someone you have grown apart from. Yes you have deep ties with this guy but it’s nothing that can’t be sorted and eventually separated.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried relationship counseling? There could be something on his mind or something that is troubling him that he is too afraid to talk about. Perhaps there’s something he needs and is not getting.

[Tim2nice]

Have a serious talk with him. Tell him you can’t go on like this and give him an ultimatum to seek professional help or you’ll leave him and mean it. I went through a stage like this where I had absolutely no desire for sex at all for about 6 months. My wife was distraught but she believed me a few years later when her brother experienced the same problem and confessed to us that he just can’t do anything with his fiancé. Encourage him to get help and hopefully he’ll overcome this

[SolitarySolace]

Sex isn't everything. The fact that you're considering leaving just because of lack of sex says more about you than him. It is possible to love someone without sex. you're just solidifying my reasoning for staying single. All women want is sex.

[Jbear27]

Umm it’s in our instinctual dna to want to connect to another individual both emotionally and physically. For you to think you can have a healthy relationship without sex just tells me you’ve never really been in love and shared your body and soul completely. It is terribly hurtful when a spouse loses interest in being physical with you and fills your mind with thoughts of inadequacies. So while sex isn’t everything it’s actually pretty important in committed relationships. Just because you don’t bond sexual intimacy it doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. So don’t be so quick to judge this girl

[SolitarySolace]

I tried sex a few times with an ex 8 years ago and it never happened so she ended up cheating on me. Taught me that love and sex can't possibly create anything healthy put together. In my experience it's only caused heartache.

[Jbear27]

I’m sorry to hear that but that’s your individual experience. I was in a 20 year marriage and we had sex regularly and she still cheated on me. Some people just don’t have the proper internal moral compass to be faithful life partners. Doesn’t have to do with you engaging in sex or not. To me, Sex is a beautiful part of a fulfilling relationship and can make or break it as well.

[SolitarySolace]

So you're saying because I'm never going to have sex that that also means I'll never find love? Great lesson to teach this girl, man.

[Jbear27]

It is a good lesson. Sex is natural and normal in a heathy consensual relationship. To never have sex is extremely unusual. So in reality you shouldn’t be giving this girl advice at all. You don’t share her morals or perspective. You’re better off talking to nuns and monks.

[Jbear27]

As far as you finding love, I dunno. There are people whom fall in love and get married to inanimate objects so anything is possible. But if you’re going to neuter yourself, don’t give advice to those of us that enjoy the act of having sex.

[SolitarySolace]

Alright, whatever. Have fun sticking your dick in the next power outlet you come into contact with

[Jbear27]

They don’t make power outlets that big and even if they did it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience. When I said there are people that fall in love with inanimate objects I wasn’t referring to me. I love women. I’m in love with one in particular and we have sex all the time and it’s amazing. So I’ll keep sticking my dick in that outlet as she calls out in ecstasy. Mmm. Love it

[Nevoooooo]

could be cheating on you, could be bisexual. you could have sex too often in the past. he could have low testosterone.

[Anonymous]

You need to think about breaking up with him.

[FunkyMonkee]

Looks like you need to find some side dick!

[Joker_]

try intertwining yourself around him

[Anonymous]

So who do sex with u?

[jahaims]

Communicate with him