Cheating only Hurts if you find out? Agree or Disagree?

[Finchie40]

We all know cheating is wrong, but sadly people constantly do it to each other , whether they love the thrill of it or they are looking for someone to save them or they just find this other person absolutely attractive and can’t resist temptation etc. , Cheating happens more than we like to think , Cheating isn’t always physical , cheating can be emotional as well , Cheating is whatever you can do secretly behind your partners back So Does cheating only hurt when you find out? I know girls’ that cheat on their husbands and they have no clue , I know Guy’s that cheat on their girlfriends or wives and they have no clue , So do people just cheat for the thrill of it? How do you honestly love your partner if you can go screw other people? What is even the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can’t stay loyal?

[Chevy1_kb]

It does hurt when u find out mine cheated on me with two girls there both his girlfriend's now and he had a one night stand to he didn't tell me I found out in my gut he was and just to make sure I was correct to be honest it was to easy to see he stopped leaving his phone next to me when he went to the toilet and wouldn't let me see it when I asked him to prove he wasn't cheating when he was pissed one time he showed me pictures of a naked girl on his phone with her tits out and everything and said she was only a friend he is not into a said ok if ure not into her why do u still have the pictures on your phone a said does she know about me he said yeah so he phoned her I told him to tell her I said high everytime I asked him to I could tell he was pressing mute when he was saying it and then all I did was watch him like a hawk every move he made every word he said I remembered so if he back fierd on himself I would get him back by telling him and he thought and said I was stupid yeah right he's absolutley shit at lying it was all in his body launguage and eyes and actions towards me when I asked him about it now what I done one time was add this girl on Facebook she accepted and put pics of me and him having a cuddle and a kiss in pics and she replied what do u think your doing kissing my boyfriend a Sayed wit you on about am his girlfriend we called each other and I told her he's fucking us about she put us in a group call me him and her and there was a drama but she had to know he was with me first and that he was a cheating basterd and he doesn't deserve us but yet she still continued to remain with him she just lets him do anything but still gets back with him so he's Gonny remain with her no matter what relashionship he gets in with another girl cause she's letting him walk all over her and this pure girls in a wheelchair and talks. really slow aswel now he's cheating on her with another girl they both know about each other daft bitches but I also do feel sorry for the one in the wheelchair whether it's his girlfriend or not it's sick but yeah it hurts more when u find out more I had to find out all by myself am good at seeing through anyone guy friends family it's piss easy u just gotta have the mind set and power to do it to see in there minds

[D_Bone_Steak]

You got a lot of questions here. I'm going to start with he first. Cheating hurts if you or the other don't find out... it hurts in subliminal ways. You could be that person who suddenly finds yourself being compared to someone you don't even know exists... or find yourself subconsciously judging your partner that way. It will cause slow-acting drama... like drama on a slow drip straight to the veins and for both. It's incredibly selfish on the cheater's side of things because at least they got a choice about all this newfound drama that seemingly appears out of nowhere. One way or the other... it's going to cause a shit show on whatever relationship is going on even if they got away with it and they think their hands are clean. I could write a damn book on it... there is emotional withdrawal, attention placed elsewhere, and on and on... yeah it fucking hurts them both when they "got away with it" in the long run. Hits them both faster and harder when the cheater isn't smart enough to get away with it.

People cheating and have no clue... isn't that the fucking truth. Cheating just isn't the sex act... they could be carrying on an emotional affair and fucking their relationship up and not even accept that no... that person is not just nice, or just a really good friend... they're fucking up your shit! Your actual commitment life and that random other person is just the same as a "friend" that's dragging you into shit you shouldn't have shit to do with.

People can actually love who they cheat on. That affection is just a feeling though. People can get selfish af and only care about their here and now and not their commitments. They might end up making commitments they can't keep. Everything from lust to a lack of respect can draw a person closer to cheating. I myself went through a cheating phase... she cheated... so I got determined to cheat back. Revenge is a hell of a drug. It's not healthy when you have two people just trying to cheat on the other like it's some sort of game.

So what is the point of a relationship if they're just going to cheat? Good question... but I think it's about loyalty over something like who have you fucked recently. What ties 2 people together could just be emotional, could be kids, could be money... there is a lot of shit between those 2 people that's keeping it together. A lot of the time... it can make something get marked as forgiven and the relationship moves on.

In conclusion... I'll say this about relationships where no cheating is going on. I think they're both tired of the drama and bullshit of other people... and they finally just find homeostasis between each other and are too tired of other people's bullshit. Shit... half the time they can barely stand each other's bullshit. It's a fucking miracle they can do that.

[blueonblack22]

Cheaters usually start acting around their partners out of subconscious guilt unless they are sociopaths (and some are).

I am about 99% sure I had one ex cheat on me years ago. She never confessed it nor did I ever confront her about it. It was floating around in the back of my mind but i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt at the time. I thought if I accused her of something she was innocent of then it would destroy any chance at reconciliation.

However when I pieced the puzzle together it made perfect sense. It was the way she talked to me at the end. She has to see me as less then human to placate her guilty conscious. Self justify her bs to herself.

I also find that women cheat more out of “getting back at someone” vs men who just cheat out of lust.

[Apple1996]

Obviously there is the saying "ignorance is bliss" so yes cheating isn't hurtful until the person finds out but I think then it hurts them even worse if the cheating was being hidden for a long time.

[Jersey2]

And… if everyone else knows, that would hurt as well.

[AviatorTom]

Agree. If you don't know something is happening, you don't have any feelings about it. The problem is that cheating hurts a lot if you eventually find out about it.

[Sonorous]

Yes one must know in order to know. But it hurts more for men than it does women.

[JacobJordan]

people cheat because they can. because there is no consequence for it. in roman times if a woman cheated on her husband or partner. the partner/husband was allowed to wield the blade and put to death both the woman and the person she cheated with. not saying romans had it right but cheating was far less common than it is now.

[SolitarySolace]

Disagree. It hurts when you suspect cheating is happening. It hurts even more to find out you were correct. It hurts when your partner blames you. It hurts when others tell you it's your fault because of your choice in who to be with. i know this because I've never cheated before and I'm always the one being told to be better and not my past partners who have all cheated.

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Having stranger sex comes with both thrill and surprise - its intoxicating particularly for people that get bored of being in a relationship, while having the same sex over and over. So, I think its less about the opposing person being irresistible and more about the new experience. To answer your question though, yes, everything and anything only hurts when it hits you.

[Ms_Facesitter]

One big disagree. I think it must be crushing to see your significant other look at you differently. Passion that was once there, gone. You walk by him like he's maybe a roomie instead of your lover. The whole energy in the house changes.

[sage2021]

@Ms_Facesitter
And when I found out my husband was cheating and he moved out, I GOT MORE CLOSET SPACE - YAY!!😂🤣😅

[Ms_Facesitter]

:) being single does have its perks! It's not the end of the world.

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s exactly how I saw things @Ms_Facesitter when I found out my ex wife was having an affair behind my back and she was acting like she was still being loyal , When I pretty much knew she was being up to no good , I didn’t confront her until o had solid evidence so when I looked at her , the feelings weren’t the same anymore because I pretty much knew what she was up to , but I played it off like I didn’t so I could bust her , so just like you said the passion was gone and and she felt just like a roommate to me because of how distant she became , I ended up busting her at a hotel meeting her so called lover and that was all I needed for divorce

[lightbulb27]

That like saying lying is ok unless discovered. Problem is it is discovered… these are emotiknal relationships. No… its bad and destroys all built before it as the foundation built on sand.


This why christ is 💪

[IslaTheWitch]

I have a very strong opinion on this matter.

If I have to be cheated on, and it happened only once, I prefer not to know. I can't change the past and if it wouldn't repeat why should I suffer?

[Sasha0426]

Why wouldn’t you want to know your partner betrayed you?

[Sasha0426]

And what if he had STDs?

[IslaTheWitch]

@Sasha0426 as I wrote:
I can't change the past and if it wouldn't repeat why should I suffer?

what is STDs?

[Sasha0426]

You can’t be serious 😐 You honestly don’t know what STDs are?

[IslaTheWitch]

@Sasha0426 would I bother to ask if I knew?

[Radiate143]

Disagree. Even if you don't find out about the cheating, all the weird behaviour the feeling of distance the anger an snapping and the self doubt all hurt a lot.

[lilyanony1]

What about living with the guilt of having stepped out on your person.
That's a big deal whether they know or not...

[Finchie40]

Yes I agree , but sadly there are people out there that cheat , and
then go back to their partner like nothing happened and act like everything is ok, , in their mind it was just sex , and that’s what they tell themselves. sadly , I had my fair share of women that did this to their husbands and boyfriends behind their back with me,, not only were these girls’ playing me , they were playing their partner as well , once I found out she was lying to me I ended it immediately. These experiences I encountered has made it harder for me To fully trust someone again, when it comes down to pursuing a committed relationship with someone. , Someone can tell you they love you every single day , make you feel loved and wanted and valued , but behind your back , they are a whole different person , a side of them that you would never know, unless you caught them in the act. I can’t speak for everyone but with my own personal experiences and shit I have witnessed from others through the years , has changed my whole mindset on Love and relationships, One thing I know for sure , is every single one of us has selfishness inside ourselves , we can all be selfish when we want things to go our way , me personally will not waste my time with a girl that only cares about herself , that can’t wear my shoes the same
Way she expects me to wear hers, For me to even consider a relationship with a girl these days , she has some walls to climb that are protecting my heart , I am not saying I am perfect what so ever but I know I value relationships the old school way , it’s sad that I even have to say that , but sadly I have been with girls’ that just took me for granted and strung me along while Keeping their options opened , that didn’t resist temptation when she was confronted with a better
Opportunity in her selfish mindset. I have also been the other guy without even knowing i was. Most people do not know how to give the same way they want to receive , they only do what is best for

[Finchie40]

Themselves and see no wrong in themselves , it’s always someone else’s fault , Basically it’s ok for me to do this but not ok for you , and that’s where most relationships fail because most people can’t admit to themselves that they were wrong. For a relationship to survive both people have to choose each other over everyone else , make each other their top priority over everyone else , You can’t expect someone to do for you if you can’t do for them. I use to be the kind of guy that allowed myself to be a punching bag to a girl I gave my heart to , thinking love will save the day , to realize all I was doing was allowing her to write Sucker on my head. I no longer chase a girl that walks away from me , if she walks away I just let her go and let the other guy have her , if I am not her priority, she won’t be mine, I don’t want
To be with a girl that can’t stand by my side the same way she expects me to stand by hers , it has to go both ways or it’s just a waste of time, I am perfectly capable of supporting myself and living my life , I don’t want a girl that brings misery into it, Honesty is the only thing that really attracts me
To a girl these days , sadly most people have a hard time being honest

[Alicia_Hndz]

I think it’s the thrill that makes a person want to do it. If the couples been together for a long time and is super comfortable with each other the butterflies fade. Thats why we dont care how we dress or look sometimes around our partner. Then one person who we find attractive comes along and gives us that feeling again where we want to dress up and look good. So even if we love our partner we cheat because we find it amusing entertaining and for the thrill.

[Nikki1989]

Cheating is a part of life. Everyone will get cheated on at least once in their lifetime. The strong will get over it and move on with their lives, while the weak will bitch and moan about it forever.

[syncheart]

I think what you do in your mind is your own business. Your husband or wife has no control over it, and you have limited control yourself. However physically doing something is a lot worse. You might bring home a STD or get someone pregnant.

[WhitneySnow]

Totally disagree. Cheating can destroy your relationship even if you never find out.

[Dargil]

Disagree. Getting away with it is the same as "grab and run". It will happen again.

And again.

[Joshydavid25]

It depends on if the SO started acting different because they were either feeling guilty or were really into the side quest.. It'll hurt if they become distant..

[GrantArmstrong]

It hurts the relationship because you don't have the same connection and it hurts your partner because it changes how you are with them. It also usually costs them something in terms of your time or other resources that would otherwise benefit them.

[Fireguy17]

nope, the suspicion that someone is cheating isn't fun either, it's kind of a relief when you find out you were right.

[chrissykerdock]

get right with GOD and it won't hurt anymore

[annabananna]

It still hurts even if the person doesn’t know. It gets in the way of intimacy the husband and wife should be working on.